Vote | for your favourite Quality Street

Do you go straight for the Strawberry Delight or are you a die-hard Toffee Penny fan? Join our very scientific research project to help us pinpoint The Simple Things’ readers’ favourite?

In our December issue' Miscellany, we’ve taken an irreverent look at our favourite Quality Street chocolate. But these things require serious consideration, too. If you thought the biggest vote of December 2019 was the general election, think again.

There were strong feelings in the office, with the Coconut Eclair being perhaps the most divisive, so we’re putting the vote to you. Tell us which your favourite Quality Street is by clicking on your favourite below.

Crabbing for grown-ups

Get your claws into this most summery of seaside activities

Summer time-wasting shouldn’t be the preserve of children. Rockpooling, building sandcastles and climbing trees are all noble pursuits that every adult should have the pleasure of indulging in, too. And there’s little more fun that grabbing a bucket and a line and going crabbing. Here’s how to do it properly.

Crabbing kit:

A bucket

A line (you can buy proprietary crabbing lines in most buckets-and-spades shops by the sea but any bit of string or line will do. You can add your own bag for putting bait in using an old washing tablet bag, washed out and something tied on for a weight). Never use a line with a hook on.

Some tasty crab bait. Bacon is good - they especially love the rind - or sardines

A net 

A lovely picnic lunch 

A friend (optional)

Where to go crabbing

Crabs like tidal waters and you need somewhere you can drop your line easily, such as a quayside. A nice spot where you can sit and dangle your legs over the harbour wall is always lovely. If you’re likely to get over-excited, look for a location with a waist-height wall that might prevent you enjoying a wild swim on the same day. 

Check locally that crabbing is allowed or ask the harbour master so you don’t irritate local fishermen.

How to crab well

1. Pop down to the water’s edge with your bucket and fill the bucket with sea water. Crabs do not like tap water.

2. Add a couple of big rocks and a bit of seaweed, if you can find it, to give the crabs a bit of shade and somewhere to hide while they’re in your bucket. Keep the bucket in shade while you have the crabs in there, too. 

3. Tie some bait onto your line or put it in the net bag. Large bacon lardons are crab favourites, particularly the rindy bits.

4. Drop your line into the water, sit down and make yourself comfortable. 

5. If you feel any tugging, very gently pull up your line. If you can see any crabs hanging on enjoying a snack, scoop your net underneath them so they don’t drop off and transfer them to your bucket.

6. Never have more than ten crabs in the bucket at the time - they get on each others’ nerves a bit. If any start fighting, put them back in at once. 

7. When you’ve got a few in there you can sit down and watch them scuttling around sideways, peering out at you and generally getting on with their crabby business. They’re fascinating crustaceany creatures. You can give them names, pick them up, either with one finger on the top of the shell and one on the bottom, or holding them either side of the shell, to have a good look at them, and get to know them a bit better, but obviously be gentle and don’t have them hanging about in your hands too long.

8. Try not to leave your crabs in the bucket longer than ten minutes. When it’s time to put them back always go down to the water’s edge. Throwing them over the quayside will stress them out and they could even be hurt. At the water’s edge, tip them out gently onto the sand or rocks and watch them scuttle back into the water. 

9. Change your water before dropping your line again to ensure there’s plenty of oxygen in it for your next catch.

Gone Crabbing is a shop in Burnham Deepdale, Norfolk, which has a useful crabbing guide on its website. you by Googling ‘where to go crabbing near me’. You’ll be surprised how many spots there are at your nearest stretch of coast or estuary. 

In our August issue, we are appreciating the crab in our regular Magical Creatures slot. Pick up a copy in shops now. And if all that crabbing has made you hungry, we have a delicious recipe for crab burgers in the same issue. Probably best to buy your crab meat locally. It seems rude to eat something you’ve shared a pleasant afternoon with. 

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More from our August issue…

More summer fun for grown-ups…

How to | win at outdoor Scrabble

Get your game face on. Here’s how to win with words this summer

We do love a board game here at The Simple Things, and we see no reason not to continue playing board games just because the warmer weather is here. Weren’t the best days at school those summer days when you were allowed to take your work outside onto the field, after all? 

