Quiz | What's in my pocket?

It’s quiz time! Can you match the fictional character to the contents of their pocket?

We’ve made a list of items found in the pockets of people from the literary world. Can you guess which item was kept in which person’s pocket? Scroll down for the answers.

The unnamed 7-year-old narrator of The Witches (Roald Dahl)

Mr Pepperpot in the Mrs Pepperpot series (Alf Prøysen)

Sherlock Holmes in A Study in Scarlet (Arthur Conan Doyle)

Virgina Woolf

Bilbo Baggins in The Hobbit (JRR Tolkien)

Marian in Tess of the d’Urbervilles (Thomas Hardy)

William Brown in William Below Stairs (Richmal Crompton)

Hansel in Hansel and Gretel (The Brothers Grimm)

The Artful Dodger in Oliver Twist (Charles Dickens)

Harry in Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone (JK Rowling)

Lennie in Of Mice and Men (John Steinbeck)

The soldier in The Tinder Box (Hans Christian Andersen)

Douglas Gold in the story Triangle at Rhodes from Murder in the Mews and Other Stories (Agatha Christie)

1 Gold coins

2 Breadcrumbs

3 Gin

4 The One Ring

5 Strophanthin

6 Stones, top, penknife, bits of putty, and other small objects… and a dying lizard

7 Silk handkerchiefs

8 Heavy stones and a heavy heart

9 A blood red stone

10 A dead mouse

11 Mrs Pepperpot

12 Two mice called William and Mary

13 A magnifying glass and a tape measure

In our April issue, we take a look at pockets and why it’s so important for women’s clothing to have them.

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Answers

1 Gold coins - The soldier in The Tinder Box (Hans Christian Andersen). 2 Breadcrumbs - Hansel in Hansel and Gretel (The Brothers Grimm).  3 Gin - Marian in Tess of the d’Urbervilles (Thomas Hardy). 4 The One Ring - Bilbo Baggins in The Hobbit (JRR Tolkien).  5 Strophanthin - Douglas Gold in the story Triangle at Rhodes from Murder in the Mews and Other Stories (Agatha Christie). 6 Stones, top, penknife, bits of putty, and other small objects… and a dying lizard - William Brown in William Below Stairs (Richmal Crompton). 7 Silk handkerchiefs - The Artful Dodger in Oliver Twist (Charles Dickens). 8 Heavy stones and a heavy heart - Virgina Woolf. 9 A blood red stone - Harry in Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone (JK Rowling).  10 A dead mouse - Lennie in Of Mice and Men (John Steinbeck). 11 Mrs Pepperpot - Mr Pepperpot in the Mrs Pepperpot series (Alf Prøysen).  12 Two mice called William and Mary - The unnamed 7-year-old narrator of The Witches (Roald Dahl).  13 A magnifying glass and a tape measure - Sherlock Holmes in A Study in Scarlet (Arthur Conan Doyle)

More from our April issue…

More quizzes…

Why we love | ridiculous romantic novel titles

We know you should never judge a book by its cover but sometimes it is rather fun

In our April issue, we’ve been celebrating the romance novel in all its forms. From Austen heroes brooding in drawing rooms, to steamy scenes from more modern times, romance as a genre is something we can all relate to and something we love to love, even though we know it’s just a bit silly. So in honour of all that, we’ve collated eight of the more silly and very real titles of romance novels we encountered and have imagined how their plots might pan out. 

Mad, Bad and Dangerous in Plaid

Two kilt makers in the Highlands are driven to a turf war over ownership of a design. The last thing they expected was for love to blossom over a patent rights dispute. 

Beginner’s Guide to Rakes

When Susan gets her first allotment, she is confused by the range of garden and DIY tools on offer in her local Homebase. Fortunately, Roger is there to lend a hand. 

Aroused by Two Lions

A chance encounter while on a day trip to Whipsnade brings more than Elsa bargained for.

Emily’s Magical Bejewelled Codpiece

Tudor historian Emily discovers the costume department of the museum contains a secret door to the court of King Henry VIII and adventure awaits. 

Desert Prince, Defiant Virgin

Prince Ali has never left his village home on the edge of the desert and decides if he is to find love, he must take his search to further flung lands. Unfortunately, due to Richard Branson’s cuts, the flight is cancelled. 

Grace Before Meat

The Reverend John Alford is a regular at his village butcher. Then one day a new apprentice arrives in the form of beautiful Emily Bones, and love blossoms over the lamb shanks.

Romance Goes Tenting

A dark and rainy night, a young couple on their first holiday… a row over why on earth he didn’t book the caravan as she’d suggested. Things are going to get stormy before they get steamy. 

Apollo’s Seed

An unlikely romance blooms between Ted, who is putting in his annual Thompson and Morgan’s seed catalogue order, and Octavia, a young Greek woman, working at the call centre. 

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More from our April issue…

More literary inspiration…

March | a final thought

We’ve reached the end of our March ‘Balm’ issue. We hope you enjoyed reading it as much as we enjoyed making it.

Our April issue will be on shelves (and on your doormat too) if you order directly from us. In the meantime, we hope this gorgeous illustration by Amber Fossey cheers and comforts you a little.

