Puzzle | Wild Flowers

Make a cup of tea, get out the biscuit tin, then click on the link below to visit our jigsaws album and put together an online jigsaw of the beautiful image above by Ali Allen above.

The wildflowers pictured are from our feature ‘Foraged Floristry’ by Rachel de Thample from our July issue. Rachel says:

“You don’t need to spend a fortune at the florists when you can forage for local blooms in a sensitive and non-intrusive way. The art of gathering a wild bouquet grounds you in nature, finely attunes you to the unfolding seasons, all while saving money. It also means you’re not buying intensively grown flowers, which often come with pesticide and chemical residues. Summer, when the heat encourages a richer palette, more diversity and abundance, is the best time to make foraging flowers for the table a weekly ritual.

“The golden rule when foraging is to never take more than a quarter of what’s available, but with wildflowers it’s best to only pick one in twenty to ensure you leave enough to provide food and shelter for the wildlife. The Botanical Society of Britain & Ireland (bsbi.org) publishes a code of conduct for picking, collecting and photographing wild plants.”

Click the button below to do the Simple Things Wildflowers jigsaw, popping back here when you need to to view the whole image, then you can pick up the July issue to find out how to turn wildflowers from hedgerows, coastal paths and roadsides into beautiful bouquets.

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Fun | Games for Picnics

A picnic isn’t complete without a run about and a bit of competition after your sausage rolls and strawberries. We’ve rounded up a few of our favourite games for a picnic

Tug of War

Best for: A gang of mates at the beach.

You’ll need: A long, thick rope.

How to play: You (literally) know the ropes. Mark a line in the sand or chuck a jumper down to be ‘the line’. Split into two equal teams, taking into account size, strength etc (you may need one extra person on one side to even it up). Line up on either side of the rope with the middle of the rope over the line. On the count of three, both teams should pull on the rope. The winning team is the first to pull one of the other team over the line. 

Capture the Flag

Best for: Family groups in the woods.

You’ll need: Two ‘flags’ (they can be t-shirts, napkins, toys or anything else).

How to play: Divide the space into two ‘territories’ (an invisible line between two trees will do) and nominate a space to be a ‘jail’. Split into two teams. Each team should hide the other team’s flag somewhere on their territory. Both teams then compete to find their flag and get it back to their own territory without being tagged and thrown in jail. You can only be tagged on the other team’s territory. A member of your team can release you from ‘jail’ by running to the jail to ‘untag’ you. 

French Cricket

Best for: Neighbours in the park.

You’ll need: A cricket bat and a tennis ball.

How to play: One person is the batter. Everyone else fields in a circle around them, taking turns to be bowler. The batter’s legs are the stumps. The bowler bowls at the ‘stumps’ and the batter must hit the ball away with the bat. If the ball is caught the batter is out and replaced by whoever caught them out. If the batter has hit the ball they may then turn to face the next bowler. If they didn’t hit it they must play the next bowl facing the same way, twisting to defend their stumps from whichever direction they choose to bowl. 

Cats or Dogs

Best for: Couples or anyone getting to know each other

You’ll need: Nothing!

How to play: You don’t even need to get up for this one. Simply sit back over a glass of something chilled and take it in turns to fire ‘choice’ questions at each other. Start with ‘cats or dogs?’ and move on to ‘sweets or chocolates?’, ‘oranges or lemons?’, ‘Piers Brosnan or Daniel Craig?’ and wherever your fancy takes you. 

This blog was inspired by our feature ‘Delicious, Fictitious Picnics’ in our June issue, in which we take a look at picnics from novels. Buy a copy of our June issue in shops or from our online store and join us on the picnic blanket.

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Games | for campervans, caravans and tents

Gather round the foldy-up table and join us for some fun and games for small spaces

If you’re heading off camping this summer you’re probably planning a few games around the campfire. There’s nothing like staring into the flames over a hand of cards with a steaming mug of tea (or a whisky) by your side. 

But the reality of British weather means you need a back up plan, too, and we’re all about embracing the back-up plan. While basking in the great outdoors, under the stars on a warm night is a wonderful thing, we love just as much the cosiness of playing a game, crammed happily around a tiny table with hot drinks on the Primus and rain battering the roof (or canvas) over your head. 

Camping accommodation wasn’t built for large board games with many pieces. So here’s our round-up of games for small spaces that require few props, or nothing at all, and won’t end with someone’s tea being spilt during a particularly riotous round of charades. 

Monopoly Deal
Monopoly without the board and, better still, without the commitment of hours! This tiny travel version of the classic board game can be played in around 15 minutes.. Buy Monopoly Deal. 

Mini Jenga.

As much fun as the giant, building and balancing game, but fits easily into your rucksack and can be played on the teeniest of caravan furniture or on a fold-up camping table. Buy Mini Jenga.

Wink Murder

An oldie but a goodie. Take as many sheets of paper as you have players. Write ‘potential victim’ on all but one. Write ‘murderer’ on the last one. Chat, eat, drink and go about your business as usual. The murderer must secretly wink at others to ‘murder’ them without being spotted. If you are winked at you must silently count to five then enact a grisly ‘death’. If you think you have spotted the murderer you may accuse them by ordering them to turn over their card. 

