How to be happy

The theme for our March issue of The Simple Things is HAPPY. Free with every issue - one of four Happiness patches (find out how to get yours). Meanwhile, here are a few everyday actions that can enrich your life

Be active
Climb a hill. Or go for a walk or run. Simply stepping outside will have a positive impact. Cycle. Play a game. Garden. Dance. Exercising makes you feel good, so discover which physical activity you most enjoy and that works for your level of fitness.

Connect
Gather friends. Spend time and share good food with those around you. Think of home, work and your local community as the cornerstones of your life and invest time in developing relationships there. These connections will support and enrich you every day.

Keep learning
Make a campfire. Try something new. Rediscover an old interest. Sign up for that course. Take on a different responsibility at work. Fix a bike. Learn to play an instrument or how to cook your favourite food. Set a challenge you will enjoy achieving. Learning new things is a confidence booster – and is fun.

Take notice
Watch clouds. Be curious. Catch sight of the beautiful. Remark on the unusual. Notice the changing seasons. Savour the moment, whether you are walking to work, eating lunch or talking to friends. Be aware of the world around you and what you are feeling. Reflecting on your experiences will help you appreciate what matters to you.

What makes you happy? Come over and tell us on Facebook or Twitter. 

Plus - enter our competition! Design our fifth patch and you could win a VIP experience to The Good Life Festival 2018.

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Alternative funerals

Losing a loved one is never easy, but new ways to deal with death can help us find comfort after bereavement, some of which are explored on page 72 of February's The Simple Things. 

Alternative funerals

• Sacredstones.co.uk offers last resting places for ashes inspired by Bronze Age funeral barrows – a network of underground passages with candlelit niches set into the wall for urns – in Wiltshire and Cambridgeshire.
   
• The Natural Death Centre lists green burial sites throughout the UK, where trees and wild flowers mark resting places for bodies and ashes (naturaldeath.org.uk).
   
• DIY funerals are growing in popularity (there is no legal requirement to use a funeral service). For more information, see goodfuneralguide.co.uk, onlywithlove.co.uk and finalfling.com.
   
• Cardboard coffins are an environmentally friendly alternative to traditional versions, and can be customised with your own design or photograph. See creativecoffins.com.

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How to breathe a bit better

Learn to fill your lungs more efficiently

Check yourself

• Put one hand on your chest, the other just below the ribcage.
• Take slow, deep breaths and see which hand moves the most.
• It should be the one on your ribcage – meaning you are using your diaphragm to breathe, rather than your chest. Chest breathing makes your body stressed.

Then practise

• Get comfy on a bed or chair, with loose clothing.
• Sigh out through your mouth – it’ll relax your shoulders and neck muscles.
• Take slow, gentle deep breaths down to the bottom of your lungs. Breathe in through the nose and out through the nose and mouth.
• Slow your breath down further, checking that your ribcage is still moving more than your chest.
• Aim to practise for five minutes each day. You can also use it to relax any time you get tense.

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How to be mindful

Mindfulness - learn the basics of this super-useful sanity saver

“In bringing your attention to the breath, you’re necessarily bringing your attention to the present moment,” says Zen master Julian Daizan Skinner, author of Practical Zen (Singing Dragon). He suggests you aim for 25 minutes, starting with less and building up to that if you need to.

1 Find a comfortable sitting position and create a firm triangular base for your body. You can sit cross-legged on the floor, with your bottom on a cushion so your hips tilt forward, keeping your spine straight, or sit upright on a chair with feet firmly planted on the floor.
2 Make it your intention to sit still, but if you need to move occasionally, that’s fine. Don’t force anything.
3 You can either shut your eyes or keep your eyes gently focused on the ground in front of you.
4 Slowly bring your awareness to your breathing. Don’t try to change it, just watch it. Notice where it is in your body and bring your attention there.
5 Mentally count your breaths. In-breath: one. Out-breath: two. And so on, up to ten. Then start again at one.
6 Thoughts, worries and memories are bound to arise and that’s fine. Just notice them. Allow every moment to be exactly as it is.

