Primer | Cricketing Terms

Anyone for cricket? Learn a little of the lingo so you can keep up with events on the pitch as you enjoy a cricket tea from the safety of the picnic blanket

Badger - a very enthusiastic cricketer

Baggy green - the dark green cap worn by the Australian cricket team since the early 1900s

Cafeteria bowling (aka buffet bowling) - bowling so pathetic it allows the batters to simply 'help themselves' to wickets

Castled (see also 'Yorker', below) - If you are 'skittled out' you are dismissed as batsman pretty quickly. If you are 'castled out' you are dismissed as the result of a Yorker. 

Chin Music - a bowling technique where the ball is designed to bounce and target the batsman's chin or throat

Cow corner - the part of the field between deep mid wicket and wide long on. Fielders are rarely placed there so the idea is cows could happily graze on it during the match.

Dibbly Dobbly - a bowl that is neither fast nor slow and with no special technique

DLS (Duckworth Lewis Stern) method - If rain stops play this mathematical formula determines the winner or whether the match can be played but shortened. The sum is based on analysis of past matches. 

Dolly - an incredibly easy catch that the fielder barely has to move to make.

Duck  and Golden Duck - A Duck is when the batsman is dismissed without scoring. A Golden Duck is when they are dismissed on the first ball. 

Pie chucker - a rather poor bowler whose delivery gives the ball a look of a 'pie' in the air

Yorker - A difficult ball to bat in which the ball hits the pitch close to the batter’s feet. May originate from Yorkshire or come from the (somewhat unfair, we think) 18th century term 'to pull a Yorkshire' meaning 'to deceive'. 

If all that has just got you fancying a Pimms and a cucumber sandwich, you might enjoy our ‘gathering’ feature ‘All Out For Tea’ in our June issue. It’s a menu for a cricket tea including Veggie Picnic Pie, Cucumber Skewer Sandwiches, Homemade Lemonade and much more.

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How to | Embrace a Heatwave

Image by Getty

For some of us the now almost annual week’s heatwave is the best week of the year. But for those of us who ‘don’t do well in the heat’ it might not feel like cause for celebration. But rather than simply trying to ‘beat the heat’ we’ve found a few ways to embrace it and learn to love a heatwave.

Fake a week in the tropics

If it’s going to feel like the Bahamas you might as well enjoy the benefits of a beach holiday. Set up a paddling pool or plunge pool in the garden, pop some wave sounds on your iPod, grab a trashy novel and pour inadvisable cocktails - if you pop your Martini on a stool beside the pool you can squint a bit and imagine a swim-up bar situation. Bonus points if you happen to have a palm tree in your garden. 

Shift your day earlier

Rise early and you can get your day’s activities done before the mercury goes mad. Get up with the sun, have a cool shower and find yourself at the lido or out in the park with the dog before the day is even begun. Then have a cool walk or do a few lengths and you can be leaving (smugly) well before the middle-of-the-day fools arrive. Pollen count is lower earlier in the day, too, it’s a good time of day for hay fever sufferers to get their stuff done. 

Or shift it later

Invite friends over after dark for supper in the garden, or to a park picnic. By 8pm it’s usually starting to cool down and you may even get a little breeze over your alfresco dinner. Or move your beach barbecue from lunchtime to sundown. Because sunny days are all very well but, as Sandy and Danny said in Grease, “Oh… Those summer nights!” 

Siesta

The southern Europeans know how to deal with a hot day and that’s a nice nap in the middle of things just when your brain is beginning to give up. Podcast or audio book on. Curtains closed. Starfish on the bed in very little clothing. A nap is good for your brain health and wellbeing and, after forty winks, you’ll feel ready to take on the rest of the day, but we also think the fine art of napping is one to enjoy simply for its own pleasures.

Experience summer indoors

On high summer days, it’s often cooler indoors than out, but staying inside also gives you the chance to do things you might not usually do at this time of year… Box sets, books you put down back in February, low-energy DIY projects are all ways to throw yourself into doing very little, in the way you usually do in the ‘slow’ months of winter. We tend to race around in summer, seeing people, doing things, going out. View a heatwave day as something like the opposite of a snow day and embrace the time just doing very little at home. Book a day off work and find some books, films and box sets to get stuck into. 

Do ‘cool’ cooking

Another good indoor heatwave activity is cooking that requires no oven. We’re thinking something a bit more challenging than salads here; this is about taking time to enjoy the activity rather than just flinging cold ingredients onto a plate because you can’t be bothered to cook. Chilled soups are pleasingly delicious. Try cucumber or tomato. If you’re feeling fancy, The Simple Things’ blog has a recipe for an excellent Cherry Gazpacho with Tarragon Oil that requires no cooking at all. Or you might like to make no-bake or fridge cakes so you can get your baking fix without putting the oven on. There’s a recipe for a no-bake Cheesecake that we recommend on our blog as well as a good Chocolate Fridge Cake . Swap your usual cuppa for an iced tea or coffee and sit down with a slab of fridge cake and a good book.

Soak in a cool bath 

Baths don’t have to be a steamy affair. Run a lukewarm bath and escape for an hour with a cool drink and the radio. If you’re doing your bit for a summer water shortage, you can easily make a ritual out of a ‘mini bath’ too. Soak your feet in a bowl of water with a few drops of essential oils added, or take ten minutes in the bathroom to run your wrists under the cold tap and gently splash cool water on your face and neck to feel instantly refreshed and create a ‘wellbeing break’ in a hot day. 