More from our March issue…

Build your own | Kitchen Sink Drama

Take a pinch of righteous anger, a sprinkling of political disappointment and a good dollop of marital misery and you can make your very own Kitchen Sink Drama in minutes!

Life has been a little more gritty than usual for most of us recently, and we’ve all spent more time at the kitchen sink than we would in normal times. We’re thinking that before the predicted artistic revolution of ‘roaring 2020s’ arrives, we must surely be due a kitchen sink revival. 

With that in mind, we’ve decided to pen a short kitchen sink drama of our own, and we’d love you to join in the fun. Phone a friend of family member with a talent for writing (or just a tendency to the dramatic), choose six items from the following list and build your own kitchen sink drama. Start with a gritty location somewhere in Great Britain, decide on a scenario and build your story around your six items. We’ll take any messages from The Royal Court theatre while you’re busy. Go!

1. A north of England accent, Salford for preference

2. An angry young man, preferably wearing a grubby white vest, reading a left-wing tract aggressively

3. A secret but unwanted pregnancy

4. A difficult conversation about communism over the dinner table

5. A youthful and hot-headed idealist with a ‘jolly good sort’ name, such as Helen or Jo

6. An amiable but awkward lodger

7. The Sunday papers, strewn messily across the floor

8. An endless basket of ironing and a utilitarian-looking ironing board that’s seen some action

9. A cameo featuring a future Labour party MP*

10. A Raleigh bicycle, leaned rakishly against the set somewhere

If you love a kitchen sink but could have enough of the angry young men, turn to page 112 of our March issue, where we’ve gathered together some of the most covetable kitchen sinks we’ve seen in our My Place feature. The one above belongs to Aisling Kirwan @mylimestonehome. 

*It’s true. Hazel Blears did in fact appear as a street urchin in the 1961 film of Shelagh Delany’s A Taste of Honey. 

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More from our March issue…

More creative fun…

March | a could do list

We hope you might find something here you’d like to do (but no pressure)

At The Simple Things, we’re all about finding the small pleasures in life and making the most of them.. Every month, we put together a ‘could-do list’ (because we don’t believe in ‘to-do lists’) of things y ou might like to do, see or think about. Feel free to choose on or two, do them all (though probably not all at once) or just read and enjoy the idea of doing them. Sometimes just thinking about things you could do is the most fun of all.

Whatever you do, or don’t do, have a very happy March!

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More from our March issue…

More of our could-do lists…

February | a final thought

Taken from Be Wild Be Free by Amber Fossey (Harper Collins), artist and mental health expert who instagrams at @zeppelinmoon.

It’s been a slightly surreal few months, and we liked the way this illustration by Amber Fossey from our back cover gave us a bit of a new perspective on it all. Sometimes looking at something in a slightly upside-down way is all you need to gain a new view of the world.

We hope you enjoyed our February ‘Heart’ issue, and it gave you a bit of heart, and something of a lift during the last days of winter. Spring Proper is inches away now and our March issue is in shops from tomorrow or you can order it via our online shop.

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More from our February issue…

More wit and wisdom from our back cover…

How to | Dress Like a Steampunk

Fetch the dressing-up trunk; we’ve found a solid reason for grown-ups to get in on the fun

If you’ve ever been intrigued by Steampunk style, or simply passed someone on the street looking like they’ve wandered out of the 19th century, via a branch of Ann Summers and an RAF outfitters, and wondered what it was all about, here’s a brief explanation: Steampunk is a style, a lifestyle and a philosophy described as ‘a sub genre of science fiction and fantasy that incorporates technology and aesthetic design inspired by 19th century industrial steam powered machinery’. It’s a bit of a hybrid genre, however, and often also incorporates elements of the Gothic, Wild West and more. 

In more layman’s terms, it’s dressing up in fabulous costume, adding technological accessories and having a jolly nice time enjoying all the best aspects of Victoriana and indulging in some hearty afternoon teas, to boot. 

In our February issue, we meet some Steampunks, in our Modern Eccentrics series, but if you’re keen to get in on the Steampunky action before that (we know we were) there’s nothing to stop you gathering together a Steampunk dressing-up box at home. You could hold your own Steampunk afternoon tea knowing at least that no one is going to surprise you with a visit, or look forward to surprising the postman or supermarket delivery driver if you’re feeling almost ready to take your new look out to the world. 

Here’s a guide on how to dress like a Steampunk

1. Choose your theme. Your basic Steampunk look is Victorian with a steam-powered twist, but within that are various sub genres. Some of the popular looks are Gothic, military, aviator, adventurer, explorer and pirate (we told you it was all jolly good fun, didn’t we?) but you can choose your own and give your costume your own twist, related to your own career, hobbies or heritage. 

2. Source a top with a strong Victorian style, but a bit of glamour too. A corset is ideal. Clearly stepping out in just a corset would have given Queen Vic herself an attack of the vapours, but that’s the fun of Steampunk; it takes the bits of Victorian style that are fun and leaves the judgement back in the 1870s. A laced-up corset that would look at home in a bodice-ripper novel is ideal, but if you feel more comfortable in something a bit less risque, look for blouses with big sleeves, and anything wreathed in lace. 