Balderdash

All you need is a pen and paper for this. A dictionary is useful but you can also look up ‘Balderdash free words list’ on your phone to get you started. Take it in turns to choose an unusual word and secretly write down the definition. The other players make up their own plausible definitions. The person who picked the word then reads out all the definitions including the real one and everyone votes on which they think is the real word. Players score points for every person who votes for their ‘definition’. You get a point if you guess correctly, too. 

Bulls and Cows

For the mathematically inclined… One player writes down a secret 4-digit number. The other players take it in turns to guess it. Player one tells them how many they got right or wrong and how many were in their correct position. (Clue: it pays to write down each guess and how many were correct or incorrect and how many were in the right positions). By process of elimination someone will eventually work out the correct number. Good for anyone who has ever felt the pain of forgetting the combination to the padlock on the shed. And no, we’ve no idea why it’s called bulls and cows either.

Bananagrams

This is basically Scrabble but faster and with no board. Even more fun when camping and you have no access to a dictionary for anyone to check if you’re cheating or not. Buy Bananagrams. 

Find me on a Map

OK, we’ll admit we just made this one up but it’s great for when you’re in an area you don’t know well and want to know better. Get out the OS map. One person chooses a square and everyone takes it in turns to ask a question. Is there a church in your square? Is it close to water? Is it on a fold? You get the picture. The first person to get it goes first. Bonus points if you choose somewhere with a rude place name in. 

Ultimate Werewolf

Our favourite game of the moment, again in a very compact little cards-sized box. You need at least five players and are all given roles - as seers, witches, werewolves and more and you have to work out who the werewolf is amongst you. There’s an excellent app to make it more atmospheric but you can just play it with one of you as the ‘moderator’. Lots of fun and excellent for nights when there’s a storm howling outside your campervan. Buy Ultimate Werewolf. 

The After Eight Game

You will need a box of After Eights. Everyone sits around a table, tips their head back and places and After Eight on their forehead. The aim of the game is to move the After Eight down your face towards your mouth using only your facial muscles and gravity (no hands), and then eat it. Delightfully silly and immature and lots of fun. 

Pub Cricket

This is one for the way home in the car. You can play in teams or as individuals. Team one or person one goes in to bat. Every time you pass a pub you get a run for each leg in the name of the pub, so The Dog and Duck scores 6 (4 for the dog’s legs and 2 for the duck’s). The Coach and Horses would be 8, though you could probably argue for more horses based on the painting on the sign. You keep batting as long as every pub you pass has legs in. If you score no points (The King’s Arms, The Crown etc) you head back to the pavilion and someone else goes in to bat. You keep your score as it is for your next turn in to bat. 

If you’re inspired by the idea of living a campervan life, don’t miss the feature in our July issue about people who’ve adopted the campervan lifestyle in a more permanent way.

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How to | do a jigsaw properly

With a little forethought and planning you can puzzle to perfection without going to pieces

Just because Christmas is a time for fun a frivolity, doesn’t mean we can’t do the fun and frivolity properly. We like to start jigsaw puzzles with the same enthusiasm and commitment with which we would undertake any Very Important Way of Passing An Otherwise Deliciously Empty Afternoon. Here’s how.

Do your jigsaw prep

Clear an area so that you can spread out all your pieces and will have enough room to do the puzzle, too. The dimensions are usually on the box. A proper jigsaw roll is a real boon if you can’t dedicate the space to a puzzle for a whole day (or week). But otherwise, a large, hard surface like a dining table or even a big board you can push under the sofa between jigsaw sessions will do the job just as well. A smooth surface that you can sift the pieces across easily is best. 
Ensure no crawling babies, pets or other potential hazards are nearby. 
Get yourself a big mug of tea and make sure you have plenty more in the house to fuel you through your puzzling. Get a couple of biscuits, too.
Actually, scratch that, get the whole tin. You don’t want to be wasting precious time going back and forth to the kitchen. Also very much acceptable is a large tin of Quality Street or the like. 

Spend time sorting the pieces

Yes, it’s the most boring bit and it’s tempting to just dive right in, but time spent ‘zoning’ the pieces now will make putting it together much easier. Tip out the pieces and then turn the all face up, ‘zoning’ them into areas of the picture as you go. If your picture contains two similar areas, like two separate parts of sky, zone all those pieces together for now and you might be able to separate them by tone later. With very large puzzles, of more than 250 pieces, it’s best to get little pots (kitchen Tupperware is good) and have separate pots for all the different zones. While zoning, separate out any edge pieces. If you’re doing a rectangular or square puzzle, put the four corners somewhere safe. 

Do the edges first

Some people will tell you that starting with a zone of the puzzle you find easy to do somewhere in the middle is just as good. Those people are wrong. And we all know that the middle is the most fun to do and should therefore be saved until last. Complete your whole edge first. Your future self (in about an hour) will thank you. 

Take a tea break

You need to stretch your eyes a bit and what better excuse than a wander out to the garden while the kettle is boiling? Semi-pro puzzlers will do a few lunges too, to get the blood circulating and plenty of oxygen to the brain. The rest of us use the time to ensure the biscuit tin doesn’t need restocking. 