Turn to page 85 of February's The Simple Things for more on our Mindfulness special. 

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Wellbeing | Good mood food

Bouts of depression prompted journalist Rachel Kelly to explore the relationship between mood and food. 

A healthy eating book that says we should eat more food. That sounds like the sort of healthy eating book that we’d all love to read. Especially when one of the foods it suggests we eat more of is dark chocolate. Its author, Times journalist turned mental health advocate Rachel Kelly, includes dark chocolate as one of her top three “good mood foods” alongside oily fish and green leafy vegetables. “We’ve got so used to hearing that certain foods are ‘bad’ and that we ‘shouldn’t’ eat things,” she says. “But food is your friend and food is on your side.”

Harnessing the nutritional power of food to boost mental wellbeing is at the heart of The Happy Kitchen, the book Rachel co-authored with her nutritional therapist Alice Mackintosh. Five years in the making, the book is her way of sharing the knowledge she has gained during her recovery from severe mental illness.

Turn to page 32 of January's The Simple Things to read more on Rachel, Alice and their work together, and download the Mood Food Checklist to ensure you're eating enough good mood foods. 

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Reading mindfully | How to quiet your butterfly mind

Book lover and academic Martyn Evans suggests ways to focus when you read

1 Switch your phone to silent or leave it in a different room.
2 Don’t rush ahead in your mind before you reach the end of a sentence.
3 To help remember what you’ve read, engage in debate and discussion. Book clubs are great for this*

• randombookclub.co.uk brings “the thrill of browsing dusty shelves to your doorstep” by delivering a monthly hand-picked book and access to an online forum of book lovers.
• Feminist book club ‘Our Shared Shelf’ is founded by actor Emma Watson in her role as UN Women Goodwill Ambassador and includes book recommendations, essays and a reader forum (goodreads.com).

4 Read with a dictionary and a pencil to hand. Look up words you’re not sure of and underline sentences that catch your attention.
5 If a book isn’t working for you, take a break and come back another time.
6 Switch genres as much as possible and keep your reading material varied.
7 Allow yourself an hour or two to get lost in a good bookshop.

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The art of cosiness

When keeping warm can be this much fun, bring on the darker, chillier days

• Although the temptation to lie in bed can feel insurmountable, a walk or yoga class or gentle jog will fire up your circulation and lift your mood. Make sure you have a good hat, warm socks and gloves – treat your extremities well and you’ll be a lot happier within.
• If the house feels chilly, wake up and bake. Kneading and mixing will quickly banish any chills and fill your home with good smells as well as warmth. 
• Make yourself a spicy soup to take to work in the week.
• And finally, get snuggling. Pets are so good for this but if you don’t have one, curl up with a hot water bottle, soft woollen blanket (or willing human).

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Wellbeing | The power of negative thinking

Worries and doubts have their up-sides. They could even help you feel happier…

Negative thoughts – worries, doubts and irritations – are like weeds. Despite our best efforts to think positive, look on the bright side, or be grateful for what we have, they still spring up. But what if the reason they are so persistent is that they serve a purpose and are even sometimes useful? According to an increasing number of experts, it’s time we stopped demonising negativity. It could help you feel happier.

Turn to page 78 of September’s The Simple Things for more on the power of negative thinking, including how to harness its power plus a fear-setting exercise.

The TED talk below explores the hard choices - what we most fear doing, asking, saying - and how they are very often exactly what we need to do. How can we overcome self-paralysis and take action? Tim Ferriss encourages us to fully envision and write down our fears in detail, in a simple but powerful exercise he calls "fear-setting." Learn more about how this practice can help you thrive in high-stress environments and separate what you can control from what you cannot.

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Think: Discover your dosha

In September's The Simple Things we meet Sebastian Pole, herbalist, tea-maker and co-founder of Pukka who turned his fascination with herbs into one of the biggest do-you-good cuppa brands, learning a few life lessons along the way. Read the interview on page 32. 

