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Taking Time to Live Well
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The lacrosse and midnight feasts of boarding school novels are far removed from real life for most of us. So why does our love of such girlhood fiction endure?
On page 86 of September’s The Simple Things, we look at the school run of days gone by - from The Worst Witch to the Chalet School.
Here, we outline how to build your own Malory Towers. Our fictitious boarding school primer sets out the jolly necessary ingredients
Must be flawed but only to a small extent. Will either start off hating the school (see the O’Sullivan Twins and Elizabeth, The Naughtiest Girl in the School) or will be desperate to please but have to work to overcome said character flaw (see Darrell and her oft-referenced hot temper).
The most disliked girl in the school will usually have committed a crime so heinous as to scoff an entire box of chocs in bed or be secretly working class and ‘put on airs and graces’. See Pauline at St Clare’s who is ‘outed’ as working class when her mother visits and is mistaken for a school cook – the shame... Basically, being cowardly, nouveau riche or a little plump is equal to being Carlos the Jackal in boarding school land.
Usually has short hair and is ‘as brown as an acorn’ (to make clear her love of the outdoors). May well have 16 older brothers.
Will have a ‘drawl’ which grates on the other girls and probably aspirations of becoming
a Hollywood actress. Usually is also lazy and dislikes PE.
Tends to be ‘dark’ to denote some sort of European exoticism. Will have a hilarious accent and mispronounce words to the delight of her peers who all have English
as a first language and consider themselves superior in this respect.
Generally all headmistresses are solid and kind. Miss Grayling of Malory Towers, particularly so.
Usually identical to ensure maximum confusion and top japes.
Probably has ‘sparkling eyes’ to show their good-humoured mischief and a tuck box full of fake dog poo, invisible string and itching powder.
Must be of an artistic bent, for example, skilled in music or painting. Being academic is merely expected.
Worries and doubts have their up-sides. They could even help you feel happier…
Negative thoughts – worries, doubts and irritations – are like weeds. Despite our best efforts to think positive, look on the bright side, or be grateful for what we have, they still spring up. But what if the reason they are so persistent is that they serve a purpose and are even sometimes useful? According to an increasing number of experts, it’s time we stopped demonising negativity. It could help you feel happier.
Turn to page 78 of September’s The Simple Things for more on the power of negative thinking, including how to harness its power plus a fear-setting exercise.
The TED talk below explores the hard choices - what we most fear doing, asking, saying - and how they are very often exactly what we need to do. How can we overcome self-paralysis and take action? Tim Ferriss encourages us to fully envision and write down our fears in detail, in a simple but powerful exercise he calls "fear-setting." Learn more about how this practice can help you thrive in high-stress environments and separate what you can control from what you cannot.
After a summer holiday, little feels as good as coming back home.
Listen to our homecoming songs playlist now
There could be thousands more colours than your standard rainbow seven, if you take a moment to consider how you might name them.
Anyone who’s ever had to choose a paint for a wall or a piece of furniture will have found themselves immersed in colour charts and sampler pots where there’s more to colour than their product codes or Pantone reference. Every shade, tone, and hue comes with its own name– chocolate comtesse, mineral grey, crushed oregano, millennial pink. In a description of just two or three words, a whole world can be conjured up or reimagined.
But what about all those colours yet to be given names? What would you call the blue the sky turns 20 minutes after a summer sunset, for example? Or the particular grey the clouds look when half the sky’s about to storm and the rest is brilliant sunshine? How should you describe the colour of your mother’s eyes, or define the shade you like your tea? Don’t let the paint companies have all the fun. It’s a mindful practice to look carefully at the colours around you and really see them.
Start a colour experiment to recreate colours you love in paint in a journal, logging what you mixed and in what proportions, and then name your colours however you like – striplight yellow, garden shed brick, bank holiday traffic. Baby’s comfort blanket, granny’s dining table, mum’s golden flecks. Colour can capture moments, memories and places as well as words or pictures.
Image: Joe Shillington/Unsplash
Pretty much any activity can be a mindful activity, it’s fair to say, but colouring in, carefully and attentively, is particularly suitable. These beautiful illustrations by Emma Farrarons combine a colouring exercise with simple, fun and imaginative activities to help make any day a little more mindful. Download Emma’s chatterbox now or turn to page 52 of June’s The Simple Things for more mindful activities and colouring doodles.
Remember how much fun you had making chatterboxes as a child? Create a mindfulness chatterbox filled with eight different activities to help remind you to break your day and make time for mindfulness. Fold a square piece of paper as shown here. Come up with your own ideas or you can use the template as a guide.
Songs to inspire meandering and wanderlust in equal measure.
Listen to our songs for wandering playlist now
Big-sky fan Gavin Pretor-Pinney may be encouraging us all to have our heads in the clouds but there is real purpose behind his passion. Known as ‘the cloud guy’, Gavin founded the Cloud Appreciation Society 12 years ago on a whim, and it has now grown to over 43,000 members in 110 countries. Along with the app, his books – The Cloudspotter’s Guide and The Cloud Collector’s Handbook (plus another on wave watching) – have earned him widespread praise, and he is the go-to expert on the topic for journalists. Today alone, he has already spoken to the BBC and Al Jazeera, responding to news about new types of cloud being added to the International Cloud Atlas.
