Find your natural strength

Treating resilience not as an innate quality, but as a skill to be practised and nurtured, allows you to make lemonade whenever life throws you lemons

The Finnish word sisu refers to a mix of courage, resilience, grit and ‘guts’. In her new book Sisu: The Finnish Art of Courage (Gaia), Joanna Nylund explains how the Finns’ close connection with the weather and nature has played a crucial role in forging the resilient nature of the people. “Living in Finland means living with sharp contrasts,” she says. “It is the extremes that rule our lives – from gritting our teeth and summoning our sisu at the approach of winter to celebrating the eagerly anticipated summer with a devotion to the sun that most closely resembles Celtic worship.”

After that long, hard winter, the Finns’ summer ritual is more about celebrating discomfort than luxury hotels or even glamping. In late June, the country collectively withdraws from everyday life and heads out into nature, spending a few weeks in a mökki (summer cabin). The cabin will have a fireplace and cooking facilities, but rarely central heating – and sometimes no electricity or running water.

“Squatting by the lake to wash your dishes in cold water is so romantic!” says Nylund, who explains how their ancestors grew resilient through hardship. “We are modern people living in a modern world, but at heart we are still rural, and we love our sometimes harsh environment. It has given us our sisu.”

Nature is grounding, it teaches self-sufficiency and spending time in it boosts self-esteem. You don’t have to spend four weeks in a cabin – start by spending a bit of time outdoors every day, read and learn a little about the nature around you, dabble in being more self-sufficient by growing a few veg or salad leaves in your garden, spend a night under canvas, and go from there.

Turn to page 92 of May's The Simple Things for more of our feature on How to bounce back.
 

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Processions | 100 years of votes for women

On 10 June walk to mark 100 years of votes for women. With handmade banners and wearing the suffragette colours of green, white and violet, marchers will form a river of colour through London, Cardiff, Belfast and Edinburgh. Details at processions.co.uk

PROCESSIONS is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to take part in a mass participation artwork to celebrate one hundred years of votes for women. In 1918, the Representation of the People Act gave the first British women the right to vote and stand for public office. One hundred years on, we are inviting women* and girls across the UK to come and mark this historic moment as part of a living portrait of women in the 21st century.

On Sunday 10th of June, women and girls in Belfast, Cardiff, Edinburgh and London will walk together as part of this celebratory mass participation artwork. Wearing either green, white or violet, the colours of the suffrage movement, the PROCESSIONS will appear as a flowing river of colour through the city streets.

One hundred women artists are being commissioned to work with organisations and communities across the UK to create one hundred centenary banners for PROCESSIONS as part of an extensive public programme of creative workshops.

Sign up: processions.co.uk

DON'T MISS: Next month, we look at why women march, plus how to make your own banner or pennant. All in the June issue (on sale 30 May).

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Being boring

There's much more to boredom than watching paint dry, says aficionado of the dull, James Ward

Boringness is easy to embrace. Slow down. Read Species of Spaces by George Perec. Go for a walk without a destination. Write things down. Don’t start with an end goal in mind, just see where things take you. Once you’ve landed on something, go and read the Wikipedia page about it. Then look at what else the people who edited that page also edited and read those, and so on. Before you know it, it’s three weeks later and you’re obsessed with something you didn’t even know existed at the start of the month.

When you’re on train or a bus, everyone is in a cocoon staring at their phone. I’m loath to be judgmental about people’s relationship with technology. Someone could be playing Sudoku, the person next to them could be reading the New York Times, or a new novel. Someone might be listening to a podcast about wooden palettes or emailing their best friend on the other side of the world. What we do need sometimes is time out from the constant updates and notifications. This is what stops you exploring. Having a day off from that is good.

I always say about Boring, that “nothing of any importance will be discussed”. The conference is a day away from people’s hot takes, where things are just a little bit smaller.

Turn to page 92 of April's The Simple Things for more from James Ward and his Boring Conference.