3. Hunt out tiered and gathered skirts that show a little leg, or trousers with a lot of attitude. Leather is very much encouraged but skirts with multiple layers and lengths are also de rigeur. It can get a bit hot under all those layers and leather so skirts are often gathered higher at the front to let a little air in. 

4. Rediscover your waist with a cinch and add a bustle. Steampunk is all about the exaggerated silhouette. And while the cinch may slightly hinder your efforts at putting away cake and cucumber sandwiches, there’s plenty of room under that big skirt for seconds.

5. Boot up with something sturdy. Long leather boots are ideal but an old pair of DMs paired with fancy tights works equally well. ‘Hardy’ and ‘a fine turn of ankle’ are your watchwords.

6. Adorn your shoulders with a faux fur stole, or a bolero, or a nice tweed jacket... whatever you like. You will never be cold as a Steampunk, even standing in front of dark satanic mills in February, trying to get a good selfie. 

7. Here’s where it gets even more fun: add lots of cogs, gears and general ‘industrial’ paraphernalia. You can go mad with brass buttons that look like nuts and bolts, earrings and necklaces made of cogs and heavy chains to adorn your jacket. As long as you look like you might chug instead of breathe, you’ve done well.

8. Add some lace into the mix. Lace is a bit of a must for Steampunks; definitely essential for the Gothic style but frankly it looks just as good if you’re going for a pirate look. Even the most intrepid Steampunk aviator’s style is improved by the softening effect of a little lace at the neck. 

9. Pop some specs on; the tiny little round ones are best, but anything that gives you an air of Miss Marplesque curiosity is what you’re going for. You don’t even have to have them on your nose; simply perch on your head, pop in a top jacket pocket or wear them on a chain around your neck.

10. Accessorise with some time pieces: as many as you like. Clocks are a big part of the Steampunk look. You can go for a beautiful pocket watch pinned to your person, or just a nod to it with some tights or a tattoo that references the inner workings of clocks. Or go all out and drape them everywhere. You’re aiming for a look that is somewhere between legendary clock-wearing rapper Flavor Flav and The White Rabbit from Alice in Wonderland. 

11. Pin some medals on yourself. In Steampunk circles we are told many people wear crosses and stars to celebrate their victories. What victories these are, we aren’t certain. Perhaps getting into those corsets or lacing up those boots? Who knows. Either way, if you’ve ever yearned to be decorated, now’s your chance: make free with the medals, get sewing them on your jacket and feel heroic. 

12. Invest in a pair of flying goggles. We wouldn’t say they’re a <must> for a Steampunk but they do help in adding that ‘adventurey’ look you want and they’re just the best bit. Being a Steampunk without goggles is a bit like going to a fancy dress party as Dracula without the teeth. They’re historically significant due to the Victorian need for cinder goggles when riding on the newly expanded railways and later for driving, with the advent of the motor car. And stylistically, well, a Steampunk might need them for any eventuality: to throw on when jumping in the cockpit of one’s bi-plane, for protecting one’s eyes during a pirate battle or in a mad scientist’s laboratory, or simply as protection against generic ‘industrial steam’. One can never be too careful. Also, they look really, really cool. 

13. Get an airship. Because why wouldn’t you want an airship?

Meet some Steampunks in our February issue, out now.

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More from our February issue…

More fun for days at home…

January | a final thought

We’ve reached the end of our January ‘Snug’ issue. Our February issue is in shops from tomorrow or you can order it via our online shop.

We hope you enjoyed feeling ‘snug’ with us. Here’s the illustration from our back cover, which made us all feel pretty snug, too.

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More from our January issue…

More wisdom from our back cover…

How to | do a jigsaw properly

With a little forethought and planning you can puzzle to perfection without going to pieces

Just because Christmas is a time for fun a frivolity, doesn’t mean we can’t do the fun and frivolity properly. We like to start jigsaw puzzles with the same enthusiasm and commitment with which we would undertake any Very Important Way of Passing An Otherwise Deliciously Empty Afternoon. Here’s how.

Do your jigsaw prep

Clear an area so that you can spread out all your pieces and will have enough room to do the puzzle, too. The dimensions are usually on the box. A proper jigsaw roll is a real boon if you can’t dedicate the space to a puzzle for a whole day (or week). But otherwise, a large, hard surface like a dining table or even a big board you can push under the sofa between jigsaw sessions will do the job just as well. A smooth surface that you can sift the pieces across easily is best. 
Ensure no crawling babies, pets or other potential hazards are nearby. 
Get yourself a big mug of tea and make sure you have plenty more in the house to fuel you through your puzzling. Get a couple of biscuits, too.
Actually, scratch that, get the whole tin. You don’t want to be wasting precious time going back and forth to the kitchen. Also very much acceptable is a large tin of Quality Street or the like. 