Get in the zone

Once you have your frame edges, choose a zone you fancy working on. A zone that borders a large expanse, such as sky or water, is a good place to start as it gives you a jumping off point for that. Once you’ve completed that ‘zone’, pick another, preferably one next to it, so you’ve got somewhere to start from. 

Fill in the gaps

Once you’ve done all the main zones, you should be able to join them up and fill in any bits you couldn’t find a home for between them and around the edges. 

Exhibit your finished puzzle and accept accolades from family and friends

Some jigsaw puzzles today are so genuinely lovely they need framing. You can even buy ‘no frame frames' where you simply stick the jigsaw to a backing before hanging it on the wall. 
You may like to have a grand unveiling over a tipple or two in the room where your puzzle is on display. We don’t think this would be de trop at all though your family might. And if you’re having a small Christmas and therefore have a small audience, we’d say you’re completely justified in sharing your puzzle heavily on social media. If you have to put up with photos of people’s pets, kids and lunches all year, your friends owe you. 

Turn to page 42 of our December issue to read more about the joy of jigsaw puzzles. and some of the best in the shops now. And while you’re waiting for yours to arrive, we’ve made a few online puzzles you can do right now here.

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Seven of our favourite card games

Join our card school and learn to play a few traditional games

When the evenings draw in and there’s a chill in the air, it’s the ideal time to dust off a pack of cards and cosy up for the evening. Whether you’re a green visors and whiskies card shark or more of a cup of tea and a quick hand of rummy before bed type, we hope you enjoy learning some of our favourite games.

Black Jack (Brit style)*

BASICS: 4-6 players; 52-card deck. Each player gets seven cards. Remaining cards are placed face down as stock with top card turned over as the starter. First player lays a card on the starter, which must match in either suit or rank, or draws a card from stock. The player continues laying cards in sequence until they can’t go or they lay an action card.

ACTION CARDS:
Two: next player picks up two cards, unless they can play a Two and make the next player pick up four.

Eight: next player misses turn.

Black Jack: next player picks up five cards. A second Black Jack makes the next player pick up ten. Red Jack cancels.

Queen: follow with a card of any suit.

King: reverses play order.

The first person to shed all their cards wins. However, when a player can win on their next go, they must call ‘last cards’ or have to draw a card.

*It’s different to the US gambling game ‘Blackjack’.

Eights

A game best played with two people, also known as Crazy Eights or Swedish Rummy

BASICS: 2–7 players; 52-card deck

Each player receives 5 cards (with two players, each receives 7 cards). Remaining cards are placed face down as the stock, with top card turned up as the starter. First player lays one card on the starter, which must match in either suit or rank. If unable to do this, the player must draw a card from the stock. When the stock is exhausted, a player unable to play must pass.

Eights are wild and can be played on any card, regardless of its suit or rank, with the player specifying its suit. Play ends when any player lays his last card. He scores the total of cards remaining in all other hands: Eights score

50, aces 1, face cards 10, the index value for all others. With two players, the first to reach 100 points wins.

Knockout whist

The classic family favourite. Sniggering at the word ‘trumps’ never gets old.

BASICS: 2–7 players; 52 card deck; Ace is high

Seven cards are dealt to each player. The next card is turned up and becomes the trump suit. The player to the left of the dealer places the first card. Each player must follow the suit led, if possible. If not, play any other card, including a trump card. The highest trump wins the trick or, if no trumps are played, the highest card of the suit led. The winner leads the next trick.

Once all cards are played, players without any tricks are eliminated. The player with the most tricks picks trumps for the next hand; if two people have the same amount of tricks, cut cards to decide. The number of cards dealt decreases by one each hand, until only one player – the ultimate winner – remains.

Ninety-Nine

BASICS: 2 or more players; 52-card deck; you’ll need chips or counters.

Each player is given three counters and dealt three cards.

To play, place one card face up in the centre of the table, calling out the total value of the face-up pile before drawing the top card from the stock. Each card adds its face value in points. Jacks and Queens count as 10.

The following cards have additional effects:

3: skips next player

4: no value, reverses play

9: value of 99

10: adds or subtracts ten from the total

King: no value

Ace: value of one or 11.

If the player cannot place a card without taking the value of the pile over 99, the round ends and they lose one counter.

The winner is the last person left with counters.

Oh Hell!

A trick-taking game, beloved by Bill Clinton and Steven Spielberg, in which the object is to take exactly the number of tricks bid

BASICS: 3-7 players; 52 card deck; Ace is high

Each player is dealt a hand. There are many variations but typically, with

3–5 players, 10 cards each; 6 players, 8 cards each; 7 players, 7 cards each.

Each successive hand is played with one card fewer. After dealing, the next card is turned up and becomes the trump suit. Each player now bids for the number of tricks he thinks he can win. The player to the left of the dealer starts. Each player must follow the suit led, if possible. If not, play any other card, including trump. The highest card of the led suit wins the trick unless ruffed, when the highest trump wins. A player who wins the exact number of tricks bid scores 10 plus the number of tricks bid.