Head somewhere naturally cool

Eschew the beach and other sunny spots for places with plenty of shade. Churches, galleries and museums are often either naturally cool or air-conditioned. And the best bit is they’re usually quiet on hot, sunny days, too. 

Break all the rules

Record-breaking temperature days are like Christmas week - a time for throwing the norms out the window. Embrace it with ice-creams whenever you fancy, move meal times to whenever works for you and if lunch looks like a tomato salad and a slushie at 3pm that’s absolutely fine. If anyone questions your choices, look confused and say ‘Goodness, it’s this HEAT! I just can’t THINK!’ and refill your slushie.

If what you need to embrace a heatwave is a nice cool breeze wafting towards you (like the lady pictured above), you might enjoy reading our ‘looking back’ feature on fans, which we’ve called ‘A of a Flutter’, in our July issue, in shops now. You can even learn how to send coded messages with a quick flick of your fan.

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How to | Start Snorkelling

Photography by Emma and Gordon Taylor

If you’re diving in for the first time, here’s how to get started on your snorkelling adventures

• Exploring rockpools from dry land is a great way to learn about the marine environment and requires no special skills or equipment. Adding goggles or a mask and snorkel to get a closer view is the logical next step – perhaps trying a larger tidal pool, or finding a shallow, sheltered bay with no currents where you can explore in calm, waist-deep water. Relax, take a few slow, deep breaths and then lower your face into the water to enjoy those first few breaths with the snorkel.

• Remember to stay shallow while you build up your experience and confidence.

• Another great way to get started is to join an organised snorkel tour. This will introduce you to basic snorkelling skills while learning about the marine life you see. Many instructors and organisations including The Wildlife Trusts offer guided excursions.

• You can also take a formal snorkelling qualification. This will teach you how to select the correct equipment, assess a site for suitability and build a greater understanding of what it takes to be safe in the water. If you are looking to buy your own mask and snorkel do make sure it’s from a reputable manufacture since cheap, poorly-designed equipment can be dangerous.

You can read more about great places to snorkel around Britain in our feature, ‘Down Under’, in our June issue. It’s an extract from Snorkelling Britain: 100 Marine Adventures by Emma and Gordon Taylor (Wild Things). Readers can get 20%* off and free P&P with discount code SIMPLETHINGS at wildthingspublishing.com

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Books | Lighthouse Literature

We shine a light on a few of our favourite books set in lighthouses

There’s definitely something about a lighthouse that appeals to authors. Perhaps it’s the solitude and nature of life lived in a liminal space right on the edge of land. They certainly are a very visual literary trope - we all know what a lighthouse looks like, and they cut a dramatic figure on the landscape. It’s perhaps no wonder they feature in so many works of fiction. Here are a few of the most well-loved…

To The Lighthouse, Virginia Woolf

Woolf’s stream-of-consciousness novel follows the Ramsay family across several years and a trip to a lighthouse that feels like it may never come. We’ll be honest, the lighthouse trip itself is a bit underwhelming in the end, but the novel is so different to anything that had come before and is still in a league of its own. 

Annihilation, Jeff VanderMeer

This deliciously creepy novel follows four women who have been sent to investigate ‘Area X’. They are the 12th team to have been sent; the previous 11 teams either did not return or returned utterly changed. Within Area X is a lighthouse in which they find unfinished journals and signs of a struggle…

The Lighthouse, Edgar Allen Poe

If you enjoy ‘creepy’ no one does it like the master, Edgar Allen Poe. Perhaps the creepiest thing about this work of fiction is that it is unfinished; Poe died while he was writing it. The book takes the form of a ‘diary’ belonging to the solo keeper of the lighthouse, who takes enormous pleasure in his solitude. 

Lighthouse Keeping, Jeanette Winterson

Winterson’s novel is a beautiful and intriguing tale of orphan girl, Silver, who is taken in by a blind lighthouse keeper on the coast of Scotland. 

The Lighthouse, PD James

An Inspector Dalgliesh novel, which takes place on the slightly claustrophobic Combe Island, where a novelist is found dead, hanging in the renovated lighthouse. 

The Light Between Oceans, M L Stedman
A moving and poignant story about a childless lighthouse keeper and his wife on an isolated island off Australia who rescue a baby adrift at sea and raise her as their own. Years later her parentage is discovered. A proper tale of love, loss, justice and tragedy.

The Lighthouse Keeper's Lunch, Rhonda and David Armitage

One to prove that not all lighthouses are creepy… Mr Girling and his wife live in a lighthouse keeper’s cottage from which he rows out to the lighthouse each day. Mrs Girling sends his lunch over in a basket on a rope each day but have to find an ingenious way of preventing the seagulls from eating the ham sandwiches. 

The Puffin Keeper, Michael Morpurgo

A beautiful adventure for children, that begins with a shipwreck at a lighthouse and evolves into an unlikely but wonderful friendship. It’s also a homage to Allen Lane, the founder of puffin books. 

Mind the Light, Katie, Mary Louise Clifford

A historical account of 33 female lighthouse keepers. Brilliantly researched and totally fascinating. 

If you’re inspired to a lighthouse adventure of your own, don’t miss our ‘Weekend Away’ feature from our June issue in which Karen Dunn stays in a lighthouse.

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How to | Learn to Skip

Skipping is a skill worth honing: it’s fantastic exercise, you can do it anywhere and it looks pretty cool, especially if you can throw a move or two.