Spend time sorting the pieces

Yes, it’s the most boring bit and it’s tempting to just dive right in, but time spent ‘zoning’ the pieces now will make putting it together much easier. Tip out the pieces and then turn the all face up, ‘zoning’ them into areas of the picture as you go. If your picture contains two similar areas, like two separate parts of sky, zone all those pieces together for now and you might be able to separate them by tone later. With very large puzzles, of more than 250 pieces, it’s best to get little pots (kitchen Tupperware is good) and have separate pots for all the different zones. While zoning, separate out any edge pieces. If you’re doing a rectangular or square puzzle, put the four corners somewhere safe. 

Do the edges first

Some people will tell you that starting with a zone of the puzzle you find easy to do somewhere in the middle is just as good. Those people are wrong. And we all know that the middle is the most fun to do and should therefore be saved until last. Complete your whole edge first. Your future self (in about an hour) will thank you. 

Take a tea break

You need to stretch your eyes a bit and what better excuse than a wander out to the garden while the kettle is boiling? Semi-pro puzzlers will do a few lunges too, to get the blood circulating and plenty of oxygen to the brain. The rest of us use the time to ensure the biscuit tin doesn’t need restocking. 

Get in the zone

Once you have your frame edges, choose a zone you fancy working on. A zone that borders a large expanse, such as sky or water, is a good place to start as it gives you a jumping off point for that. Once you’ve completed that ‘zone’, pick another, preferably one next to it, so you’ve got somewhere to start from. 

Fill in the gaps

Once you’ve done all the main zones, you should be able to join them up and fill in any bits you couldn’t find a home for between them and around the edges. 

Exhibit your finished puzzle and accept accolades from family and friends

Some jigsaw puzzles today are so genuinely lovely they need framing. You can even buy ‘no frame frames' where you simply stick the jigsaw to a backing before hanging it on the wall. 
You may like to have a grand unveiling over a tipple or two in the room where your puzzle is on display. We don’t think this would be de trop at all though your family might. And if you’re having a small Christmas and therefore have a small audience, we’d say you’re completely justified in sharing your puzzle heavily on social media. If you have to put up with photos of people’s pets, kids and lunches all year, your friends owe you. 

Turn to page 42 of our December issue to read more about the joy of jigsaw puzzles. and some of the best in the shops now. And while you’re waiting for yours to arrive, we’ve made a few online puzzles you can do right now here.

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More fun and games…

More from our December issue…

Science | decorate a Christmas tree using maths

Is decorating a tree best done using science or plain good sense? Pick a method below and give it a go

Some people’s trees always just look stunning, don’t they? Don’t get us wrong, we’re big fans of a wonky tree ourselves, but we do sometimes wonder what their secret is. So we’ve done a bit of analysis to discover whether a Christmas tree is best decorated using hard science (or some tricky maths at least) or a good dollop of Simple Things style common sense.  Do give one a go and let us know how you got on.

Decorating a tree using mathematics

How much tinsel is too much? What quantity of baubles is enough? And is that angel too much? Take a deep breath. Maths students at Sheffield University Maths Society (SUMS - ho ho ho) have got all the answers. And they’ve shown their workings, too. 

Using 'treegonometry' they have calculated that a 152cm (5ft) Christmas tree would require 31 baubles, 776cm of tinsel and 478cm of lights with a 15cm star or angel on the top.

Length of tinsel = 13 x 𝛑/8 x (tree height in cm)

Number of baubles = √17/20 x (tree height in cm)

Height of star in cm =  Tree height in cm ÷ 10

If you’re no Pythagorus you can find a calculator here courtesy of Sheffield University to do the above sums for you. Just enter the height of your tree. 

Decorating a tree using common sense

Wondering whether a mono-colour tree would look stylish or ‘cold’? Or whether you need to put every last trinket on (even the ones the children made years ago and looked awful before they were stuck in the attic for a decade)? Fear not. We’ve got it all worked out, and not a sum in sight. 

Which baubles to put where? Easy. Breakables at the bottom so they have less far to fall, along with larger baubles. Work upwards in size order so you have the more delicate ones at the top and they won’t pull the more spindly branches down. For edibles such as chocolates, gingerbread biscuits and the like, take the height of your dog/child, triple it, and hang only above that height. 

How to design a colour scheme. Look at everything you have. Do you have basically one or two colours? If yes, decorate using only those. If no, mix it all up and go for a ‘lived in’ look.

In a knot with your lights? First make sure your tree is within reach of a plug socket. Pull the tree out to wrap the lights around it and push it back to the wall or corner afterwards to make putting the lights around it easier. Keep the lights rolled, unravelling only as you go. For a more professional look, start in the middle of the tree and take the lights out to the end of one branch and back to the middle, continue in the same way around the branches of the tree until you get high up enough that they can just be draped around. 

How to hide ‘homemade but horrible’ decorations. Put them round the back. Or if your tree is in a window, bury them in the bottom third round the side of the tree. 

Star or angel? Both, of course! It’s Christmas - you can’t have too many trinkets!

The very beautiful tree pictured above was decorated by Caroline Rowland, who has enough style running through her veins to be able to eschew both common sense and science. It’s just one of the trees we featured in our My Place feature starting on page 124.