So gather up your scrabble, Cluedo and Monopoly and take them out into the garden. A bit of fresh air should inspire your gaming brain and if you’re lucky, the sun will addle your competitors’ brains, giving you the edge.

To give you a headstart on all the fun, we’ve collated the highest scoring words of every length in Scrabble. Learn these off by heart and don’t tell any of your gaming competitors. 

Nine letters

An EXOENZYME is an enzyme that is secreted by a cell and functions outside of that cell. On the Scrabble board (without any double or triple letter word scores, even) it will win you 30 points.

Eight letters

SOVKHOZY - the plural for a state-owned farm in Russia. Earns 30 points. 

Seven letters* 

The highest scoring seven-letter word in Scrabble is MUZJIKS. The word refers to Russian peasants, particularly pre-1917 and scores 29 points. 

Six letters

Slightly disappointingly, the highest score achievable is for MUZJIK (see seven letters), which scores 28. If you feel that’s too much like cheating you could try QUACKY for 24 points.

Five letters

ZIPPY (as in speedy) will score you 21 points (and get rid of that tricky ‘z’. 

Four letters

Cleverly, QUIZ earns 22 points, giving you more bang for your buck with four letters than you could earn with five!

Three letters

You’ll score 19 points with ZAX, which is a tool for trimming and puncturing roof slates. So now you know.

Two letters

Both ZA and QI will score you 11 points with only two tiles. We were suspicious about ‘za’. Apparently, it’s a shortened term for ‘pizza’, which sounds highly dubious to us, but it is in fact in the Scrabble dictionary. Qi (pronounced ‘chee’) is, of course, the vital force that is inherent in all things, according to Chinese wisdom. You can add an ‘s’ to both Za and Qi, too, and it wouldn’t be qi-ting at all!

*Don’t forget if you play all seven of your tiles at once you earn an additional 50 points. 

If you’re really struck by the idea of outdoor board games, buy our August ‘Pause’ issue, which has instructions on p124 for making your own giant outdoor Scrabble set.

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More from our August issue…

More fun and games…

The rules of petanque

Nothing quite says summer like the clink of pétanque balls. Lager and Gallic shrugs optional

Pétanque (or boules) is played in two teams with two sets of differently marked boules. You can play in teams of two (3 boules each); three (2 each) or one against one (3 each).

1 Draw a circle on the ground (or use a coiled rope), 50cm in diameter.

2 A player from team one stands in the circle and throws the jack (the wooden boule) to land 6-10m from the rope, a metre away from any other object. Team one throws a first boule as close as possible to the jack.

3 A player from team two tries to get a boule closer. If successful they ‘have the point’ and play returns to team one. If not, they continue to throw until they do and play passes back.

4 Play continues until one team has played all their boules. The other team then throws the rest of their boules.

5 The team with the closest boule to the jack wins and gets a point for each of their boules closer to the jack than the other team’s nearest boule.

6 The winning team draws a new circle round the jack and throws it to start the next round. Play ends when one team reaches 13 points.

You will find lots more fun for outdoor gatherings in our July ‘Embrace’ issue. It’s in shops now.

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More from our July issue…

More fun for outdoors…

Game: Charlie and the Chocolate Factory Puzzler

Match the children who visited the factory to their grisly, confectionery fates

Here’s a little brainteaser for Easter. Five children won Golden Tickets to visit Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory in Roald Dahl’s Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. But can you match the child to their fate in the plot? Scroll down for the solution.

1 Augustus Gloop

2. Verruca Salt

3. Mike Teavee

4. Violet Beauregarde

5. Charlie Bucket

a) Becomes a giant blueberry

b) Inherits the factory

c) Is declared to be a ‘bad nut’ by the squirrels in the nut room and thrown down a rubbish chute

d) Falls into the chocolate river and is sucked up the pipe into the fudge room’s mixing machine

e) Is shrunk by a miniaturisation machine and then stretched back in the gum stretching room, but leaves the factory 10 feet tall.

In our April issue, our Outing feature is all about chocolate. While you sadly can’t visit Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory yourself, you can visit the Cadbury factory (pictured above) that inspired Dahl. Just don’t go drinking from the chocolate river.

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Answers: 1d; 2c; 3e; 4a; 5b

More from our April issue…

Chocolatey recipes for big kids…