Try Pukka’s quiz to discover your dosha, designed to help you understand more about yourself, what’s good for you and what’s not. It's an amazing way to find out more about who you are and provides tips for your own personal health and happiness – including ways in which you can sleep better.

The theory behind the quiz comes from ancient wisdom that has passed down for centuries in India, through a system known as Ayurveda, which actually means ‘the art of living wisely’.

To start you have to find out what your ‘dosha’ or body-mind type is, you’ll then be able to know what helps you thrive the most; what foods to eat, what exercises are best for you and what relationship types of other body/mind types suit you best. It even gives an insight into how each different type typically responds to the need for sleep. In essence, it brings you special insight about your health, informing your choices and decisions that you make everyday.

Following the wisdom of Ayurveda there are said to be three constitutional types; “wind (vata), fire (pitta) and water (kapha). They destroy or maintain the body, according to whether they are sick or healthy.”

We all want to be healthy so that we have the best chance to enjoy and fulfil our potential in life. But excellent health seems to be such a complicated subject that it is not always easy to know how to achieve this holy grail. Although at first it might appear an alien concept, understanding your constitutional dosha goes a long way in helping you to realise your perfect health.

In Ayurveda your personal constitution is known as prakriti, which means ‘nature’, as in your inherent genetic type. Ayurveda teaches us how to find out what our constitution is by observing who we are and how we feel. And this lesson is a very simple and enriching one. As you learn what your real nature is you can live a truly authentic life – a life that suits you and allows your health to flourish.

This quiz will give you an example of your current state of health. The result you get after the test gives you an idea about how balanced your health is at the moment. You will probably be a mix of each of the dosha but it is likely that one will dominate. You have to be something. Each of the dosha have some advantages and some disadvantages. By following the recommendations appropriate for your constitution, Ayurveda can help you fulfill your potential and to be really comfortable in who you are.

So, if you feel inspired, run through the quiz questions to determine your Ayurvedic constitution...and Pukka will send you some life-changing insights every now and then that will add clarity and colour to your life.

To discover your dosha, head to the Pukka site to take the quiz...

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Think: Calm in a jiffy

Quick fixes and inner peace may seem unlikely bedfellows - but there are simple tools you can use to feel more serene

Wouldn’t it be great to be more patient, unruffled and at ease? To be able to hold onto that sense of contentment and serenity that comes over you when you experience a gorgeous sunset, a walk in the woods or a restful soak in a bath. Yet those moments of peace tend to quickly evaporate and anxiety, ever present in the background, finds a way to creep back to the surface. The good news is that becoming more serene doesn’t have to mean changing your lifestyle completely or hours of meditation or yoga. It can be as simple as practising some easy calming techniques that you can call upon in stressful circumstances or when you’re just feeling a bit ruffled. Have a go at the following micro-practices, find out what works for you and use them whenever you need an extra dose of calm.

Feed your good wolf

You may have heard the old Native American parable about the two wolves fighting inside of us all. There’s the wolf of fear and hate and the wolf of love and compassion, and whichever wolf we feed will win the fight. Most people are incredibly hard on themselves both in their thoughts (self-criticism) and behaviour (destructive and self-sabotaging). Yet if we are kind and compassionate to ourselves and feed our good wolf, we develop the ability to have compassion for others.

Try the 4-7-8 breath

This is an ancient breathing technique that restores and recalibrates the central nervous system. The combination of a short inhale followed by a twice-as-long exhale has an immediate effect on the parasympathetic nervous system, putting the brakes on your stress response.
1 Inhale to the count of 4.
2 Hold your breath to the count of 7.
3 Exhale through your mouth as if blowing through a straw to the count of 8.
4 Repeat cycle twice more.
5 Do three cycles in the morning and the evening for a calmer, less reactive disposition.