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More Christmas decoration ideas…

More from our December issue…

Seven of our favourite card games

Join our card school and learn to play a few traditional games

When the evenings draw in and there’s a chill in the air, it’s the ideal time to dust off a pack of cards and cosy up for the evening. Whether you’re a green visors and whiskies card shark or more of a cup of tea and a quick hand of rummy before bed type, we hope you enjoy learning some of our favourite games.

Black Jack (Brit style)*

BASICS: 4-6 players; 52-card deck. Each player gets seven cards. Remaining cards are placed face down as stock with top card turned over as the starter. First player lays a card on the starter, which must match in either suit or rank, or draws a card from stock. The player continues laying cards in sequence until they can’t go or they lay an action card.

ACTION CARDS:
Two: next player picks up two cards, unless they can play a Two and make the next player pick up four.

Eight: next player misses turn.

Black Jack: next player picks up five cards. A second Black Jack makes the next player pick up ten. Red Jack cancels.

Queen: follow with a card of any suit.

King: reverses play order.

The first person to shed all their cards wins. However, when a player can win on their next go, they must call ‘last cards’ or have to draw a card.

*It’s different to the US gambling game ‘Blackjack’.

Eights

A game best played with two people, also known as Crazy Eights or Swedish Rummy

BASICS: 2–7 players; 52-card deck

Each player receives 5 cards (with two players, each receives 7 cards). Remaining cards are placed face down as the stock, with top card turned up as the starter. First player lays one card on the starter, which must match in either suit or rank. If unable to do this, the player must draw a card from the stock. When the stock is exhausted, a player unable to play must pass.

Eights are wild and can be played on any card, regardless of its suit or rank, with the player specifying its suit. Play ends when any player lays his last card. He scores the total of cards remaining in all other hands: Eights score

50, aces 1, face cards 10, the index value for all others. With two players, the first to reach 100 points wins.

Knockout whist

The classic family favourite. Sniggering at the word ‘trumps’ never gets old.

BASICS: 2–7 players; 52 card deck; Ace is high

Seven cards are dealt to each player. The next card is turned up and becomes the trump suit. The player to the left of the dealer places the first card. Each player must follow the suit led, if possible. If not, play any other card, including a trump card. The highest trump wins the trick or, if no trumps are played, the highest card of the suit led. The winner leads the next trick.

Once all cards are played, players without any tricks are eliminated. The player with the most tricks picks trumps for the next hand; if two people have the same amount of tricks, cut cards to decide. The number of cards dealt decreases by one each hand, until only one player – the ultimate winner – remains.

Ninety-Nine

BASICS: 2 or more players; 52-card deck; you’ll need chips or counters.

Each player is given three counters and dealt three cards.

To play, place one card face up in the centre of the table, calling out the total value of the face-up pile before drawing the top card from the stock. Each card adds its face value in points. Jacks and Queens count as 10.

The following cards have additional effects:

3: skips next player

4: no value, reverses play

9: value of 99

10: adds or subtracts ten from the total

King: no value

Ace: value of one or 11.

If the player cannot place a card without taking the value of the pile over 99, the round ends and they lose one counter.

The winner is the last person left with counters.

Oh Hell!

A trick-taking game, beloved by Bill Clinton and Steven Spielberg, in which the object is to take exactly the number of tricks bid

BASICS: 3-7 players; 52 card deck; Ace is high

Each player is dealt a hand. There are many variations but typically, with

3–5 players, 10 cards each; 6 players, 8 cards each; 7 players, 7 cards each.

Each successive hand is played with one card fewer. After dealing, the next card is turned up and becomes the trump suit. Each player now bids for the number of tricks he thinks he can win. The player to the left of the dealer starts. Each player must follow the suit led, if possible. If not, play any other card, including trump. The highest card of the led suit wins the trick unless ruffed, when the highest trump wins. A player who wins the exact number of tricks bid scores 10 plus the number of tricks bid.

Klondike Solitaire

BASICS: 1–4 players; 52-card deck

One of the most popular versions of Solitaire, Klondike is typically a solo game, but it can be played as a group activity where everyone works together to solve the same shuffle. Players sort cards into foundation piles from Ace to King by suit, while organizing cards into descending order with alternating colors in the tableau.

Klondike is perfect for those looking to relax or sharpen their strategic thinking, either individually or as a team. You can try Klondike Solitaire here and even compete to see who can solve it fastest.

Red Dog

Beat the top card of the pack by having a higher ranking card of the same suit.

Basics: 2–10 players; 52-card deck; Ace is high; you’ll need chips or counters.

Five cards dealt to each player face down (four if more than eight play). Players put up one or any number of agreed chips to make the pool. First player can bet one chip or up to the number in the pool (‘betting the pot’). The dealer turns the top card of the pack. If the player can show a higher card in the same suit he wins back his bet and the pool. If he can’t he adds his chips to the pool, discards his hand and it’s the next player’s go. You can forfeit a hand by adding a chip to the pot and discarding your cards. When there are no chips in the pot, each player adds more and play continues.

More fun and games…

More ways to stay cosy at home…

Halloween | Simple spells

It’s Halloween. Why not try a little magic?*

• When you’re in the shower, visualise the water removing any anxieties and worries from the day before.

• If you’re feeling unwell, make a soup and while stirring it chant, “Cold, flu and ills be gone, healthy body from now on.”