Klondike Solitaire

BASICS: 1–4 players; 52-card deck

One of the most popular versions of Solitaire, Klondike is typically a solo game, but it can be played as a group activity where everyone works together to solve the same shuffle. Players sort cards into foundation piles from Ace to King by suit, while organizing cards into descending order with alternating colors in the tableau.

Klondike is perfect for those looking to relax or sharpen their strategic thinking, either individually or as a team. You can try Klondike Solitaire here and even compete to see who can solve it fastest.

Red Dog

Beat the top card of the pack by having a higher ranking card of the same suit.

Basics: 2–10 players; 52-card deck; Ace is high; you’ll need chips or counters.

Five cards dealt to each player face down (four if more than eight play). Players put up one or any number of agreed chips to make the pool. First player can bet one chip or up to the number in the pool (‘betting the pot’). The dealer turns the top card of the pack. If the player can show a higher card in the same suit he wins back his bet and the pool. If he can’t he adds his chips to the pool, discards his hand and it’s the next player’s go. You can forfeit a hand by adding a chip to the pot and discarding your cards. When there are no chips in the pot, each player adds more and play continues.

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Fun | Games to play around a fire

We think a good Autumn bonfire should be as much fun as a Summer campfire. Here are a few simple games to make sitting around a fire for an evening a proper event

With warmer clothes, warmer drinks and something to prevent soggy bottoms, November bonfires or fire pits can be just as much fun as summertime ones. But with chillier conditions and hands tied up with gloves and cupping hot drinks, you need games that don’t require cards or too many props. Who wants to be hunting around for a three of spades or a dice in leaf mould in the dark, after all? We’ve collated a few of our favourite games for around the fire that can be played with no kit at all. And if it gets a bit too chilly, they work just as well cosied up by the fire indoors too. We won’t tell anyone. <winks>

1. Spot the lie

Each player has to make three statements, one of which is a lie and two of which are true. If the lie isn’t spotted they get to go again. If they are caught out, play moves to the next person.

2. Fortunately/Unfortunately

This one’s good fun for kids too and can get quite raucous. The first person starts with any statement they like to begin a story. So it might be: ‘I went to the library to borrow the latest John Grisham…’ They then add an ‘unfortunately’ statement, for example. ‘Unfortunately, Prince Charles had come in just moments before and borrowed it himself.’ Play passes to the next person who adds a fortunately statement, such as: ‘Fortunately, I caught him up in the car park and asked if he’d mind lending it to me when he’d finished.’ Play continues with each player starting with a fortunately and then an unfortunately statement alternatively. Make them as ridiculous as you can. Play until you can’t stand any more!

3. Winking Assassin

You need a few players for this but it’s ideal for dark evenings. One player each turn is ‘The Godfather’. Everyone must close their eyes while the Godfather walks around the circle behind the players and taps one player on the back. That person is the assassin. The Godfather sits down and normal conversation continues. The assassin must surreptitiously wink at the other players one by one. If you’re winked at you ‘die’ (in dramatic, blood-curdling fashion, please). If you see the assassin winking at someone else you may accuse them, or you can make a guess any time. If you’re wrong, though you are also ‘dead’. The person who correctly identifies the assassin without being winked at is the next Godfather. 

4. The Alphabet Game

One player shouts out a letter of the alphabet and at the same time another player shouts the name of a category. So it might be ‘B’ and ‘countries of the world’. You can either go round the group with each player naming a country that begins with B or just all shout out as many as you can at once, which is louder and more fun. Get creative with your categories. They could be chocolate bars, politicians or things you might find in your kitchen drawer. 

5. Twenty One

This is an old drinking game (but it works just as well with hot chocolate). You do need a few people for it. Five or six is ideal. You go round the group ‘counting’ from one to 21. Each player can choose to say either one, two or three numbers, as long as they are in sequence. If they say just one number play continues in the same direction. If they say two, the direction of play reverses. If they say three the next person skips their go. If you mess it up you take a swig of your drink and start again from one. If it gets to 21 the person that says ‘21’ gets to add a new rule for the next round, eg on every odd number you have to clap, or on every number divisible by five play reverses and skips a player. 

6. I went to market and I bought…

An oldie but a goodie and also one that works well with kids. Player one starts by saying ‘I went to market and I bought…’ and naming an item: ‘12 eggs’, for example. Play continues round the circle with each player repeating the list so far and adding their own: ‘I went to market and I bought 12 eggs, and a pint of milk’. Keep going until someone messes up the list. Make your shopping items as complex as possible to make it harder. ‘12 Cotswold Legbar blue eggs’, perhaps. 

7. Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon

One for film buffs. Link any actor to Kevin Bacon in as few leaps as possible. So for example, Elvis Presley: Presley was in Change of Habit with Edward Asner, Edward Asner was in JFK with Kevin Bacon. So Elvis Presley has a Bacon Number of two. (Edward Asner has a Bacon Number of one). See if you can think of quicker links back to Bacon than the other players. 

8. Hum that Tune

Just like Name That Tune but you can only hum. Pick a song or TV theme you think you can hum well (hint: go for songs light on percussion and heavy on strings) and hum it until someone guesses what it was. Play passes to the person who guesses first. 