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Listen | Music for train journeys

Choo, choo! Get your ticket and climb on board

Listen to our train journey playlist now.

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What I treasure | My kayak

My kayak is a bright, cerulean blue, and sturdy, with smooth, solid curves. When I see photos of me in it, I look different, somehow – alone, strong, adventurous. This person, paddle slicing through glassy water, is free. She can take off on a whim, cope with whatever is thrown at her, and is always on the cusp of discovering something new – a hidden cove, a shoal of darting mackerel, a secret house only glimpsed from the sea. This person knows exactly where she is going, isn’t lost in the day to day.

My husband bought it for me after a hospital stay. Me, clock-watching as his 30-minute operation became four hours, words muttered about haemorrhaging, cauterising, complications. When he finally emerged, he still wasn’t well. I remember the nurse’s flushed face, the young doctor’s shaking hand as it dawned things weren’t quite going to plan. I’d never faced death like that, right in the eye. What scared me was how lonely it was – my husband was the one I turned to in a crisis, but this time the crisis was him. My stomach dipped as I thought about our two young daughters. What would I tell them?

But he made it through, and after, there was a freedom about him – something loose,
untethered. We did the things we’d only talked about before, dreams we’d squirrelled away inside our heads – took the risky job, adopted the kitten my daughter wanted (not just one but two), bought the kayak I’d been coveting.

There’s something primal about paddling. It feels ancient, the rhythm of it. I’m part of the water, literally feeling it, its movements, as it resists the paddle stroke by stroke. So low on the water, without the grumble or whine of a motor – the birds mistake me for one of them. They arc through the sky, or sit perched on a nearby rock, feathers slick with water. Cormorants dive headfirst into the waves right in front of me, reappear a minute later, black heads gleaming.

I chart the changing seasons from the water, and I’ve learnt that the sea has its own topography. I now know where the rocks are, crusty with barnacles, just jutting out of the water, and where the beds of sea grass hide, the swathes of seaweed – gelatinous green ropes and brown fern-like growths that loop around the paddle.

I can’t wait to show my daughters this world, but I’ll still kayak alone – remembering why we bought it, to become the person I am inside my head.

We’d like to know what you treasure - whether it’s a sentimental artefact, a person, a place or something else. Tell us in 500 words what means a lot to you - email thesimplethings@icebergpress.co.uk

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What I treasure | My hand-written recipe book

Among my collection of recipe books is a special one with a plain, blue cover. It’s filled as much with unforgettable moments as it is with edible delights. Whenever I flick through its pages, I find myself back in 1986. I’m 17 and living with a family in Belgrade in what is now Serbia. At that time, it was the capital of the ‘non-aligned socialist republic’ of Yugoslavia: neither Western nor fully behind the ‘Iron Curtain’.

My strongest memory is of sitting at the table in the hallway that doubled as a dining room in my host family’s flat, noting down recipes in my notebook. Most were ones my host mother, Marija, taught me to cook. We had little shared language and cookery was an activity we could do together without words. Weighing, chopping, stirring, and rolling could all be done by watching or gesturing to each other.

I wrote down some of the recipes in English, others in Serbo-Croatian, occasionally a mix of the two. Many only detail rough quantities: three cups of flour, two cups of sugar, one of oil and large amounts of eggs (10 or 12 is not unusual). There are smudges and stains showing where ingredients strayed onto the page.

Marija’s cooking was different from what I knew from home, restricted by shortages imposed by a communist state. Food was strictly seasonal and local. Special dishes stood out because they were a rare treat.

On birthdays and important holidays, Marija would spend hours making cakes or savoury bakes from scratch. Filo-pastry filled with spicy ground meat or salty cheese; a strawberry cake with whipped cream that will forever be the best I’ve tasted; and plum dumplings so juicy that they burst in my mouth at first bite.

I still make these dishes, and just looking at the list of ingredients sends me back to a specific moment in time. The little chocolate, cream-filled išleri biscuits Marija made for my 18th birthday. The cinnamon-scented apple cake she baked to celebrate her son’s return from military service. The simple delight of a pile of pancakes filled with rosehip jam on a cold winter’s night.