Watch his TED talk here or turn to page 32 of June's The Simple Things for more of our chat with Gavin.
Songs to trigger your imagination and let you ponder...
Image: Calum MacAulay/Unsplash
Why is it that we are so hard on ourselves - and other women? In their new book – WE: A Manifesto for Women Everywhere (Thorsons) – Gillian Anderson and Jennifer Nadel explore how we can transform criticism into compassion. Turn to page 38 of May's The Simple Things for more from Gillian and Jennifer, or try these two mindful exercises:
BEING IMPERFECTLY PERFECT
If we don’t embrace our so-called imperfections then how can we expect anyone else to?
GAINING PERSPECTIVE
This exercise will connect you to that which really gives your life meaning.
1 Have your journal ready and then centre yourself by taking five deep breaths in and five slightly longer breaths out. Close your eyes and imagine you are a much older version of yourself, coming to the end of your life. Look back at your time and ask this older you what has really mattered. What are you glad to have experienced, and what do you care about most?
2 Open your eyes and write down what the older you has to say. Stay in this future state with your wiser self until you feel she has given you all you need to know.
3 Now close your eyes again and allow yourself to time travel back to today. Centre yourself in the present. Take a look at what you wrote down and think about how you spend your time now.
How much of your energy is focused on the things on your list? How many of the items on your list have to do with looks, achievements and material possessions? How many are about relationships and love? If you keep this list in mind you’ll find that the awareness it gives you will gently result in your priorities starting to shift.
In September's The Simple Things we meet Sebastian Pole, herbalist, tea-maker and co-founder of Pukka who turned his fascination with herbs into one of the biggest do-you-good cuppa brands, learning a few life lessons along the way. Read the interview on page 32.
Try Pukka’s quiz to discover your dosha, designed to help you understand more about yourself, what’s good for you and what’s not. It's an amazing way to find out more about who you are and provides tips for your own personal health and happiness – including ways in which you can sleep better.
The theory behind the quiz comes from ancient wisdom that has passed down for centuries in India, through a system known as Ayurveda, which actually means ‘the art of living wisely’.
To start you have to find out what your ‘dosha’ or body-mind type is, you’ll then be able to know what helps you thrive the most; what foods to eat, what exercises are best for you and what relationship types of other body/mind types suit you best. It even gives an insight into how each different type typically responds to the need for sleep. In essence, it brings you special insight about your health, informing your choices and decisions that you make everyday.
Following the wisdom of Ayurveda there are said to be three constitutional types; “wind (vata), fire (pitta) and water (kapha). They destroy or maintain the body, according to whether they are sick or healthy.”
We all want to be healthy so that we have the best chance to enjoy and fulfil our potential in life. But excellent health seems to be such a complicated subject that it is not always easy to know how to achieve this holy grail. Although at first it might appear an alien concept, understanding your constitutional dosha goes a long way in helping you to realise your perfect health.
In Ayurveda your personal constitution is known as prakriti, which means ‘nature’, as in your inherent genetic type. Ayurveda teaches us how to find out what our constitution is by observing who we are and how we feel. And this lesson is a very simple and enriching one. As you learn what your real nature is you can live a truly authentic life – a life that suits you and allows your health to flourish.
This quiz will give you an example of your current state of health. The result you get after the test gives you an idea about how balanced your health is at the moment. You will probably be a mix of each of the dosha but it is likely that one will dominate. You have to be something. Each of the dosha have some advantages and some disadvantages. By following the recommendations appropriate for your constitution, Ayurveda can help you fulfill your potential and to be really comfortable in who you are.
So, if you feel inspired, run through the quiz questions to determine your Ayurvedic constitution...and Pukka will send you some life-changing insights every now and then that will add clarity and colour to your life.
To discover your dosha, head to the Pukka site to take the quiz...
Time to come into the garden and frolic among the flowers.
Listen to our floral songs playlist now
Illustration: Anke Weckmann
Quick fixes and inner peace may seem unlikely bedfellows - but there are simple tools you can use to feel more serene
Wouldn’t it be great to be more patient, unruffled and at ease? To be able to hold onto that sense of contentment and serenity that comes over you when you experience a gorgeous sunset, a walk in the woods or a restful soak in a bath. Yet those moments of peace tend to quickly evaporate and anxiety, ever present in the background, finds a way to creep back to the surface. The good news is that becoming more serene doesn’t have to mean changing your lifestyle completely or hours of meditation or yoga. It can be as simple as practising some easy calming techniques that you can call upon in stressful circumstances or when you’re just feeling a bit ruffled. Have a go at the following micro-practices, find out what works for you and use them whenever you need an extra dose of calm.