9. World Map

This is nice and easy and geography buffs will love it. One player says the name of a country. The next player has to think of a country whose name starts with the last letter of the previous country so play might go: England, Denmark, Kazakhstan… You can also play with counties, names. Bands, whatever you like. 

10.  Noises off

Pick a ‘theme’ - it can be anything really: ‘in the forest’, ‘horror movies’, ‘Christmas’. Everyone then takes turns to make a noise ‘from’ that theme. So if you’d chosen Christmas you might make the noise of a Christmas pudding being lit, a robin singing, Santa coming down the chimney, Brussels sprouts being chopped etc. You can only use your mouth, hands and feet to make the noises and ‘actions’ aren’t allowed. This is NOT charades. Charades is for wimps. 

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How to | win at outdoor Scrabble

Get your game face on. Here’s how to win with words this summer

We do love a board game here at The Simple Things, and we see no reason not to continue playing board games just because the warmer weather is here. Weren’t the best days at school those summer days when you were allowed to take your work outside onto the field, after all? 

So gather up your scrabble, Cluedo and Monopoly and take them out into the garden. A bit of fresh air should inspire your gaming brain and if you’re lucky, the sun will addle your competitors’ brains, giving you the edge.

To give you a headstart on all the fun, we’ve collated the highest scoring words of every length in Scrabble. Learn these off by heart and don’t tell any of your gaming competitors. 

Nine letters

An EXOENZYME is an enzyme that is secreted by a cell and functions outside of that cell. On the Scrabble board (without any double or triple letter word scores, even) it will win you 30 points.

Eight letters

SOVKHOZY - the plural for a state-owned farm in Russia. Earns 30 points. 

Seven letters* 

The highest scoring seven-letter word in Scrabble is MUZJIKS. The word refers to Russian peasants, particularly pre-1917 and scores 29 points. 

Six letters

Slightly disappointingly, the highest score achievable is for MUZJIK (see seven letters), which scores 28. If you feel that’s too much like cheating you could try QUACKY for 24 points.

Five letters

ZIPPY (as in speedy) will score you 21 points (and get rid of that tricky ‘z’. 

Four letters

Cleverly, QUIZ earns 22 points, giving you more bang for your buck with four letters than you could earn with five!

Three letters

You’ll score 19 points with ZAX, which is a tool for trimming and puncturing roof slates. So now you know.

Two letters

Both ZA and QI will score you 11 points with only two tiles. We were suspicious about ‘za’. Apparently, it’s a shortened term for ‘pizza’, which sounds highly dubious to us, but it is in fact in the Scrabble dictionary. Qi (pronounced ‘chee’) is, of course, the vital force that is inherent in all things, according to Chinese wisdom. You can add an ‘s’ to both Za and Qi, too, and it wouldn’t be qi-ting at all!

*Don’t forget if you play all seven of your tiles at once you earn an additional 50 points. 

If you’re really struck by the idea of outdoor board games, buy our August ‘Pause’ issue, which has instructions on p124 for making your own giant outdoor Scrabble set.

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The rules of petanque

Nothing quite says summer like the clink of pétanque balls. Lager and Gallic shrugs optional

Pétanque (or boules) is played in two teams with two sets of differently marked boules. You can play in teams of two (3 boules each); three (2 each) or one against one (3 each).

1 Draw a circle on the ground (or use a coiled rope), 50cm in diameter.

2 A player from team one stands in the circle and throws the jack (the wooden boule) to land 6-10m from the rope, a metre away from any other object. Team one throws a first boule as close as possible to the jack.

3 A player from team two tries to get a boule closer. If successful they ‘have the point’ and play returns to team one. If not, they continue to throw until they do and play passes back.

4 Play continues until one team has played all their boules. The other team then throws the rest of their boules.

5 The team with the closest boule to the jack wins and gets a point for each of their boules closer to the jack than the other team’s nearest boule.

6 The winning team draws a new circle round the jack and throws it to start the next round. Play ends when one team reaches 13 points.

You will find lots more fun for outdoor gatherings in our July ‘Embrace’ issue. It’s in shops now.

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The rules of Pooh Sticks

Simple and such fun: here’s how to play properly

Pooh Sticks, the game that’s made for anyone who just can’t help but pick up sticks in the forest, and is best played with a big crowd of friends, was originally invented (by Pooh himself, obviously) all alone and using pine cones. But Pooh had such larks dropping pine cones of the bridge in the Hundred Acre Wood and rushing to the other side to watch them come through, he shared it with all his friends.

If you wish to play on the actual bridge Pooh and friends used, you’ll need to head to Ashdown Forest in East Sussex, on which A.A. Milne based the books. The bridge itself is a footbridge which crosses a tributary of the Medway in Posingford Wood. It’s a lovely day out and - pro tip - if you fancy a Little Smackerel Of Something, the nearby village of Hartfield has a cafe named Pooh Corner with cakes a plenty and plenty of Milne memorabilia, too.

Pooh Corner’s owner Mike Ridley wrote a little booklet with the rules of Pooh Sticks in back in 1996 to mark the 70th anniversary of Winnie-the-Pooh. It’s rather charming and we think every spring picnic to somewhere near a river needs a copy of these rules in order to play Pooh Sticks Properly (A.A Milne capitals intended). So here they are:

First, you each select a stick and show it to your fellow competitors. You must agree which stick is which - or whose, as it were.

