There is a moment at every Christmas lunch when the paper hat is unfolded from
a cracker and plonked on the head. These crown shaped hats are peculiarly British and are said to either date back to Roman Saturnalia celebrations, or Twelfth Night knees-ups as a nod to the king or queen, depending on which source you believe. Whatever their provenance, these hats that suit no one are best worn without self-consciousness and endured until the turkey arrives, when they can be ‘accidentally’ brushed off and swept under the table.

Six awful cracker jokes

How do you drain your sprouts at Christmas?
With an advent colander.

Who hides in a bakery at Christmas?
A mince spy.

What do vampires put on their turkey?
Gravey.

Why did the turkey decide to join the band?
Because it had drumsticks.

What's the best thing to put in a Christmas pudding?
Your teeth.

What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
Can you smell carrot?