• Make a love oil. Blend 5 drops each of rose and lavender oil and 120ml carrier oil. Shake the jar and focus on the intent of the oil (to bring love or friendship, say).

• Be a positive force. Help others, act with love, cut the gossip and try not to judge.

*Adapted from The Good Witch's Guide by Shawn Robbins and Charity Bedell (Sterling)

More Halloween activities…

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From our November issue…

Dogs | Pedigree Chums

A canine companion really does make any house a home.

Sometimes they also make any newspaper a shredded mess, any slipper a pile of rubber shavings and any lovingly prepared dinner for you a fast food takeaway for them. But we’ll not dwell on that. 

In our October issue we feature some fabulous photos of a few beautiful dogs in their beautiful homes, from the book Cool Dogs Cool Homes: Living in Style with Your Dog by Geraldine James (CICO Books). Photography by James Gardine. We’ve featured one of them here just to give you a sneak doggy preview.

All those stylish dogs in their stylish homes got us to wondering which types of stylish dogs are the most popular. So we looked it up. And here is the definitive answer.

In 2019, according to Kennel Club registrations, these were the most popular pedigree breeds:

1. Labrador Retreiver

2. French Bulldog

3. Cocker Spaniel

4. Bulldog

5. English Springer Spaniel

6. Golden Retriever

7. Dachsund

8. German Shepherd

9. Pug

10. Miniature Schnauser

Reader offer

Readers can buy a copy of Cool Dogs Cool Homes for the special price of £15 (RRP £19.99). To order go to rylandpeters.com and use code SIMPLEDOGS at checkout. Offer valid until October 31st 2020.

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More from our October issue…

More canine companions…

Are you a night owl or a lark?

In our September issue, we’ve explored the idea of night owls and larks. Do you sit up late, enjoying the peaace and the dark, getting all your best work done and having the most fun when everyone else has already retired? Or do you feel the glow of satisfaction of rising with the sun and getting stuff done while the rest of the house still snoozes?

Take part in our poll below on whether you’re a night owl or a lark. We’re hoping to find out whether more Simple Things readers are early risers or stay-up-laters. We’ll let you know the results!

More from our September issue…

More wellbeing for everyone…

Primer | colouring colours we loved

September is ‘new pencil cases’ time for us. Join us in a celebration of colouring crayons

There’s not much that cheers our hearts more than the idea of a bit of new stationery. Once you’ve sharpened your colouring pencils ready for the new term, buy a copy of our September issue, in which we have a Sketchbook Club feature with artist Jennie Maizels to help you learn to draw beautiful birds. We also were lucky enough to visit her colourful home, and you can see those pictures and read all about it from p94. We particularly coveted her bright studio with its pots upon pots of colouring pencils, paints and crayons, and it reminded us of a time when we knew the ‘names’ of all our crayons and always had a favourite - definitely a top ten at least. 

So here, in no particular order and judged completely on whim and without reason, are our favourite Crayola Crayon colours. Do share yours with us in the comments section below. 

1. Cerulean. Blue is repeatedly voted the nation’s favourite crayon colour. After all, it deserves some credit after all that stoic painting of skies and seas. Plus, we just loved the name. Why aren’t more children called Cerulean?

2. Inchworm. Named for the bright green caterpillar of the geometer moth (which disappointingly is itself a sludgy brown). It reminded us of the Hans Christian Andersen song, too. 

3. Macaroni and Cheese. A warm orange hue, named by a child as part of a competition Crayola ran in 1993 with Kraft Foods. 

4. Purple Mountains’ Majesty. This scores points for just being really fancy - and giving Farrow and Ball a run for its money. 

5. Corn silk. Back in the good old days, crayon colours were a bit educational, too. We mused for hours (while filling in suns and sandy beaches) over what corn silk might be. Turns out it’s the stringy bits on the top of a corn cob. Anyway, it’s a much better name than the brighter Unmellow Yellow… who wants their yellow UNmellow? 

The colourful array of colouring things in the picture by Carmel King above is from artist and founder of Sketchbook Club, Jennie Maizel’s home, which is featured in our September issue. You can find a tutorial on how to draw birds by Jennie on page 102. Jennie has run Sketchbook Club from her home and online for five years. For all the kit you need to get started, including paints, pencils and paper, visit: jenniemaizels.com and head to Jennie Maizels’ Sketchbook Club YouTube Channel for supporting ‘How to’ videos for these projects. You can also follow Jennie on Twitter and Instagram at @jenniemaizels.

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More from our September issue…

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Wish you were here

How a postcard spread a little sunshine eight decades late

We do love a postcard, and with so many holiday plans cancelled this year, we’re appreciating them even more. So we thought we’d bring some postal cheer with a story about a postcard that was also all the more enjoyable for being rather delayed. They do say the best things come to those who wait…

The postcard, featuring a black and white photo of a war memorial, was sent from Burnham-on-Crouch in Essex to a Mr and Mrs Richardson in East Dulwich, south London in 1929, the year of the Wall Street Crash and the same year John Logie Baird began his first experimental television transmissions from the BBC. It finally arrived at Lacon Road in 2008, the year of the bank bailout (for TV context the most-watched TV show that year was Wallace and Gromit: A Matter of Loaf and Death).