1. Check which way the stream is flowing. Competitors need to face the stream on the side where it runs in, under the bridge (upstream). Note: If the stream runs out, from under the bridge you are standing on the wrong side! (downstream).

2. Choose someone to be a Starter. This can be either the oldest or the youngest competitor.

3. All the competitors stand side by side facing upstream.

4. Each competitor holds their stick at arms length over the stream. The tall competitors should lower their arms to bring all the sticks to the same height over the stream as the shortest competitor's stick.

5. The starter calls, 'Ready - Steady - Go!" and all the competitors drop their sticks. Note: the stick must not be thrown into the water*.

6. At this point in the game all the players must cross to the downstream side of the bridge. Please take care - young players like to race across. Remember, other people use bridges and some of them have vehicles or horses.

7. Look over the edge of the bridge for the sticks to emerge. The owner of the first Stick to float from under the bridge, is the winner.

Remember: Falling into the water is SAD (Silly And Daft)!

*Eeyore apparently suggests dropping it ‘in a twitchy sort of way’ but we think doing so might risk disqualification.

In our March issue, which is in shops now, our Outing feature, In Search of Spring, looks more closely at Pooh Sticks (and how to win) as well as other days out for those seeking spring.

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How to win at games

Christmas: the season of goodwill, and beating your family into submission. Here are a few tips to speed you to victory. It might be Christmas but that’s no reason to go easy on Aunt Joan 

MONOPOLY
WHAT’S IT ALL ABOUT?
A timeless classic. Build a property empire... as well as family rifts that will persist for decades. 
ANALYSIS
Buy orange. In Monopoly, jail is the single most-landed-on square, because there are so many ways of arriving at it. But it’s more about leaving jail. As the most common numbers thrown with two dice are 5, 6, 7, 8 and 9, the orange properties – 6, 8 and 9 throws away – offer the steadiest revenue stream. For every 100 hits on purple or blue, you tend to get 122 on orange and red. It’s also about the amount you can extract. Add up the total required to buy all the properties and put hotels on them. Then add up the maximum rent on each. The higher the ratio of income to cost, the more attractive the set is to own. On this measure, light blue is best, followed by orange.
Then it’s time to crush your opponents. Assuming that £750 will be more than enough to bankrupt Uncle Simon after a few glasses of sherry, what is the minimum we can spend for each set of properties to achieve that? Spending £1,750 on the orange set (compared to £2,720 for green) gets you there.
Of course, this highlights that this isn’t really a perfect simulation of the capitalist market at all. Real Monopoly players have long known this, which is why a serious game will see side deals in the form of washing-up offers or promises to take the dog for a walk. Isn’t the free market wonderful?
Remember, there’s no ‘I’ in ‘team’... But there is an ‘I’ in “I’m going to whoop your backside at this boardgame even if it means we stay up all night”

CONNECT 4
WHAT’S IT ALL ABOUT?
The Ronseal of games. Drop tiles into a grid until there are four tiles in a row. 
ANALYSIS
There are 42 spaces on a Connect 4 board – seven columns by six rows. If six columns are filled, that means 36 tiles have been placed. Half are red, half are yellow. The 37th tile – the one that has to go at the bottom of the unfilled column – must therefore be filled by the player who went first. If the other player has their threat on the second row of that column, this is bad news for the first player, who is forced to facilitate their victory. Conversely, if the first player has a possibility to complete four tiles on the third row of that column, it is very good news.
This scenario happens all the time, and there is a simple way to exploit it. If you go first, ensure your threatened four in a row will be completed by putting a tile on an odd row – the third or fifth (your opponent will block a threat on the first row instantly). If you go second, ensure it’s completed by putting a tile on an even row – the second, fourth or sixth.

MUSICAL STATUES
WHAT’S IT ALL ABOUT?
Standing motionless for extended periods of time. Especially helpful if you’ve got hyperactive six-year-olds to entertain. 
ANALYSIS
Find ways to move your muscles without doing so visibly. 
Scrunch your toes to get circulation going in your feet. Or put all the weight on the left heel and right ball, then slowly shift it to the right heel and left ball. 
Dancing style is also key. Think along the lines of ‘dad dancing’, so that when the music stops, you’re in a position you can hold, rather than arms aloft doing the ‘Y’ of ‘YMCA’. 
Don’t imitate your dad’s expressions, however, as facial muscles are not used to holding a position for a long period of time. Holding a massive grin on your face is remarkably difficult.

CHARADES
WHAT’S IT ALL ABOUT?
Embarrassing yourself, through the medium of mime. Act out a cultural reference in a way that makes it obvious what it is. Best to avoid A La Recherché du Temps Perdu.
ANALYSIS
Be as simple as possible – too many movements are confusing.
A vigorous waving motion might be the universally accepted mime for “You’re really close, but not quite”, but among aficionados there exists what essentially constitutes a full sign language.
If the guess is correct, but should be in the past tense, move a hand backwards over your shoulder.
If it’s the opposite of what was guessed, hold your palms in front of you and swap your hands over.
If someone needs to be more specific, grind a fist into one palm.
Drill your team in these signs before the port arrives so they can fully appreciate your imaginative genius – even if they might not appreciate why they invited you in the first place.