Consult your inner wise woman

Imagine if you could consult your future self for advice or counsel? Perhaps your 98-year-old self, even now, has some wisdom to impart to you.
1 Close your eyes and imagine yourself at the age of 98.
2 Formulate a question or a concern that you’d like to ask your inner wise woman.
3 Imagine your older, wiser self conversing with your current self – you could even have her write you a letter if that makes it easier.
4 See if a wider perspective shifts your current perception of what’s going on today.

Turn to page 86 of April's The Simple Things for more suggestions, including how to embrace change, giving morning thanks, armchair travel, sitting in child’s pose, carrying a talisman, 
and the butterfly hug technique.

Taken from The Little Book of Inner Peace: Simple Practices for Less Angst, More Calm by Ashley Davis Bush (Octopus)

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Choosing a dog

They can eat into your time and money and test your patience, but loving your dog keeps you happy. If you're thinking about getting a dog, have a read through our list of things to consider first.

1. Can you put in the time?

Dogs bring with them many benefits, but you need to be able to put in the time to really get the most from your pet. Dogs can get distressed if left alone for too long, and require regular walks, but aside from this they need plenty of play time.

If you can't commit to daily interaction with your dog, perhaps consider less demanding pets such as fish, hamsters or guinea pigs.

2. Can you afford the cost?

Make sure you can afford the costs associated with keeping dogs. Not just food, leads, collars and toys, but also veterinary fees and pet insurance. It can be an expensive hobby.

3. Is your home dog-friendly?

A small flat without outdoor space may not be quite right for larger dogs, but you can usually get around most issues with a bit of clever thinking. Access to parks and large open spaces could be the answer to your dog's needs, but do consider the size of your home and how happy pets will be living there.

Also think about proximity to neighbours, who could become annoyed if your dog howls for you when you're at work.

4. Do you go on holiday frequently?

If you do, consider a dog that can travel with you, or that will be happy boarding at kennels in your absence or staying with friends. The best thing about a pet is the bond you have with your animal, so make sure your lifestyle doesn't impact on this relationship.

5. Do you suffer from allergies?

Double check which breeds are most likely to trigger allergies or asthma in anyone living in your house. Spend some time with friends and their dogs to see whether you react badly to fur or dander.

6. Have you thought about the commitment required?

Owning a dog is a lifetime commitment. Although you can't be sure what might be around the corner, it's important to enter into dog ownership giving it the full thought required, taking into consideration how your life might change in the future.

Crufts 2017 takes place from 9–12 March at The NEC Birmingham and you can watch it on Channel 4 and More 4. 

More info at crufts.org.uk

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Think: The gift of goodwill

Giving and doing good helps others while making you a happier person too. but only if you do it for the right reasons

December's The Simple Things looks at how giving can be good for you, as well as your cause. Or read on for a quick guide to being kind.

Altruistic could-do list

Show kindness
Give unwanted warm clothes to a homeless person, offer the toys/bike you were going to put on Ebay to a family who might appreciate some help this Christmas.

The Salvation Army, for example, runs a Christmas Present Appeal, salvationarmy.org.uk. 

Donate
Many of us have a cause that’s close to our hearts, but if you want to donate to charity and feel bewildered by the choice of worthy recipients, GiveWell (givewell.org) is an independent evaluator that rates charities in terms of lives saved or improved.

Volunteer
Type your postcode in to do-it.org, a national volunteering database, to find opportunities in your community, from dog-walking to admin.

Be neighbourly 
More than one million elderly people in the UK regularly go a whole month without speaking to anyone. If you don’t know a person who needs befriending, ageuk.org.uk can put you in touch.

Turn to page 90 of December’s The Simple Things for more.
 

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Wellbeing: How to lucid dream

Lucid dreaming enables you to be the director and star of your own dreams. Think of it as a mindful and life-enriching way to sleep

How often have you woken up, groggy from sleep, unsettled by a dream that is rapidly drifting from your memory? During the night your consciousness has produced images and sensations that may have been pleasurable but could just as easily have been disturbing. Whichever it is, these dreams are mysterious and intriguing but out-of-reach.

