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Taking time to live well
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Looking back | Build your own Malory Towers

Lottie Storey September 13, 2017

The lacrosse and midnight feasts of boarding school novels are far removed from real life for most of us. So why does our love of such girlhood fiction endure?

On page 86 of September’s The Simple Things, we look at the school run of days gone by - from The Worst Witch to the Chalet School. 

Here, we outline how to build your own Malory Towers. Our fictitious boarding school primer sets out the jolly necessary ingredients

THE HEROINE

Must be flawed but only to a small extent. Will either start off hating the school (see the O’Sullivan Twins and Elizabeth, The Naughtiest Girl in the School) or will be desperate to please but have to work to overcome said character flaw (see Darrell and her oft-referenced hot temper).

THE VILLAIN

The most disliked girl in the school will usually have committed a crime so heinous as to scoff an entire box of chocs in bed or be secretly working class and ‘put on airs and graces’. See Pauline at St Clare’s who is ‘outed’ as working class when her mother visits and is mistaken for a school cook – the shame... Basically, being cowardly, nouveau riche or a little plump is equal to being Carlos the Jackal in boarding school land.

THE TOMBOY

Usually has short hair and is ‘as brown as an acorn’ (to make clear her love of the outdoors). May well have 16 older brothers.

THE GLAMOROUS AMERICAN

Will have a ‘drawl’ which grates on the other girls and probably aspirations of becoming
a Hollywood actress. Usually is also lazy and dislikes PE.

THE DOESN’T-GET-IT FRENCH PUPIL

Tends to be ‘dark’ to denote some sort of European exoticism. Will have a hilarious accent and mispronounce words to the delight of her peers who all have English
as a first language and consider themselves superior in this respect.

THE SOLID AND KIND HEADMISTRESS

Generally all headmistresses are solid and kind. Miss Grayling of Malory Towers, particularly so.

THE TWINS

Usually identical to ensure maximum confusion and top japes.

THE PRANKSTER

Probably has ‘sparkling eyes’ to show their good-humoured mischief and a tuck box full of fake dog poo, invisible string and itching powder.

THE GENIUS

Must be of an artistic bent, for example, skilled in music or painting. Being academic is merely expected.

  Buy ,  download  or  subscribe   See the sample of our latest issue  here   Buy a copy of our latest anthology:  A Year of Celebrations   Buy a copy of  Flourish 2 , our wellbeing bookazine  Listen to  our podcast  - Small Ways to Live Well

Get hold of your copy of this month's The Simple Things - buy, download or subscribe

View the sampler here.

 

More from the September issue:

Featured
Sep 25, 2017
Nest | String of hearts
Sep 25, 2017
Sep 25, 2017
coffee and walnut mini loaf cake recipe.png
Sep 23, 2017
Recipe | Coffee & walnut mini loaf cakes
Sep 23, 2017
Sep 23, 2017
SIM63.RUBBISHARTISTS_EL Ian Berry Studio  04.jpg
Sep 22, 2017
Creativity | Meet the makers using waste as a material for art
Sep 22, 2017
Sep 22, 2017

More Looking back posts:

Featured
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Jun 20, 2024
History | Signature Hotel Dishes and Drinks
Jun 20, 2024
Jun 20, 2024
George Blake Alamy.jpg
Jan 15, 2022
Primer | Spy Gadgets
Jan 15, 2022
Jan 15, 2022
Walled garden Alamy.jpg
Apr 27, 2019
Why we love a secret garden
Apr 27, 2019
Apr 27, 2019
InThink Tagsissue 63, september, looking back, school, back to school, books
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Featured
  Buy ,  download  or  subscribe   See the sample of our latest issue  here   Buy a copy of our latest anthology:  A Year of Celebrations   Buy a copy of  Flourish 2 , our wellbeing bookazine  Listen to  our podcast  - Small Ways to Live Well
Feb 27, 2025
Feb 27, 2025

Buy, download or subscribe

See the sample of our latest issue here

Buy a copy of our latest anthology: A Year of Celebrations

Buy a copy of Flourish 2, our wellbeing bookazine

Listen to our podcast - Small Ways to Live Well

Feb 27, 2025
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The Simple Things is published by Iceberg Press

The Simple Things

Taking time to live well

We celebrate slowing down, enjoying what you have, making the most of where you live, enjoying the company of of friends and family, and feeding them well. We like to grow some of our own vegetables, visit local markets, rummage for vintage finds, and decorate our home with the plunder. We love being outdoors and enjoy the satisfaction that comes with a job well done.

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