I treasure my recipe book for many reasons – for the memories it contains and the fact that, woven into every page, are recipes for a good life as well as fabulous food.

We’d like to know what you treasure - whether it’s a sentimental artefact, a person, a place or something else. Tell us in 500 words what means a lot to you - email thesimplethings@icebergpress.co.uk

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History of the t-shirt

The t-shirt evolved from 19th-century underwear. Light, well fitted and easily washed, it became popular as a bottom layer of clothing for workers and those in the armed forces, and made its first written appearance in 1920, in F Scott Fitzgerald’s debut novel, This Side of Paradise. The first printed t-shirt ever worn publicly is believed to be an Air Corps Gunnery School t-shirt, which appeared on the cover of LIFE magazine in 1942. While in 1938, an American marketing campaign argued that “you don’t need to be a soldier to have your own personal t-shirt”, the style really took off thanks to film appearances on Marlon Brando in A Streetcar Named Desire (1951) and James Dean in 1955’s Rebel Without a Cause. They’ve been worn by everyone, from heartthrobs to more normal types since.

Turn to page 80 of the March issue for more on the T-shirt and how much it says about who we are, what we believe and where we belong. 

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Listen | Songs from the movies

Our favourite songs from the movies.

Listen to our movie soundtrack playlist now.

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How to be happy

The theme for our March issue of The Simple Things is HAPPY. Free with every issue - one of four Happiness patches (find out how to get yours). Meanwhile, here are a few everyday actions that can enrich your life

Be active
Climb a hill. Or go for a walk or run. Simply stepping outside will have a positive impact. Cycle. Play a game. Garden. Dance. Exercising makes you feel good, so discover which physical activity you most enjoy and that works for your level of fitness.

Connect
Gather friends. Spend time and share good food with those around you. Think of home, work and your local community as the cornerstones of your life and invest time in developing relationships there. These connections will support and enrich you every day.

Keep learning
Make a campfire. Try something new. Rediscover an old interest. Sign up for that course. Take on a different responsibility at work. Fix a bike. Learn to play an instrument or how to cook your favourite food. Set a challenge you will enjoy achieving. Learning new things is a confidence booster – and is fun.

Take notice
Watch clouds. Be curious. Catch sight of the beautiful. Remark on the unusual. Notice the changing seasons. Savour the moment, whether you are walking to work, eating lunch or talking to friends. Be aware of the world around you and what you are feeling. Reflecting on your experiences will help you appreciate what matters to you.

What makes you happy? Come over and tell us on Facebook or Twitter. 

Plus - enter our competition! Design our fifth patch and you could win a VIP experience to The Good Life Festival 2018.

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A reading list for March

Books to make you literally (and literarily) LOL. As loved by The Simple Things team

How Hard Can It Be? by Allison Pearson
An about-to-be-50 mother juggles her return to work with teenagers, ageing parents and hormonal hell.

Nomad by Alan Partridge
Steve Coogan’s creation travels in the footsteps of his father to Dungeness power station while trying to secure a TV series.

Love, Nina by Nina Stibbes
The (real) letters written by a nanny to her sister as she’s plunged into the midst of the London literati in the 1980s. Even more hilarious for being true.

Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris
A series of essays following Sedaris’ attempt to learn French after moving from New York to Paris.

What would you add? Come over and tell us on Facebook or Twitter. 

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Journal sparks | Word Jar

This is one of the simplest yet most fruitful and rewarding journal prompts, because it’s uncomplicated and never fails to inspire, sitting on your shelf or desk, always available for spontaneous creativity.

Find a glass jar in the recycling bin or buy an inexpensive one. Fill it with random words. Leave trimmed paper and a pen next to it as a standing invitation to friends, family and visitors to contribute words.