What would it be like, then, to be able to control your dreams and instead of passively being caught up in them, to direct them according to your own whims? You could explore new countries, fly over your neighbourhood or into space, defeat enemies, return to a favourite haunt, or even engage in something intimate with a favoured person.

This ability to consciously observe and direct your dreams is called lucid dreaming and is, according to Charlie Morley, co-creator of Mindfulness of Dream and Sleep (a holistic approach to lucid dreaming), a state available to all of us. “It’s safe and natural, not spooky or paranormal, and you can wake yourself up any time you want,” he says.

“Lucid dreaming means that you are consciously aware that you are in the dream as you are dreaming. You may be snoring, fast asleep, but part of your mind has woken up and is thinking: ‘I’m dreaming’. Everything you see, hear, taste, smell is as authentic as real life. It’s super-cool.”

Turn to page 84 of November’s The Simple Things for more on lucid dreaming, or read on for five pointers on how to lucid dream.

Sort out your bedroom
Looking at electronic devices or the TV is not compatible with a good night’s sleep. Restrict all of that to the living room, and clear your head instead. Then your bed will become a platform to launch you into a calm, uncluttered dream state.

Keep a dream diary
This is easier said than done when the urge to drift back to sleep or propel yourself into the day kicks in, but it is vital to enable lucid dreams. As soon as you wake up, write down everything you remember in as much detail as you can. This alerts you to ‘dream signs’ – situations which only happen in dreams, patterns and repeated images.

Ask yourself, “Am I awake?”
Hold your nose and attempt to breathe. If you can’t, you are awake. If you can, you are dreaming. This ‘reality check’ alerts you to the fact that you are in a lucid dream, and allows you to control it.

Incubate a dream
Tell yourself what you’d like to dream and picture it in your imagination before you fall asleep. There’s a greater chance then that it will manifest.

Disrupt your night’s sleep
This is for the hard-core would-be lucid dreamers. Go to bed at 10.30pm, then set the alarm to wake you at 4.30am and 6.30am. Each time, record your dreams before returning to sleep. This will give you more opportunities to lucid dream.

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Wellbeing: How to embrace idleness

We're afraid of having nothing to do, but being bored is no bad thing - we've just forgotten how to do it properly and how liberating it can be... 

Rachael Oakden explores The Lost Art of Boredom on page 86 of August's The Simple Things. Meanwhile, read her tips on how to embrace idleness.

• Leave your emails unchecked next time you’re waiting in a café. Sit and smell the coffee instead (it worked for J.K. Rowling).
• Go for a walk. Boredom novices find it hard to sit still and stare into space. Repetitive, mindless exercise, such as walking or swimming, leaves your mind free to wander while satisfying your guilt-prone conscience.
• Visit green spaces. The sights, sounds and sensations of the natural world are gentle distractions that encourage the mind to go walkabout.
• Embrace screen-free Sundays. Disconnect from all electronic media for one day a week and reconnect with your inner and outer worlds.
• Listen to your boredom. Is it telling you that you’re unhappy in your job or lifestyle? Research shows that boredom can motivate us to become more altruistic and engage in pro-social behaviour, such as volunteering or donating blood.
   

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Wellbeing: Finding everyday silence

Taking time for quiet doesn’t mean taking a vow of silence or sitting alone on a mountain (though those can work, too). Here are some tips for peaceful living...

l In conversation, don’t just prepare what you’re going to say next. Pay attention to the other person and speak into the spaces. Don’t be afraid of pauses in conversation.

l During moments of waiting, don’t immediately reach for your phone or book. Take a few minutes just to observe what’s going on around you.

l Allocate areas in your home for space, where little is displayed. A blank wall painted in a calming colour; a shelf with just one item on it. This helps promote a sense of quiet calm. 

l Enjoy quiet time together. Instead of turning on the TV or music, spend some time with your family reading, or doing the crossword, a jigsaw or another quiet activity.