The postcard reads simply:

Dear Auntie and Uncle,

Have arrived safely, got down about one o'clock, will write soon.

Love, May and Nel

But where did it get to in the intervening 79 years? Possibly it found its way accidentally into a nook or cranny somewhere at the Royal Mail and was rediscovered during renovations. The Royal Mail itself said at the time that it was more likely it had ‘re-entered the mail system’ all these years later so was perhaps misdelivered initially and then put in the post again. Mr and Mrs Richardson, whoever they might be, are presumably no longer with us but the current owner of the house held onto the postcard in case someone related to them ever wishes to claim it on their behalf. 

You can read more about the joy of postcards in our August issue, on sale now.

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Eggs: scrambled, not stirred

Why scrambled eggs were nearly the undoing of James Bond but are still the best breakfast

It was Fay Weldon who originally advised us all to 'Go To Work on an Egg’ for the Egg Marketing Board in the 1950s. And it seems James Bond took her at her word.

If you expected Bond’s favourite dish to be something a little sexier, think again; Britain’s most famous spy liked nothing more than a plate of scrambled eggs and was regularly depicted getting stuck into a plate of them, with bacon, or kidneys… always with a fancy tipple. In fact, there are only three of the Ian Fleming books in which they don't appear (if you’re interested, they are From Russia With Love, The Man with the Golden Gun and You Only Live Twice). It must be pointed out that 007 does eat eggs in all those books, too, just not scrambled. 

They made so many appearances in Live and Let Die that a proof reader pointed out to him that Bond’s scrambled egg habit was so impressive it may be his undoing; for any enemy on his tail would only have to nip into a restaurant and ask if an Englishman eating scrambled eggs had been in. He eventually edited a few instances of scrambled eggs out of the second draft, but Bond’s penchant for his favourite breakfast was, in general, unswerving.

In his short story 007 in New York, Fleming included a recipe for ‘Scrambled Eggs James Bond’, which you might like to try for brunch this weekend. It serves four.

Scrambled Eggs James Bond

12 fresh eggs
Salt and pepper
5-6 oz. of fresh butter

Break the eggs into a bowl. Beat thoroughly with a fork and season well. In a small copper (or heavy bottomed saucepan) melt 4oz of the butter. When melted, pour in the eggs and cook over a very low heat, whisking continuously with a small egg whisk.

While the eggs are slightly more moist than you would wish for eating, remove the pan from heat, add rest of butter and continue whisking for half a minute, adding the while finely chopped chives or fines herbes. Serve on hot buttered toast in individual copper dishes (for appearance only) with pink champagne (Taittinger) and low music.

It’s a certainly a classic recipe, but if you’re looking for something a little different, don’t miss our feature on second breakfasts on page 34 of our August issue. It includes a recipe for the Indian Scrambled Eggs with Naan (above), as well as homemade beans on toast, bay-roasted grapes and ricotta on toast and a delicious frittata, all taken from Home Bird: Simple Low-Waste Recipes for the Family and Friends by Megan Davies (Ryland Peters and Small) with photography by Clare Winfield.

Reader offer

Readers can buy a copy of Home Bird for the special price of £12 To order go to rylandpeters.com and use code HOMEBIRD12 at checkout. Offer valid until August 31 2020.

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Eggstra inspiration for you…

Puffins and puffineers

Illustration: Zuza Misko

We have always thought there’s nuffin like a puffin and, like Kelly Keegan, who wrote our Magical Creatures feature about puffins in our July issue, we attribute much of our love for these birds to their association with Puffin Books, which were such a big part of so many of our childhoods. If you were a big fan, you might even have been a member of The Puffin Club, aka a Puffineer.

The club was founded in 1967 by Kaye Webb, then editor of Puffin Books and in its first year more than 16,000 children joined. At its peak it had some 200,000 members. The enamel puffin badge was a big draw, if we remember correctly, but we stayed for the excitement of receiving a copy of the Puffin Post through the letterbox regularly and being invited to VIP Puffin parties, colourful, grand affairs attended by some of the day’s most famous children’s authors and illustrators. Whether you were a proud Puffineer or not, here are a few facts you might like to know about the Puffin Club…

1. There was a secret Puffin Club greeting for members: “Sniffup”, and a response: “Spotera”. (Try reading them backwards).

2. Each month, Puffin would hide 50 coded messages in new books all over the country but only members had the code to decipher them.

3. The Puffin Club’s ‘computer’ was called TOMCAT (Totally Obedient Machine Cannot Actually Think) though all the admin was done with good old-fashioned paper and pencil in reality. 

4. The last Puffin Post was printed in 1989 but there was a brief revival in 2009 when The Book People took it over. Puffineers will tell you it wasn’t a patch on the original, however. 

5. As well as a love of reading, Puffineers joined in with acts of charity, including raising £3,000 to buy a stretch of Yorkshire coastline as a puffin sanctuary in 1972.