The basics

Get these down and it’ll feel like less effort. • Jump low: jumping too high wastes energy and stresses the joints. • Keep on the balls of the feet: avoid kicking your feet back and up as you jump (bending the knees only slightly prevents this). • Keep elbows pointing back, hands close to the body, next to your hips. • Rotate the rope with your wrists not your arms. • Keep your rope shorter: it’s more efficient. • Avoid the double jump if your aim is harder moves.

The trickier bits

Whatever feat you’re tackling, practise without the rope first to get your rhythm right. Start by jumping side to side or forwards and backwards as you skip. Then try jumping toes and heels together (the ‘wounded duck’). The enviable boxer’s skip is simply jumping from side to side (jump right, tap left, jump left, tap right). Once you’re comfortable with your feet, play with the arms: crossing and swinging the rope and the 180˚ turn. And when you get really confident, try doing it with your dog: Purin, a beagle from Japan, holds the record for ‘Most skips by a dog and a person in one minute – single rope’ managing 58 in a minute.

If you like skipping, you might like to get back into these childhood games, this bank holiday

French elastic
Grab two friends and a length of elastic and start chanting: England, Ireland, Scotland, Wales. Inside, outside, inside, ON! You can learn to do it at the Scouts’ website.

Hopscotch
All you need is a piece of chalk, a pebble and to be able to count to ten and you have yourself aan afternoon of back garden entertainment. Learn to hopscotch here.

Cat’s Cradle
Find a length of string, look up the rules and get looping with a cat’s cradle partner.

Hula-hooping
Here’s one you can do alone (and you WILL want to do it alone until you get a bit good and can show off in the park. You can find instructions on how to hula hoop on our blog.

You can find more merriment and silliness in our Miscellany pages each month.

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How hard can it be | To Maypole Dance

What do you mean you’ve never danced around a maypole? What kind of misspent youth did you have? Don’t worry; we have some simple step-by-step instructions just in time

First, catch your maypole
If you’ve access to an already-standing pole, you can skip (hop and dance) this step. Otherwise, get a pole of at least 4m (try B&Q) and attach a number of long ribbons to it. You’ll need one ribbon per dancer, of which you’ll need eight, including yourself if dancing. Are you dancing? (Response: Are you asking?) Sink your pole firmly into some soil. In front of a church looks pretty but you’ll need to work with what you have.

Start choreographing
Gather your dancers and split them into an A team and a B team. Stand them around the pole at equal intervals from alternate teams, so A, B, A, B and so on. Brook no complaints from dancers; things are about to get a lot trickier.

Go in, out, in, out (but don’t shake it all about)
Concentrate now – this is no May Day Picnic. The A team dancers should skip clockwise around the maypole and B team dancers, anticlockwise. Don’t worry, you shouldn’t collide because… Dancers should skip alternately left and then right of the dancers they pass, going ‘over, under, over, under’ with their ribbons. Still with us? Good. On an ‘over’, pass your ribbon over the dancer coming towards you. On an ‘under’ duck under the ribbon of the dancer coming towards you. If you’re untangled at the end treat yourself to a flagon of mead.

The instructions above are from our May issue’s Miscellany pages, which are packed with seasonal silliness each month.

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Crafting | How to Whittle

With a little knowhow you can make skewers for smores or even a useful extra tent peg

Whittling requires as little as a pen knife and some imagination, along with some young, fresh wood that hasn’t dried out and has fallen from the tree naturally – no chopping down branches. Pieces without knots are easier to work with, too.

While, when used with supervision, a pen knife is the best whittling tool, a vegetable peeler works well, too. You could even bring along some sandpaper to smooth your stick.

Begin by removing the bark, then cut the wood using a push stroke – this means cutting away from your body (with no fingers in the way). Never cut on your lap, always have the wood past your knees or to the side of your body for safety (and bring a first aid kit, just in case).

What you choose to whittle is up to you, but a suitable stick for toasting marshmallows, or a wand to wave around are good ways to add a little extra magic to your day out.

The instructions for whittling are taken from our May ‘Gathering’ feature, Whittle Down the Woods, which includes a menu for a late spring picnic along with ideas on things to make and do outdoors. The recipes are by Becky Cook and the photography by Will Heap.

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How to | Win at Pottery Painting

Whether you’re planning a quiet afternoon painting a mug or a get-together with a gang of friends painting plates over a few cuppas in your local pottery cafe, a blank canvas can be a bit overwhelming, especially if you’re no Van Gogh. We asked Karen Dunn, owner of ceramics cafe Creative Biscuit, for her best tips for no-fail designs - even if you struggle to draw a stick man

Patterns – If you don’t think you can draw go for patterns instead. Spots, stripes, a scalloped edge, simple shapes and patterns in bold colours always look great.

Sponges – Go full Emma Bridgewater and use shaped sponges to decorate your ceramics. As above you can use simple shapes such as circles or squares or use a shaped sponge such as a leaf or a heart. Dip the sponge in paint and make sure you fully soak up the paint to get an even print.

Tape – You can use masking tape or similar to create a pattern on ceramic, as wherever you place tape will remain white. Paint over the top and then using a pin to find the end of the tape, pull the tape off to reveal your white pattern underneath – plus the peeling is very satisfying.

Tracing – Copy a picture onto ceramic by taking your drawing or a print out of an image you would like to copy on paper and on the reverse side coat the back of the image with a soft pencil, covering the area in graphite. Next turn it over so the pencil is facing the ceramic and trace over the top of the picture with a ball point pen or similar to transfer the image to ceramic. Note: Pencil burns away in the kiln so make sure you paint everything you want to see when it comes out of the kiln.