Turn to page 96 of March’s The Simple Things to read Loma-Ann Marks’ feature on how to seek out peace in a busy, loud world.

Read more:

From the March issue

Why being alone can be good for you

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The essential winter beach kit

Inspired by our February issue, in which Clare Gogerty takes us on an exhilarating journey to some of our finest winter beaches, our shopkeeper, Louise Gorrod, has compiled the essential The Stuff of Life winter beach kit for those wishing to head coastal and blow away those late winter cobwebs. 

Warm layers, wellington boots, waterproof coats and bags, a packed lunch to feast on and your own portable tea making facility will set you up nicely for such an adventure.

For those not willing to brave the sand and shingle quite so early in the year, there are some great coastal inspired homewares and stationery products on the shop too. Don't forget to send us a postcard!

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Images from top, left to right: Seasalt tea towel by Ulster Weavers, £6.50 | Oilcloth bag by Ulster Weavers, £19.00 | Organic print sweatshirt by Lost Shapes, £32.00 | Wellington Boots by Story Horse, £35.00 | Raincoat by Story Horse, £40.00 | Yay! lunchbox by Quince Living, £7.50 | Ghillie Kettle by The Glam Camping Company, £47.50 | Pack away bucket by The Glam Camping Company, £19.95 | Set of coastal greeting cards by Alfie’s Studio, £8.00

Wellbeing: Be a better list-maker

Lists aren’t just for crossing off chores. Writing down your hopes and feelings is a powerful way to create a life you love. 

The arrival of autumn brings the irresistible urge to start again. Before you make a list of the things you need to do or change, consider that a new approach to list- making might be what you really need. Most of us use lists, even if it’s just for food shopping or when extra busy at work – but a list can have many more uses than just a physical reminder for you of what you need to do. 

Turn to page 86 of September’s The Simple Things to read Anna Hewitt’s guide to making lists. Or tick off the following tips to becoming a better list-maker.

1 Remember that how you want to feel is as important as what you want to accomplish.
2 In everyday to-do lists, include tasks that you enjoy, like going for a bike ride or meeting a friend.
3 Don’t be afraid to share your list with others for their perspective, feedback, and encouragement.
4 Be creative. Use colour, pictures, or a unique design to make your lists feel more interesting and appealing.
5 Boost your happiness regularly by making a list of three things you are grateful for each day.
6 At the end of each day choose one to three things that you will work on tomorrow – and let go of the rest.

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From the September issue

Wellbeing posts

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Wellbeing: Fatherhood

In June's The Simple Things, Sally Brown's piece on fatherhood explores just how important dads can be in the life of a child.

As it's Father's Day in the UK, we've put together a selection of our favourite books, films and songs featuring fathers. 

Mrs Doubtfire (1993)

How far would an ordinary father go to spend more time with his children? Daniel Hillard (Robin Williams) is no ordinary father, so when he learns his ex-wife needs a housekeeper, he applies for the job. With the perfect wig, a little makeup and a dress for all occasions, he becomes Mrs. Doubtfire, a devoted British nanny who is hired on the spot. Free to be the "woman" he never knew he could be, the disguised Daniel creates a whole new life with his entire family.

My Dad by Anthony Browne

He's all right, my dad. He's as strong as a gorilla and as happy as a hippopotamus. He's a great dancer, a brilliant singer,he's fantastic at football and he makes me laugh. A lot. But that's not all that's great about my dad . . . A warm, hilarious, witty and very personal tribute to Dad (and to dads everywhere) by the ever-brilliant and inventive Anthony Browne.

Life is Beautiful (1997)

Life Is Beautiful is a 1997 Italian tragicomedy comedy-drama film directed by and starring Roberto Benigni. Benigni plays Guido Orefice, a Jewish Italian book shop owner, who must employ his fertile imagination to shield his son from the horrors of internment in a Nazi concentration camp. 