You may have heard the old Native American parable about the two wolves fighting inside of us all. There’s the wolf of fear and hate and the wolf of love and compassion, and whichever wolf we feed will win the fight. Most people are incredibly hard on themselves both in their thoughts (self-criticism) and behaviour (destructive and self-sabotaging). Yet if we are kind and compassionate to ourselves and feed our good wolf, we develop the ability to have compassion for others.
This is an ancient breathing technique that restores and recalibrates the central nervous system. The combination of a short inhale followed by a twice-as-long exhale has an immediate effect on the parasympathetic nervous system, putting the brakes on your stress response.
1 Inhale to the count of 4.
2 Hold your breath to the count of 7.
3 Exhale through your mouth as if blowing through a straw to the count of 8.
4 Repeat cycle twice more.
5 Do three cycles in the morning and the evening for a calmer, less reactive disposition.
Imagine if you could consult your future self for advice or counsel? Perhaps your 98-year-old self, even now, has some wisdom to impart to you.
1 Close your eyes and imagine yourself at the age of 98.
2 Formulate a question or a concern that you’d like to ask your inner wise woman.
3 Imagine your older, wiser self conversing with your current self – you could even have her write you a letter if that makes it easier.
4 See if a wider perspective shifts your current perception of what’s going on today.
Turn to page 86 of April's The Simple Things for more suggestions, including how to embrace change, giving morning thanks, armchair travel, sitting in child’s pose, carrying a talisman,
and the butterfly hug technique.
Taken from The Little Book of Inner Peace: Simple Practices for Less Angst, More Calm by Ashley Davis Bush (Octopus)
Surround yourself with friends and family and this month’s playlist
Getty Images
The census, taken on a spring night every decade since 1801, is a record of both everyday sexism and the emancipation of women
When the idea of a national census was first championed in Britain, it was argued that, “the intimate knowledge of any country must form the rational basis of legislation and diplomacy”. Unsurprisingly, it wasn’t always so “rational”, especially when it came to the female proportion of the population. Each decade’s census gives us a – sometimes unintentional – glimpse into society’s attitudes towards women.
In 1811, the second time the census was taken, households were asked to give only their chief source of income. In most cases, this this overlooked the contribution of women who, while likely not the primary earner, frequently did odd jobs, such as selling handicrafts, that kept the family from the breadline. Twenty years later, it changed so only adult male employment was registered, with the exception of the 670,491 female servants in England, Scotland and Wales, once again completely ignoring the long hours put in by women.
Turn to page 76 of March's The Simple Things for more.
Image: Unsplash
Nourish and revive... Self-massage is a great pick-me-up and way to unwind. Release tension in the neck and shoulders and your whole body will feel better. Techniques can either be done through the clothes or using a massage oil.
Equipment:
1⁄2-1 tsp oil in a shallow dish
A small towel
First, some simple stretches. Seated with straight back, lower your chin to your chest. Roll your head in a circle starting left then round to the right until you come full circle. Raise your head, shrug your shoulders and release.
Next, spread some oil over neck, shoulders and upper arms (optional):
1 Place one hand over the opposite shoulder. Slowly squeeze and knead the muscles along the crest of the shoulder.
2 Continue the kneading movement up your neck to the base of your skull.
Return to the shoulder and lift and squeeze the muscles. Repeat on the other side.
3 ‘Shampoo’ firmly over your scalp with thumbs and fingertips.
4 Brush briskly down from your neck over shoulder and upper arm to your elbow. Repeat on the other side and relax.
Turn to page 91 of February’s The Simple Things for our four-page guide to massage.
Steps for self-massage from The Massage Bible by Susan Mumford (Godsfield Press).
‘Like many treasured pieces of jewellery, this bracelet – originally a gift to my nan from my granddad – means something for being passed down through the family. It’s got the added charm of being out of the ordinary – created from 26 Dutch 10 cents pieces, each about the size of a five pence. Each coin bears the face of Wilhelmina, Queen of the Netherlands, who was exiled following the German invasion in 1940, and dates from between 1936 up to 1944, the year it was given to my nan.’
Frances Ambler chose to write about her grandmother’s bracelet for our new feature, What I Treasure. Turn to page 89 of February’s The Simple Things to read the story behind this precious heirloom.
We’d like to know what you treasure - whether it’s a sentimental artefact, a person, a place or something else. Tell us in 500 words what means a lot to you - email thesimplethings@icebergpress.co.uk
Image: Unsplash
Things you might want to do this month (no pressure!)
Start each day with an energy-giving breakfast
Keep your head up and watch out for the first spring shoots
Eat rolled up pancakes (on the 28th) then lick your sticky fingers
Pay a stranger a compliment ("I love your scarf; that’s the best brownie I’ve had in ages...")
Read an autobiography of somebody you admire
What would you add? Come over and tell us on Facebook or Twitter.
We celebrate slowing down, enjoying what you have, making the most of where you live, enjoying the company of of friends and family, and feeding them well. We like to grow some of our own vegetables, visit local markets, rummage for vintage finds, and decorate our home with the plunder. We love being outdoors and enjoy the satisfaction that comes with a job well done.