Scratching – Like the pottery technique sgraffito, you can create scratched patterns in your underglaze paint. Make sure you put three good layers of paint on your ceramic then using a skewer or anything with a sharp tip to scratch out your pattern.

Bubble painting – A bubble pattern on ceramics looks impressive but is very easy to create. Get some washing up liquid, plus a little bit of water and a lot of the underglaze paint in the colour you wish to use and mix well. Get a straw and blow bubbles in the mixture. You can then either build up a mound of bubbles and wipe the ceramic through them or scoop bubbles with your hand and place them on the ceramic when you would like them to be.

Hand and footprints – Hand and footprints last forever when painted on ceramic and are really easy to do. Paint the hand or foot you want to print with a layer of paint – not too thick so it smudges and not too thin or you won’t see the print. Bring the ceramic to the hand or foot, then press on and off quickly. If you or your child is a bit too big for a hand or footprint, you can always do fingerprints and turn them into other things such as people or patterns.

You can find more inspiration at creativebiscuit.co.uk which is based in East London, and hear more from Karen in our My Day in Cups of Tea pages in our April issue, in shops now.

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Science | Archimedes' Principle Explained

How did Archimedes really develop his principle of displacement? Quiet at the back there. You might learn something… 

Wasn’t it something about him dashing out of a bath naked, shouting “Eureka”? Sorry, but no. Happily, the unembellished story is almost as exciting and you can feel incredibly smug the next time someone tells the ‘Eureka’ story by correcting them gently. Here’s what really happened. 

It all began when the rather suspicious-minded King Heiron II of Syracuse commissioned a crown to be made from pure gold. Characteristically, when the crown arrived, the King decided that he may have been tricked and perhaps the crown-maker had used some silver in there to make it cheaper. The King asked Archimedes to work out the truth of the matter. 

Archimedes took a mass of silver and a mass of gold, each equal in weight to that of the crown. We wish we had masses of gold and silver just hanging about the house but that’s not for here… He filled a bowl of water to the brim, put the silver mass in and measured the water displaced by it. He then repeated this with the gold. He found that the gold displaced less water than the silver, meaning the silver must be heavier. 

Next, like Poirot wrapping up an investigation, he refilled the water and put the crown in it. The crown displaced more water than the mass of gold did and the little grey cells immediately deduced that the crown must therefore contain silver as well as gold. “Eureka!”, he almost certainly did not say.

If you feel like a lovely big bath is missing from this story, you might instead enjoy our ‘My Place’ feature from April, which this month features spaces in which you can enjoy a soak in the tub. We particularly fancied a soak in the bath above, which belongs to @honeyjoyhome. 

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How to | Be More Jane Austen

This year marks the author’s 250th birthday and to celebrate we’re finding ways to live a life more Jane. Bonnets at the ready… 

1. Start your day productively

Austen rose each day and played piano before making breakfast. We’re not saying you should also sit at the pianoforte before your Weetabix, but ‘doing something’ each morning is a great way to begin a productive day. If yoga mats had been a thing then we daresay Jane might have done some sun salutations or a few stretches. Or you could simply read a few pages of a book over a cup of tea. Austen’s niece, Caroline, describes her aunt’s morning piano practice: “Aunt Jane began the day with music tho’ she had no one to teach, was never induced (as I have hear) to play in company; and none of her family cared much for it. I suppose, that she might not trouble them, she chose her practising time before breakfast when she could have the room to herself.” So there you have it, rise early and get your hobbies done and you won’t have to listen to anyone else complaining about them.

2. Get really good at cup and ball tossing

All great writers need an ‘escape’ hobby. Some go fishing, others tend their gardens… Austen got SERIOUSLY good at cup and ball tossing. Her nephew wrote in his memoir of his aunt: “Her performances with cup and ball were marvellous. The one used at Chawton was an easy one and she has been known to catch it on the point above an hundred times in succession, till her hand was weary.” We all need a niche to call our own.

3. Always sleep on it

When it comes to making big decisions, Austen learned that it was always worth sleeping on it. Two weeks before her 27th birthday, she received a proposal of marriage from Harris Bigg-Wither, a family friend. She accepted, but changed her mind overnight, breaking off the engagement 12 hours later. Probably for the best. Her niece described him as “very plain in person - awkward, and even uncouth in manner”. What a catch. Apart from anything, Pride and Prejudice by Jane Bigg-Withers just sounds all wrong. Anyway, whether you’re considering a proposal of marriage, or wondering which heritage tomatoes to plant in your allotment this year, sleep on it first. 

4. Write letters by hand

Jane was a prolific letter-writer, penning thousands of missives throughout her life, of which only around 160 survive, sadly. There’s nothing like the joy of receiving a hand-written letter, and writing them is lots of fun, too, and will make you feel very Jane Austen indeed. If you want to go all in, you could write with a goose’s quill as Jane herself did. Envelopes did not exist at the time so letters were written on a single folded sheet and then cleverly origami’d into a sort of envelope. You can find out how to do this yourself on the Jane Austen’s House website. 

5. Learn to fix everything with a good long walk

Austen described herself as a “desperate” walker and walking was very much part of her daily life; she regularly wrote of her perambulations in her letters. The importance of walking to her comes out in her characters, too. From Elizabeth Bennet to Mary Musgrove and the Dashwood sisters, walks represent freedom of mind and body as well as a useful way to pass the time, when days could drag a little. In Pride and Prejudice she writes that “A walk… was necessary to amuse their morning hours and furnish conversation for the evening.” Try to take a walk each day, even if you don’t venture too far, so that at least you can comment on the state of the new mounting blocks at Netherfield over dinner. 