Instant inspiration

Choose a word or a few words from the jar and write them on a journal page. Draw a sketch based on the word(s) or incorporate them into a small piece of writing – a poem, a blurb, the beginning of a story or a speech bubble. When you’re finished, add a new word to the jar.

Turn to page 77 of February's The Simple Things for another Journal Sparks idea: Picture your day in geological layers.

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The faces of Fairtrade

It’s Fairtrade Fortnight from 26 February, a time to reflect on how you could do more to support growers, farmers and producers in developing countries.

The message for this year’s campaign is “come on in”, encouraging people to open their doors and minds to Fairtrade. Women produce 80% of the world’s food and Fairtrade acts to ensure female farmers get the same opportunities and rights as their male counterparts.

Ivania Calderón Peralta is a single mother of five and organic coffee farmer in Nicaragua who works for a cooperative that supplies beans to Café Direct. “Before, women didn’t have the freedom to participate in the decision-making processes,” she says. “Now, we have managerial responsibilities and different roles and, thanks to training funded by Faitrade, women can make progress.” The work of the foundation spans industries from food to fashion to technology. The first Fairtrade African Gold from Uganda launched in the UK last year and food products bearing the Fairtrade logo are being introduced all the time. 

Find out more about Fairtrade Fortnight at fairtrade.org.uk.

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Alternative funerals

Losing a loved one is never easy, but new ways to deal with death can help us find comfort after bereavement, some of which are explored on page 72 of February's The Simple Things. 

Alternative funerals

• Sacredstones.co.uk offers last resting places for ashes inspired by Bronze Age funeral barrows – a network of underground passages with candlelit niches set into the wall for urns – in Wiltshire and Cambridgeshire.
   
• The Natural Death Centre lists green burial sites throughout the UK, where trees and wild flowers mark resting places for bodies and ashes (naturaldeath.org.uk).
   
• DIY funerals are growing in popularity (there is no legal requirement to use a funeral service). For more information, see goodfuneralguide.co.uk, onlywithlove.co.uk and finalfling.com.
   
• Cardboard coffins are an environmentally friendly alternative to traditional versions, and can be customised with your own design or photograph. See creativecoffins.com.

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Listen | Spring cleaning songs

Put a spring in your step and a duster in your hand.

Listen to our spring cleaning playlist now.

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What I treasure | My Spode Mug

My mug has kept me company for almost a decade, gifted towards the end of a friendship that would inevitably decant, leaving only the gritty sediment swirling in the bottom, hard to digest. It’s a memento of the surreal; a whirlwind romance, a move across oceans, an incapacitating illness and a slow recovery as everything else fell apart. It’s a reminder of simple kindnesses, of which there were many, in a place without the familiar, a talisman from another life.
It’s been half empty and half full. It’s caught tears and echoed laughter. I’ve cradled it delicately and been tempted to hurl it at various things, even a few people. . . It’s seen me stripped bare; contorted by rejection and rage, wallowing in self pity. It’s been by my side as I’ve learned and evolved... matured.

It’s a mug I’d never have picked; the crockery is too thin, the pattern too old. It’s too refined for my raw edges; too British for my Antipodean routes. Inexplicably, I like it. But I treasure it because she gave it to me, one Christmas. Alexander McCall Smith taught me later that Spode could fuel an argument and feed a story, as I sat alone in an Edinburgh flat with my steaming mug in hand. You Brits sure do put a lot of heat into tea. Time has carved out many lines on us both; the handle now too cracked to house any hot liquids. And still it remains, home to a family of toothbrushes. It’s neglected and toothpaste splodged but never unloved.

As I write this, the mug shatters, as if guided by a force bigger than the tiny hands which clambered up and tried to ‘borrow’ it from the shelf. “It don’t matter, Mummy,” my toddler comforts me. And while my heart aches as I collect up all the pieces, I know he’s right. It is just a mug. I treasure it not for the pattern or the pottery.