Big Fish (2003)

The story of Big Fish revolves around a dying father and his son, who is trying to learn more about his dad by piecing together the stories he has gathered over the years. The son winds up re-creating his father's elusive life in a series of legends and myths inspired by the few facts he knows. Through these tales, the son begins to understand his father's great feats and his great failings.

To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee

Atticus Finch, small town lawyer and widower, is arguably fiction’s greatest father. Atticus parents his ten-year-old son Jem and his younger sister, Scout, six, with a calm and approachable demeanour. For a man in the 1930s American South, he is a progressive. He’s against spanking, never yells, and gives his children truthful answers to difficult questions. Most importantly, for his parenting philosophy and the plot of the novel, Atticus models the behaviour he wants to see in his children.

Kramer vs Kramer (1979)

Ted Kramer (Dustin Hoffman) is a workaholic advertising executive who has just been assigned a new and very important account. Ted arrives home and shares the good news with his wife Joanna (Meryl Streep) only to find that she is leaving him. Saying that she needs to find herself, she leaves Ted to raise their son Billy (Justin Henry) by himself. Ted and Billy initially resent one another as Ted no longer has time to carry his increased workload and Billy misses his mother's love and attention. After months of unrest, Ted and Billy learn to cope and gradually bond as father and son.

Danny the Champion of the World by Roald Dahl

Danny is only four months old when his mother dies; and at the beginning of the story, he lives with his widowed father, William, in a Gypsy caravan, where William operates a filling station and garage, and partakes in poaching pheasants. Danny thinks his dad is the most marvellous and exciting father a boy could wish for. 

Compiled by Lottie Storey

Quiet: The power of introverts

Sometimes, you might think, it’s all very well trying to be mindful and appreciate the simple things… but the world around you doesn’t always seem to keep pace with what your heart or mind is telling you. If you’re a quiet person, at times the world can seem overwhelmingly loud and fast-paced, and your own contribution to it under-valued by the assertive, confident types around you.

Susan Cain has made the case for introverts in her world-famous book Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can’t Stop Talking, and through a TED talk that has had over 11 million views on YouTube.

If you identified with our feature in the May issue on being an introvert, or if you aren’t sure whether or not this is you, why not take a quiz at Susan’s site www.thepowerofintroverts.com, which also has forums, reading guides and everything you need to explore and understand your more contemplative qualities.

THREE WAYS TO APPRECIATE BEING QUIET

READ… The Highly Sensitive Person ­– How to Thrive when the World Overwhelms You by Elaine N. Aron – practical solutions for a happy and fulfilling life, including useful material for those raising a sensitive child.

GO… Get away from the chatter with a silent retreat at Gaia House in the south Devon countryside. An opportunity to reflect through meditation and mindfulness practice.  

THINK… Andrew Johnson’s downloadable recordings offer a wide range of meditations to help you cope with all life’s challenges.

By Catherine Smith 

Wellbeing: Why alone can be good for you

Choosing to spend time by yourself can boost everything from self-awareness to happiness.

Alone but not lonely: Zoe McDonald explores the merits of solitary alignment on page 78 of February’s The Simple Things. “The deep focus you need to build and hone an idea comes from the ‘slow mind’. Time alone is crucial to allow ourselves space”, she says.

Not used to being on your own? Have a read through these suggestions from David Waters’ How to Spend Time Alone class. 
 

SOLITUDE FOR BEGINNERS

Ease yourself in. Try going for a walk by yourself and gradually be in your own company for longer and longer periods before embarking on a long stint such as a weekend alone.

Be prepared for anything. When you first start to connect to who you really are, you may be surprised by what you find.

Find ‘flow’ activities for your alone time such as reading, exercise, craftmaking or making music. l Don’t panic if at first you find spending time alone feels disorientating or even frightening. Take a step back and do a little less alone time until you feel comfortable again.

Alone time gives you the chance to discover what lies behind your public self – your authentic or true self. Be patient and let this emerge.

Intrigued? We’d also recommend a read of How to be Alone by Sara Maitland, published by the wonderful School of Life.

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