6. Swap your latte for a tea and your Hobnob for a Bath Bun

Tea, being less likely to cause young men in coffee houses to revolt against the government than coffee, tends to be the choice of Austen’s characters (though coffee does make appearances) but it is known that Austen was a great Tea Lover.  As for something to take with one’s tea, Bath Buns were her favourites - little dough rolls, sprinkled with sugar, sometimes with candied peel or raisins in. The Jane Austen Literary Foundation has a good Bath Buns Recipe if your tin needs replenishing. Just serve them alongside a cuppa; we don’t believe Jane Austen was a dunker. 

7. Relish the simple things in life

Aren’t we always being encouraged to appreciate the little things in life? Austen was at it centuries before wellbein’ was ‘a thing’. She wrote in her letters of some of her glimmers, including getting her hat repaired “on which you know my principal hopes of happiness depend!” and also wrote to her sister Cassandra in great detail about the minutiae of daily life: “You know how interesting the purchase of a sponge-cake is to me.” We can get right behind the joy of a mended hat and a good sponge cake. 

If you need any more ideas for way to live a life more Jane, you might like some of the ideas on the Jane Austen’s House website for ways to celebrate 250 years since the author’s birth. We also have a very special ‘outing’ feature in our April issue. First take the quiz to discover which Bennet sister from Pride and Prejudice you are, and then find an Austen-themed day out to suit. 

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Language | Learn to speak 'Duck' abroad

Photography: Ramona Jones

If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, as they say… chances are it’s a duck. But what if you’re in another country and it DOESN’T quack like a duck at all? Animal noises must surely sound the same the world over (though who’s to say if they aren’t speaking French or Spanish at the end of the day?) But interestingly, their sounds are represented differently across the globe. Why is that? 

Language learning app, Duo Lingo has a few answers: “The language you speak shapes which sounds you hear, and how you imagine animals sounding when they make noise. So the way a language represents the noise a pig makes can tell us about what sounds exist in that language and how they form words. For example, in English, the noise a pig makes (oink!) contains the sound combination [ɔɪ], reflecting that this is an acceptable combination of sounds in English, as in the word oil. But not all languages have those two particular vowels, and even if they do, they might not be allowed to be combined that way. In Polish, the noise a pig makes is chrum, where the first sound is sort of between a "k" and a "h"—a sound that doesn't exist in English! (And maybe if we had it, we'd think pigs were saying chrum, too.)”

So that’s pigs sorted. Let’s back to ducks. We’ve done a quick sweep across the globe and translated ‘Quack quack’ into a few different languages, so when you’re next on your travels you’ll know exactly what to say if a duck greets you! 

Welsh - Cwac cwac

French - Coin coin

German - Quak quak

Danish - Rap rap

Dutch - Kwak kwak

Finnish - Kvaak kvaak

Italian - Qua qua

Ukrainian - Kakh kakh

Latvian - pēk pēk

Icelandic - Bra bra

Bulgarian - Na na

Romanian - Mac mac

Mandarin (presumably Mandarin Ducks?) - 嘎嘎 (gā gā)

We couldn’t get enough of ducks in our April issue. The cover features some very fluffy ducklings, you can meet some ducks in our ‘My Plot’ pages and our ‘Magical Creatures’ feature looks at ducks this month, too. The issue is on sale now. The ducklings above belong to Ramona Jones, whose garden features in our My Plot pages this month. Her book Growing (Ebury Press) with additional photography by Aaron Gibson, is out now.

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Wisdom | Mother Knows Best

Mothers do often seem to know best don’t they? This month, as we mark Mother’s Day, we thought we would share some wisdom from The Simple Things’ team’s own mums

“I remember when I was having a real wobble during exams and was woefully unprepared. Rather than telling me off for my lack of revision, Mum just gave me the biggest cuddle and told me that it didn't matter what results I got, the sun would still rise tomorrow and the world would still turn. Really simple, but it really resonated and was just what I needed to hear. She also used to say there was nothing a G&T and a pack of Walkers Ready Salted couldn't fix. I’d agree with that, too.”

Abbie Miller, Sub Editor

“My mum used to always say 'never go food shopping hungry', which is actually very good advice. She also told me when I was little that when you get money out of the cashpoint, a person is the other side pushing it through. I used to shout 'thank you' until I was about 10.” 

Rob Bidiss, Commercial Director

“‘Kiss the ugly frog’. That stuck with me! The idea is, if you've a load of tasks to do (in this case it was revision), start with the one you're most dreading as you'll feel relieved once it's done and the rest won't seem so bad!”

Jo Mattock, Commissioning Editor

“My favourite piece of advice my mum has ever given me is: ‘Never drink alone. If you’re on your own, pour yourself a drink and switch on The Archers, then you can have a glass of wine with everyone in The Bull!’. Genius.”

Iona Bower, Editor at Large

“My mum used  to say before I went out: 'Be good, and if you can't be good be careful'. Sound advice.”

Karen Dunn, Commissioning Editor

“My mum always said ‘everything feels better after a walk up the garden’. Whatever the problem was (tummy ache, friendships, homework) I was always told to go for a walk up the garden and it would feel better. She was right, too.” 

Rebecca Frank, Wellbeing Editor

“My mum doesn’t have just one pearl of wisdom but she does start most sentences with 'What you could do...' Among the funniest what-you-could-dos include  'what you could do is put a portable loo in your front garden rather than convert the under stair cupboard' and the time she suggested what my sister could do was combine her wedding with an event that happened the day before so she could re-use the flowers!”