QUICK FIRE TACTICS

JENGA
WHAT: Pull blocks from the tower without causing it to topple over.
HOW: To steady the tower as you remove a block, put your elbow on the table and your forearm vertically against it.

SIX DEGREES OF KEVIN BACON
WHAT: Link Kevin Bacon to any other actor, just by the films they worked on together.
HOW: Look for anchor points. John Wayne and Cary Grant will help you get to early-20th-century American cinema. Gérard Depardieu and Stellan Skarsgård help the leap to Europe; Amitabh Bachchan to Bollywood.

QUIZZES/TRIVIAL PURSUIT
WHAT: Gladiatorial combat for providing one’s social supremacy through the recall of unusual facts. 
HOW: There’s a central, inescapable truth about quizzing: it’s about knowledge. Sorry.

Adapted from How to Win Games and Beat People: defeat and demolish your family and friends! By Tom Whipple (Ebury Press)

This was first publised in our December 2017 issue. Our current December issue has a round-up of our favourite board games for this Christmas, which Competitive Claras (and Christophers) should not miss! In the shops now or buy in the clicky link below…

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Eat better service stations

Anyone who despairs of shoddy motorway service station food and the appalling provisions available in petrol stations throughout the land should know there are alternatives. And they are handily listed in the glove-box sized The Extra Mile: Delicious Alternatives to Motorway Services, which proffers motorway by motorway suggestions of off-piste cafés, tearooms, pubs, farm shops and delis around the country.

Try these for starters:
M4: The Bell at Ramsbury, Wiltshire, SN8 2PE
A Georgian era coaching inn off junction 14 of the M4, on the edge of the Marlborough Downs, The Bell offers seasonal food and drink drawn from the local Ramsbury’s estate’s own brewery, distillery and smokehouse.

M5: Court Farm Shop, Cheltenham, GL52 7RY
With a ridge of the Cotswoldian Cleeve Hills as a backdrop, Court Farm Shop started life as a roadside egg shop but has blossomed into a purveyor of local produce. Two thirds of its wares are sourced within a 30-mile radius, and the farm’s own livestock is the basis for acclaimed burgers, sausages and meatballs. A hop from junction 11.

M11: Shelford Deli, Cambs, CB22 5LZ
Off junction 11, the Shelford Cafe-Deli serves up delectable homemade sandwiches, salads, cakes, pizzas, ice-cream, coffee and much else beside – all with a contemporary twist – that have made it beloved of foodies far beyond those simply stopping by off the motorway. Its assets also include a sunlit garden with a wendy house to play in.

M6: Whale Tail Café, Lancaster, LA1 IXN
A Mecca for vegetarians and vegans, this caff, off junction 34, is famed for its meat-free breakfasts, and cakes that are ‘masterful examples of alternative baking’. Ingredients where possible are free trade and organic.

Foodie pitstops taken from The Extra Mile: Delicious Alternatives to Motorway Services by Alastair Sawday and Laura Collacott (Printslinger)

Turn to page 68 of August's The Simple Things for more detours worth making. 

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Be more there

Ask people why they travel and not many would say their goal is to skim the surface of a foreign culture and take photos to share online while answering office emails. Yet, too often that’s the reality.

Before you go away next, consider whether you could travel more slowly and mindfully and with a little more integrity. The following ideas from Sara Clemence, author of Away and Aware (Piatkus), apply to any destination and budget. They will help you become a more considerate and respectful visitor, attentive to the people you meet and the places you see, travelling in a way that leaves your heart bigger and your mind broader.

Taper off

Try to extricate yourself from the stresses of daily life a few days before your trip begins. Consume less news, change your notifications, eliminate brainless browsing time. All this will make the transition into a mindful- travel mindset easier.

Schedule naps

A siesta is one of the simplest and most powerful indulgences. Naps boost imagination and alertness, reduce stress and improve health. Build them into your daily travel schedule to help your mind process all the new experiences of a trip – and just because naps make you feel good, too.

Embrace JOMO

JOMO (Joy Of Missing Out) is way better than FOMO. It’s letting go of being in the know, enjoying real connection instead of virtual approval, and focusing on yourself instead of everyone else. To achieve a state of JOMO, you might need to let yourself be uncomfortable, but remember that you’re probably not missing anything of any actual importance. And think of the power of saying no to endless doses of affirmation. To help, consider buying a new, basic phone that only lets you perform the simplest tasks – phone calls and texts. The old made new again.

More on page 88 of August's The Simple Things, including trying a new food everyday, making a holiday resolution and taking up a hands-on hobby.

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Games for the car

No phones, no headphones and definitely no death by I-Spy: our five fun and portable pastimes can make road trips a lot more pleasurable

Pub cricket

Difficulty level: Easy

What you’ll need
A route in Britain where you’ll pass plenty of pubs.