I treasure it as a waymarker to memories. And they will come to me without this prop. All these things it held still exist, true memories are imbibed. The broken pieces bring a freedom to choose new possibilities, to make my own happiness. Maybe I’ll finally take that mosaic course I’ve wanted to do for years. Or maybe, just maybe, I’ll get in touch with the lady with the cracking smile and infectious laugh that once upon a time gifted me my beloved Spode mug.

We’d like to know what you treasure - whether it’s a sentimental artefact, a person, a place or something else. Tell us in 500 words what means a lot to you - email thesimplethings@icebergpress.co.uk

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How to draw a realistic portrait

You may not be quick on the draw, but these suggestions will help you make your mark

Portraiture is hard, especially if you know the person – it’s easy to notice if the likeness isn’t spot on. Suffice to say, you won’t become Leonardo overnight, but if you want to improve your skills, using this process may be helpful...

• Forget what you think you know about the face. Don’t bother about the details initially – consider the whole head. Lightly sketch out the structure of the head first, using an H or HB pencil: focus on the areas where bones are nearest to the skin: that’s cheekbones, brow, forehead, chin and jawline.

• You could draw a very light line down the middle of the face to centre the nose, and another for the eyes so they don’t go wonky later.

• Shade in the shadows with a softer pencil (something like a 3B). Again, go lightly. You could take a photo and change the filter to black and white to help you work out where the shadows should be. Keep blending, using your finger or a smudging tool.

• Finally, add the details, such as the eyes and lips.

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How to breathe a bit better

Learn to fill your lungs more efficiently

Check yourself

• Put one hand on your chest, the other just below the ribcage.
• Take slow, deep breaths and see which hand moves the most.
• It should be the one on your ribcage – meaning you are using your diaphragm to breathe, rather than your chest. Chest breathing makes your body stressed.

Then practise

• Get comfy on a bed or chair, with loose clothing.
• Sigh out through your mouth – it’ll relax your shoulders and neck muscles.
• Take slow, gentle deep breaths down to the bottom of your lungs. Breathe in through the nose and out through the nose and mouth.
• Slow your breath down further, checking that your ribcage is still moving more than your chest.
• Aim to practise for five minutes each day. You can also use it to relax any time you get tense.

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How to be mindful

Mindfulness - learn the basics of this super-useful sanity saver

“In bringing your attention to the breath, you’re necessarily bringing your attention to the present moment,” says Zen master Julian Daizan Skinner, author of Practical Zen (Singing Dragon). He suggests you aim for 25 minutes, starting with less and building up to that if you need to.

1 Find a comfortable sitting position and create a firm triangular base for your body. You can sit cross-legged on the floor, with your bottom on a cushion so your hips tilt forward, keeping your spine straight, or sit upright on a chair with feet firmly planted on the floor.
2 Make it your intention to sit still, but if you need to move occasionally, that’s fine. Don’t force anything.
3 You can either shut your eyes or keep your eyes gently focused on the ground in front of you.
4 Slowly bring your awareness to your breathing. Don’t try to change it, just watch it. Notice where it is in your body and bring your attention there.
5 Mentally count your breaths. In-breath: one. Out-breath: two. And so on, up to ten. Then start again at one.
6 Thoughts, worries and memories are bound to arise and that’s fine. Just notice them. Allow every moment to be exactly as it is.

Turn to page 85 of February's The Simple Things for more on our Mindfulness special. 

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Things you could give up for Lent

Not planning on giving up chocolate for Lent? Try one of these ideas instead.

Plastic bottles

Carry your own drinking bottle and drink tap water.

News

It can provoke anxiety so give yourself a break every now and then.

Social media

Speak to those you care about and remain blissfully unaware of those you don’t.

Waste

Buy food locally and more frequently to avoid waste and get savvy with sell-by dates and leftovers.

Gossiping

It creates negative energy. If you haven’t got anything nice to say...

What would you add? What are you giving up? Come over and tell us on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter.

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Listen | Break up songs

What becomes of the broken hearted? They sit around and listen to sad songs…

Listen to our break up songs playlist now.

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