Liz Boyd, Picture Editor

In our March issue, we met several women who have learned skills, passions and philosophies from their mothers, including Roisin Taylor and her mum Caroline, who passed on her passion for growing. You can read more about all the mums and their wisdom from page 56.

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How to | Improve Your Pancake Toss

Illustration by Kavel Rafferty

There’s still time to sneak in a bit of pancake day training…

Easy wins

Use a non-stick pan, and don’t add too much oil. Brad Jolly, a chef with the World Record for most tosses of a pancake in one minute (140), says you don’t want too thick a batter and should wait until air bubbles form before tossing. Shake or tap the pan to loosen, then slip the pancake towards the side before you flip.

All in the wrist

Grip the handle close to the edge of the pan. You want a flick of the wrist rather than involving your forearm, or whole arm. Gordon Ramsay says to “push away, and flip back up with your wrist.”

Employ science

Dr Mark Hadley, of Warwick University’s Physics department, estimates that to get your pancake up to half a metre in the air, you need to launch at 3m per second. Pan-handling practice Mike Cuzzacrea – who runs marathons while tossing pancakes and has over three decades of records to his name – practises daily. He uses his maple tree to judge flip height (we don’t know if maple syrup is his topping of choice). He also trains toget “the arm strength and the right technique ... I practise the movement bending up and down.”

Be inventive

Even Mike relies on more than skill. To help his pancakes survive marathons, he glues a few together and wraps them in plastic. Not something we advise if you also fancy eating them.

These instructions for improving your pancake tossing skills come from our March Miscellany pages, which are always full of topical information and seasonal silliness.

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Fun | Lost Library Books

Ever felt the burning shame of the words “I’m afraid this is overdue so… there’s a fine unfortunately…” Feel instantly better with our countdown of some of the most overdue books in British history.

• In at number five is The Adventures of Pinocchio by Carlo Collidi. Clearly the borrower learned nothing about lying well from reading the book, since he sheepishly returned it 63 years late to Rugby Library. Cleverly, he returned it during an eight-day amnesty on fines as it would have set him back more than £400 at a rate of 18p per day. 

• Climbing the ladder of shame at number four is Stanley Timber by Rupert Hughes, which was borrowed from Dunfermline Central Library. Again, during a fines amnesty during the COVID pandemic, the daughter of the dastardly borrower posted it back to the library, 73 years overdue, avoiding the £2,847 fine. 

• At number three, it’s our first school library crime. Edward Ewbank (stay behind after school please, Ewbank) borrowed The Poetry of Lord Byron from St Bees School in Cumbria  on 25 September 1911. It was returned 113 years overdue. Ewbank was sadly killed at the Battled of Ypres in 1916, so did not return the book himself, and avoided a detention. 

• Just missing out on the top spot is The Microscope and its Revelations by Willian B Carpenter, which was borrowed by Arthur Boycott of Hereford Cathedral School at some point between 1886 and 1894. In Boycott’s defence, clearly he read the book carefully as he went on to become an eminent naturalist and pathologist. His granddaughter returned the book to the school some 122-130 years later. The school generously waived the fine of £7,446. 

• And finally, at number one… a mysterious entry with no title, but known to be a German book about the Archbishop of Bremen, was borrowed by Robert Walpole from Sidney Sussex College’s library in Cambridge. It was discovered in the library of the Marquess of Cholmondley at Houghton Hall in Norfolk and returned to its rightful home between 287 and 288 years overdue. Despite not having a title of its own it is now the proud owner of the title Most Overdue Library Book in the Guinness Book of World Records. 

You can read a personal reflection on why we love a library by Frances Ambler in the February issue of The Simple Things.

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Folklore | Beira Queen of Winter

Hills and hollows, cliffs and caves have inspired folklore for generations. Here’s one tale in which the British landscape has become a character in itself…

The appropriately named Loch Awe is Scotland’s longest freshwater loch, and we have Beira, Queen of Winter, to thank for this incredible view. As well as creating mountains and using the wild Corryvreckan whirlpool near Jura as her washing machine, this giantess with blue skin and one eye also made Loch Awe by mistake. One day, after drinking from a well, she forgot to cover it again. The water overflowed and flooded the land, forming this magnificent loch. It is now home to a monster, of course – the Big Beast, who has 12 legs and looks like a gigantic eel.

You can read more about British landscapes that have inspired folk tales in our January issue feature, Scene Setting. The issue is in shops now or can be ordered from our online store.

More folk tales…

More from our January issue…

Almanac | A simple, seasonal idea for every month

We include an ‘almanac’ in every issue of The Simple Things, with a few ideas of things to note and notice, plan and do each month. We thought we would start 2025 in a similar way, with an idea for something seasonal you could do each month. We hope you like them and perhaps think up a few of your own, too…

January - Hunt for snowdrops. You may even discover a new species.

February - Light a candle to mark Candlemas.

March - Pick a clear night to try stargazing. 

April - Pack up a picnic and some outdoor games for a day in the fresh air.

May - Visit a fete or fayre. Bonus point if you bring home a coconut.

June - Host a midsummer meal for friends outdoors. 

July - Head to the coast and try rockpooling.

August - Go on a bramble ramble (blackberrying).

September - Toast bread over a bonfire for a simple supper.

October - Mark National Bookshop Day by buying a book of ghost stories to tell with friends.

November - Bake Soul Cakes for All Souls Day.

December - See some winter lights, even if it’s just in your neighbourhood streets.