How to play
In this British institution of a driving game, count legs on pubs to score ‘runs’. One player ‘goes in to bat’ or, in other words, looks out for pubs. At each pub passed, count the number of legs implied by the sign and score that many runs. So, ‘The Bull and Last’ would be 4 runs for the bull’s four legs, ‘The William Shakespeare’ would score 2, and ‘The Fox and Hound’ would score 8. For plurals, such as ‘The Cricketers’, assume there are two of them unless it specifies otherwise. So for this pub, you’d score 4 runs.
Pass a pub with the words ‘Arms’ or ‘Head’, you’re out!
Note down the score before play passes on to the next batsman.

Turn to page 74 of August's The Simple Things for four more car games. 
 

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Sprouts and Crackers

Challenge friends and family to join you in Sprouts and Crackers, a festive The Simple Things version of the popular board game. Bad jokes all our own work.

Download your counters now

This game was published in the December 2017 issue of The Simple Things. You can buy back issues in the Iceberg Press shop.

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Britain's outdoor games

There is little more English than a game of croquet – flamingos and hedgehogs optional. Or for an outdoor game that allows for standing about with a pastis in one had, Pétanque is your pastime

CROQUET
A cross between bowls, billiards and marquee erection, croquet is the feminist’s friend, being the first outdoor sport to allow women and men to play on an equal footing. It’s also an unusual game in that seemingly no one knows the rules, but because whacking balls through hoops with a mallet is such fun, nobody really cares. It’s a game long associated with the upper classes, and you can turn any old patch of grass into the sweeping lawn of a moneyed Victorian simply by having a friend run forward, urgently wave a piece of paper and call “Miss! News from
London, miss”. Remember, period-detail- lovers, attitudes to animal welfare were rather different in Lewis Carroll’s time and, today, use of live flamingos and hedgehogs is generally frowned upon.

PÉTANQUE
Derived from boules, a game traceable back to coin throwing in ancient Greece; Romans refined the concept to aiming at a target and the modern sport began to take shape. Pétanque itself only arrived in 1907, when rheumatic boules ace, Jules Lenoir, could no longer run and throw. Instead, he suggested this: stand inside a circle with both feet on the ground and toss hollow steel balls as close as possible to a small wooden ball, or cochonnet. In contrast to the rolled, lawn-requiring British bowls, this throwing technique makes it the ideal game if your local open space is a little on the uneven side. Indeed, gravel or hard dirt is the customary playing surface. For extra Francophone authenticity, liberally punctuate play with exclamations of “Bof!”, “Très bon!”, “Merde!”, etc.

Turn to page 71 of August’s The Simple Things for more games, including toe wrestling, ping pong and crazy golf.

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How to improve your frisbee

Give these techniques a spin to improve your summer sporting chances

There are more than 100 possible frisbee throws (see YouTube to learn a few more), so a few sessions in the park will not a pro make. These tips, however, will teach old dogs and humans alike a few new tricks.

Master your spins

Bend your wrist, then snap it quickly to give lots of spin. The more spin, the more stable it will be and the more control you’ll have on its flight.

Elbows out

Bend your elbow during your throw to add power and increase accuracy.

Do the twist

When throwing, step towards where you’re aiming, or try moving your weight from your back foot on to your front. Twist your shoulder, hips and legs through to the point of release.

Strong and stable

Stable throws are more accurate throws. Aim to keep the frisbee level and throw from just above your belly button for optimum stability.

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Rules of the game: Croquet

Cunning and competitive but with no need to break a sweat, croquet is the slow summer game

“One of the most amusing things about croquet is how everyone plays to marginally different rules,” says Joe Jaques, the eighth generation of the family who popularised the game in the 1860s (see page 64 of July's The Simple Things). At the highest level, there’s Association Croquet; Golf Croquet is easier and widely played in many clubs, and then there’s Garden Croquet, a simplified form of Association Croquet. This does have official rules, although in practice, it’s likely to be as idiosyncratic as your family. “It’s not uncommon to see a couple who have grown up playing different rules,” continues Joe. “Depending on how competitive, argumentative or well-lubricated they are makes for an endlessly entertaining game.”

So here, for the sake of argument, are the simplified rules of garden croquet, according to the World Croquet Federation (read the full rules at croquet.org.uk):

THE AIM: Two sides compete to get their balls (either red and yellow or blue and black) to the peg by hitting them through the hoops with their mallets in the order shown, right.

THE KIT: four mallets, four balls, six hoops and a peg.

THE LAWN: A croquet lawn should ideally be 17.5m x 14m with the peg in the centre and hoops laid out as shown. If your garden is smaller, simply scale this down. THE SCORING: Each hoop ‘run’ or passed through scores one point, as does hitting the final peg; so the winner will be the first side to score 14 (one point per hoop and peg per ball).

 

HOW TO PLAY: The first side strikes one of their balls towards the first hoop. If the ball clears the first hoop, you may take another shot. If not, play passes to the other side. All four balls must be played in the first four turns. After that, each side can decide which of their balls to play. If your ball hits another ball, you earn two extra shots. This is really the fun of croquet – as Joe says, “it’s as much about disadvantaging your opponent as advancing your own game.” The first of your extra shots must be taken from where the knocked ball has ended up. Place your ball so it is touching the other ball and play your shot. The second is played from where your ball ends up. 

Turn to page 62 of July's The Simple Things for more croquet.

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