6. Puffin Post always featured a joke. The first one being: “Do you get fur from a skunk? Yes, as fur away as possible.”

7. Virtuoso violinist Yehudi Menuhin was the second president of the Puffin Club.

8. Founder members received the gold Puffin badge, but if you weren’t an early adopter (or weren’t born) you would be awarded the black Puffin badge for four continuous years of membership.

9. To encourage younger members, the Junior Puffin Club was founded with its own mascot, a baby puffin called Smudge, and its own magazine, The Egg.

10. Puffin Post included regular writing competitions, but in typical seventies educational style, if entries were not considered to be good enough, the Editor would let members know and there would be no winners announced. Harsh, but we like to think that’s what gave us early Puffin Club members the backbone we still enjoy today!

You can read more about puffins (of the feathery variety) on page 15 of our July issue.

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How to | Hula Hoop

Because it’s a skill everyone should be able to surprise their friends with

Our July cover photo had us all wanting to invest in a hula hoop and rotate our hips like hula-pros. So we thought we’d put together a short guide on how to get started with hula hooping.

1. Invest in the correct-sized hula hoop - you need one that comes up to your belly button when it is standing on the floor in front of you.

2. Once you have your hula hoop, hold it in front of you and step inside the hoop with your feet towards the back. Bring the hoop to your waist level with two hands and stand your feet shoulder width apart. 

3. Keep your body long and give the hoop a big flat spin and then start to push forwards and backwards. If you’re right-handed spin it anticlockwise. If you’re left-handed spin it clockwise. Keep your knees, chest and hips still and just move the belly and back if you can. 

4. Move your waist in a circular motion, moving your belly froward as it crosses your front and pushing backwards as it crosses your back. You need to move the part of your body you want the hoop to sit on and keep the other areas still as much as you can.

5. Put one foot in front of the other if it feels easier. If you feel the hoop starting to drop, go faster, or turn your body in the same direction as the hoop is moving while pushing faster. 

6. Once you’ve got the momentum and you can do a few hoops, you can start being fancy. Try taking a step forward and back or moving across the room. Try these tricks for beginners if you like.

More skills to learn…

More from our July issue…

Four fictional bookshops

Join us as we browse the shelves of our favourite fictional bookshops

Is there a better place to spend a quiet afternoon than browsing in a really lovely bookshop? One with an expansive fiction section but also some surprises: maybe a really good maps or travel corner or a shelf of cookery books that you can lose an hour in. Browsing in bookshops has been one of the things we have missed most during lockdown, so we’re pleased to see them beginning to open up.

This week is Independent Bookshops week and there are many ways to support your local emporium of words, from buying books from them online or over the phone to purchasing book tokens to be spent there in the future when browsing will hopefully be back to normal. In the meantime, we’ve been reminiscing about our favourite bookshops from books, TV and films. Here are a few we remember fondly…

Marks & Co

Located at the eponymous 84, Charing Cross Road, Marks & Co is a bit of an interloper in this list, as it wasn’t fictional at all. But it’s surely one of the most famous bookshops from a book ever to exist so we had to include it here. For those who haven’t yet read it (and it is a case of yet - you really must read it) the book is a collection of letters between the author, Helene Hanff, and the staff of Marks & Co, primarily Frank Doel. New Yorker Hanff wrote to the bookshop having heard they were specialists in out of print books, to ask for a number of titles she couldn’t get in the US. From there began a correspondence that spanned two decades. Sadly, by the time Helene made it to England the shop had just closed its doors for the final time, but the shop lives on in her book which was eventually published in 1971 and later became a film (starring Anthony Hopkins and Anne Bancroft) and a screenplay. 

Black Books

This warm early noughties sit com, created by Dylan Moran and Graham Linehan, followed the lives of irascible bookshop owner Bernard Black, his assistant Manny and friend and neighbour Fran. The real star of the show, however, was the London bookshop itself. Infested with vermin and other creatures unknown, filthy to the extent of being unlivable, and languishing in a permanent fug of Bernard’s cigarette smoke and alcohol fumes, for some reason we all wanted to own Black Books, too. We’re still not sure why, but there it is. 

The Travel Book Co

William Thacker’s (Hugh Grant’s) bookshop in the film Notting Hill was a charming emporium with the sort of romantic atmosphere that only comes with being in a beautiful building surrounded by enchanting tales from across the globe. So it’s no wonder American superstar Ann falls for the slightly bumbling English eccentric Will. We’d probably all be endlessly attractive if we all owned such as bookshop. The real-life location (142 Portobello Road) has actually never been a bookstore, but The Travel Book Co was based on the real-life Travel Bookshop nearby at 13 Blenheim Crescent. 

Flourish and Blotts

No bookshop makes us want to go straight back to school more than Flourish & Blotts of Diagon Alley from the Harry Potter stories: ‘The shelves were packed to the ceiling with books as large as paving stones bound in leather, books the size of postage stamps covered in silk, books full of peculiar symbols and a few books with nothing in them at all…’ The owners are regularly confounded by titles such as The Invisible Book of Invisibility, which appears never to have turned up, and The Monster Book of Monsters, copies of which attack the manager and tear each other to pieces. Just magic. 

More bookshops to make you joyful…