The January issue is out now, and in it you’ll find lots more seasonal things to do. Buy this month's The Simple Things - buy, download or subscribe

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Fun | A Secret Christmas Day Off

Escape into your own company for a clandestine day off all to yourself

Seeing family and friends is one of the great joys of Christmas time, but the endless round of get-togethers can take its toll. Taking a day just for yourself between Christmas and New Year is an easy way to ensure you remain on top festive form, and it feels even more special when it’s a bit clandestine. 

Before you begin planning your Secret Christmas Day Off (SCDO), you’ll need to prepare the ground. If you share a home with others and are planning to spend your SCDO at home, it’s a good idea to buy the others some tickets to something they will enjoy (and preferably something you couldn’t be less interested in) so you can be sure they clear off for the day. Write something on the calendar that will fool anyone who happens to be standing in your kitchen, so when they ask you over for yet more festive drinks you can glance at it and declare “Oh, darn it! Looks like I’m doing my speed awareness course on that day. How very annoying!” (or similar). 

Now the ground is laid, the game is afoot. All that’s left is to decide what you will do with your SCDO. Chances are, you already have a list of all the things you would love to do if you ever had the chance but if not, here are ten ideas that might act as starting points.

1. Head to the coast. Blow away the Christmas cobwebs with a splash in the sea (or just a quick paddle if it feels a bit nippy and you’re not an experienced outdoor swimmer). Pack plenty of things to help you warm up after, and take a hot lunch or have chips on the beach. 

2. Read a spooky book. Christmas is traditionally a time for ghost stories and there are plenty of spooky novels that you can knock off in a day. Try a collection of MR James short stories or go trad and read Dickens’ ‘A Christmas Carol’. Draw the curtains, light the fire and enjoy being a little scared (in a good way). 

3. Have a cook up. If you didn’t have time for homemade mince pies or gingerbread before Christmas, now is your moment - and it avoids relegating the chestnuts and mincemeat to the top cupboard for another year. It’s also a brilliant way to see off any leftovers. Sprout kimchi, anyone? The freezer should be emptyish post Christmas so you’ll have plenty of space for stashing away homemade treats to make January a little fancier. 

4. Get a train to a town with an excellent cafe and some decent shops for mooching in. Bonus points if it has great charity shops too, which should be bulging with unwanted bargains at this time of year. The journey is as important as the destination here, so look for a picturesque route if possible and take a book and a flask of tea to while away the journey. 

5. Watch a box set while you cut up the Christmas cards for next year’s gift tags. You can choose whether you’re going to catch up on a series you missed out on this year or watch an old favourite… We are dusting off the BBC’s Pride and Prejudice already.

6. Visit a gallery and enjoy it at your own pace. Check what’s on and what’s open when as some will have different opening hours over Christmas, but most will be open from the 27th. You probably ought to have tea and cake in the cafe, too. That’s what we would do.

7. Have a duvet day. If ever there’s a time of year when you could really benefit from a day in bed, this is surely it. Start by getting up and showered (bear with us; this needs doing properly). Then, don nice, clean pyjamas (and maybe fresh sheets if you can muster the energy) and get back under the duvet for a day of rest. Listen to the radio or an audiobook, read, write some letters, phone a friend… do whatever you fancy to pass a few hours in a restful way. All meals should also be consumed in bed so get a tray and give your menu some thought. This is probably not the day for spaghetti Bolognese but it might well be the day for smoked salmon sarnies, posh cheese on toast and a box of chocolates. 

8. Get a Good Job done. You know those jobs that somehow never make it to the top of the list, even though you would actually really enjoy doing them? Dedicate a day to one of those. It might be bottoming your wardrobe and refolding and organising everything in it. Perhaps you’d like to make all your photos into photo books so you can always access your happy memories. Maybe you’d like to reorganise all your wools, threads and craft materials into nice, neat storage. Whatever it is, the task should be enjoyable (we aren’t talking defrosting the freezer, here). 

9. Take your senses on a day out. We all feel a bit sluggish at this time of year. Spend a day reawakening your five senses in whatever way you enjoy. Start with an aromatherapy massage, perhaps. Try out a sound bath if there’s one near you, or listen to a classical concert. Make lunch a tasting menu somewhere or go to a local vineyard for a wine tour and tasting.  

10. Have a trip down memory lane. Rediscovering your past might feel a little self-indulgent but done alone, it can be just lovely to step back in time, rekindle memories and notice how far you’ve come without feeling you’re ‘dragging anyone around’ or not having enough time to stop and stare yourself. Take a walk past your childhood home, or maybe the home where your grandparents used to live and notice how the trees have grown and the building has changed over time. Wander around your old university town or somewhere else you lived only fleetingly and see what’s new. Or simply look up an old haunt and go for lunch in a cafe you once frequented regularly, have a swim in the pool where you once had lessons or watch a film somewhere you had a first date. A day spent reconnecting with your past can feel like a few hours spent in the company of your old self. A strangely comforting thought. 

You can find more inspiration for things you could do this month in our regular ‘Could-do List’ at the front of every issue.

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How to | Do a Swimming Pool Handstand

Want to look effortlessly sporty and stylishly carefree at the same time? Here’s how to do an underwater handstand. 

Practise the following steps in secret - perhaps on early mornings at the pool - until you can do an underwater handstand with ease (and without causing alarm… or a tidal wave). Don’t be tempted to try it on land though (unless you are a gymnast or under the age of 12).

1. Choose a depth of water you feel comfortable in. Deep water will support your body more, meaning you don’t have to use as many muscles or exercise so much balance. However, the deeper the water, the harder it is to keep your hands on the pool floor. Shallower water makes it a little easier to stay on the bottom but you won’t be buoyed up by the water so much. Experiment a bit and find what suits you best but maybe start with the water about waist height.

2. Plant your feet firmly together on the floor of the pool and take a deep breath into your lungs. Hold your breath and in one, hopefully swift, movement lift your feet, bring your knees into your chest and plant your hands, palm down, where your feet were. 

3. Once your palms are firmly on the floor of the pool, steadily push your legs up into a handstand position. Once they’re there, point your toes and press your legs together (this will help you stay in position). While you’re practising, you can always ask a trusted friend to catch your legs for you.

4. When you can’t hold your breath any longer let your legs fall forward over your body and return to a standing position. Once you’ve taken a breath of air, you may shout “TA-DAAAAH!” if you wish. 

Once you’ve mastered a handstand, if you want to be REALLY fancy you might like to take inspiration from the synchronised swimmers (pictured here) that Ella Foote met for our August issue’s Modern Eccentrics page. Photography by Jonathan Cherry. 

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Puzzle | Wild Flowers

Make a cup of tea, get out the biscuit tin, then click on the link below to visit our jigsaws album and put together an online jigsaw of the beautiful image above by Ali Allen above.

The wildflowers pictured are from our feature ‘Foraged Floristry’ by Rachel de Thample from our July issue. Rachel says:

“You don’t need to spend a fortune at the florists when you can forage for local blooms in a sensitive and non-intrusive way. The art of gathering a wild bouquet grounds you in nature, finely attunes you to the unfolding seasons, all while saving money. It also means you’re not buying intensively grown flowers, which often come with pesticide and chemical residues. Summer, when the heat encourages a richer palette, more diversity and abundance, is the best time to make foraging flowers for the table a weekly ritual.

“The golden rule when foraging is to never take more than a quarter of what’s available, but with wildflowers it’s best to only pick one in twenty to ensure you leave enough to provide food and shelter for the wildlife. The Botanical Society of Britain & Ireland (bsbi.org) publishes a code of conduct for picking, collecting and photographing wild plants.”

Click the button below to do the Simple Things Wildflowers jigsaw, popping back here when you need to to view the whole image, then you can pick up the July issue to find out how to turn wildflowers from hedgerows, coastal paths and roadsides into beautiful bouquets.

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How To | Solve Crosswords

The world of crossword puzzles is a fascinating one, but if you’re coming to it as a new puzzler, it can feel like a bit of a closed shop, full of tricks and turns to catch out - or leave you defeated. Here are a few types of clues to look out for and hopefully help you on your way to some completed grids. 

Anagrams

Will include a definition of the word, the letters that form the new word, and an indicator that you’re looking for an anagram (it might say ‘out of sorts’ or ‘muddled’ or something else that suggests a rearrangement. 

Reversals

Similar to an anagram but here you’re looking for a word you simply turn backwards. So ‘Desserts turned hard’ would be ‘stressed’. Desserts is ‘stressed’ backwards and ‘hard’ indicates stress. The word ‘turned’ is a clue that you’re looking for a reversal. 

Containers

This is where the answer is hidden inside one or more word in a clue. So the answer to the clue ‘A trAGEDy to have become old’ might be ‘aged’. 

Double definitions

These clues use words that have more than one meaning and the clue references both. For example: ‘Carry a large grizzly mammal’ could be ‘bear’. 

Homophones

A clue that involves words that sound like each other but have different meanings. So a clue that reads: ‘Sounds like you’re at the tail end of the story’ might have the answer ‘tale’, meaning story but it sounds the same as ‘tail’. Indicators that you're dealing with a homophone clue are phrases such as ‘sounds like’ ‘one hears’, ‘it’s said’ and the like.

Alternating letters

The answer is found taking alternate letters from words in the clue. The Guardian gives this as an example: ‘Young person regularly reading The Beano’. The answer is ‘teen’, a young person, taking alternate letters from The Beano. Look for words that hint at ‘alternating’ such as ‘regular’, ‘periodically’, ‘odd’ or ‘even’. 

Spoonerisms

You may have heard Spoonerisms before, where the first letters of two words are switched. The Financial Times offers this example: ‘There’s a hole in the front door; Spooner wants improved Security’. The answer would be ‘letterbox’ (a hole in the front door) and a Spoonerism of ‘better locks’. These sorts of clues are easy to spot as they will almost always reference The Rev WA Spooner, after whom they are named. 

Initial letters

As you might expect, you’re looking for an acronym here. ‘Initially, furniture can’t have all its refurbishments’ would be ‘chair’. The word ‘furniture’ gives you a clue to the word and the initial letters of the rest of the clue spell out ‘chair’. Often you’ll get a hint that it’s an acronym with the word ‘initially’ or ‘firstly’. 

Deletions

Here, a letter is removed to give the answer so ‘Chicken liver starter, dish left out’ would be ‘paté’. A plate is a dish, and left out indicates a letter has been removed. Chicken liver gives a clue as to the answer. 

&Lit

An &Lit clue is shorthand for ‘& literally so’. It’s a very crosswordy thing where different types of clue are employed but also the answer is the whole clue. Here’s an example from The Times: ‘This means getting excited about start of undertaking’. The answer is ‘enthusiasm’, as described by the whole clue, but you get there by putting the words ‘this means’ around the letter ‘u’, the start of undertaking. 

In our July issue, we took a look at some of the women who made crosswords a phenomenon. You can read more about it (and try your hand at a few puzzles, too) from page 52. 

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