Fun | Gothic Book Title Generator

Fancy penning a spooky novel but can’t quite get going with it? Let us start you off by coming up with a title for your book.

Simply select from the lists below the first letter of your first name, the month you were born and the first letter of your surname and find out what your Gothic novel should be called. So, for example, If you were called Jane Robinson and you were born in June your book would be called ‘The Trees of Fearful Waters’. There. You’re planning your Booker Prize acceptance speech already, aren’t you?

First pick your opening noun using the first letter of your first name:

a- The Castle. b - The Woman. c - The Curse. d - The Mystery. e - The Darkness. f - The Devil. g - The Man.
h - The Caves. i - The Bridge. j - The Trees. k - The Legend. l - The Tale. m - The Skulls. n - The Secret.
o - The Rats. p - The Vampire. q - The Monster. r - The Ghost. s - The Murmuring. t - The Clouds. u - The Birds. v - The Hounds. w - The Dagger. x - The Heart. y - The Cloak. z - The Creature.

Next pick your adjective by the month of your birth:

January - of Everlasting. February - of Dark. March - of Eerie. April - of Howling. May - of Terrible. June - of Fearful. July - of Satanic. August - of Bloody. September - of Haunted. October - of Cold. November - of Ancient. December - of Murderous.

Finally, pick your closing noun using the first letter of your surname:

a - Horror. b - Crows. c- Hollow. d - Terror. e - Churches. f - Spirits. g - Fear. h - Mists. i - Memories.
j - Sobs. k - Screams. l - Books. m - Dungeons. n - Runes. o - Moors. p - Valley. q - Forest. r - Waters.
s - Dreams. t - Fires. u - Spells. v - Rituals. w - House. x - Manor. y - Grave. z - History.

Why we all love a scary story

There’s nothing new about spooky tales of course. Ghost stories have been an important part of folklore for as long as stories have been told and our oldest myths contain monsters. The act of sharing a story and getting scared together is an age-old bonding experience, a way of being afraid but also having fun. Fear isn’t always an unpleasant emotion, especially if we can see it through and reach a resolution. When we experience fear, we get a surge of adrenaline and endorphins which awaken all our senses and give us a rush of energy. After the moment has passed and we’re no longer afraid, we relax and experience a flood of post-horror calm.

Read more about why scary stories are good for us in our Wellbeing feature, Little Shot of Horror in our October issue. And if you pen that spooky story, please do share it with us so we can enjoy being vicariously frightened!

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More from our October issue…

A few more things to scare your socks off (in a good way)

Primer | Know Your Apples

Whether browsing at a market or selecting from an orchard, apple ID is essential. Here’s our field (well, orchard) guide to the best of the crop

George Cave
What George lacks in aroma he makes up for in intensity: a crisp, sharp bite gives way to a gently sweet mouthful, not overly juicy.

Grenadier
The gnarled, knobbled skin may give this cooking apple a battle-weary appearance, but beneath the rugged armour there’s a yielding, creamy flesh, ideal for sauces and chutneys.

D’arcy Spice
The ultimate coleslaw/cheeseboard apple offers firm, crisp flesh gently infused with subtle, sophisticated undertones of star anise, clove and white pepper.

Howgate Wonder
Sweet, firm and only mildly acidic, this waxy-fleshed, blushing beauty keeps well, cooks well and makes a proper pie.

James Grieve
Take a bite of this crisp, juicy beauty fresh off the tree in late July and the acidic overtones may induce a wince. Allow James to mellow until at least September, however, and he offers an altogether softer, creamier mouthful.

Chelmsford Wonder
Softish flesh reminiscent of macadamia nuts yields distinctly Chardonnay-esque flavours, sophisticated only gently acidic.

Lane’s Prince Albert
A winter-season treat, offering substantial character that brings real personality to a crumble and delivers complexity to chutney.

Margil
Widely acclaimed by apple connoisseurs for its firm, crisp bite and highly aromatic, candyfloss overtones – to cook with the Margil would be a crime.

Pam’s Delight
This red-tinged beauty is a lunchbox classic, juicy enough to quench thirst and sweet enough to curb sugar cravings.

Beauty of Bath
Blink as this one falls from the tree and you’ll miss the best bite of this soft, sensual beauty featuring pink-tinged, creamy flesh with an almost strawberry flavour.

Peasgood’s Nonsuch
This big, sturdy stalwart delivers a densely characterful flavour-punch, good teamed with cheddar cheese or cooked in a pie.

Apple Day is celebrated on 21st October but there are apple-related events all over the country this weekend. The primer above is taken from our feature, The Apples of Our Eye in our October issue, which is on sale now. It was originally published in the first ever issue of The Simple Things and we’ve reprinted it to make our 10th birthday! Because simple things like apple picking never cease to be good fun!

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More apple inspiration…

More from our October issue…

For Fun | Spine Poems

Poetry can be found in the most surprising places. See if you can spot some in the wild

The wonderful thing about poetry is that you can find it anywhere. Look around you and you’ll find words creating images in billboards, graffiti, on cereal packets... A well-crafted poem is a thing of beauty, certainly, but ‘found’ poetry is somehow more magical: two words that accidentally rhyme, or mirror each other, or simply form a new meaning, having collided completely by accident feels like a happy secret. 

In our October issue, our ‘Gallery’ feature took images from the book Spine Poems by Annette Dauphin Simon (Harper Design). Spine Poetry (see the one above) began as a game in a Florida bookshop when Annette and her colleagues would compete to spot the hidden poetry in the spines of randomly stacked books. So the one pictured above reads:

Like my father always said

Listen to your mother

Listen to your heart

Listen to your Gut.

What’s for dinner?

Clever, isn’t it? You can read a few more of the Spine Poems from page 44 of the October issue. We were so enchanted by the idea, we thought we’d see what a Simple Things Spine Poem from the last 12 months would look like. For those who don’t keep their back issues lined up beautifully on their book shelves, here’s our Spine Poem taken from the magazine’s spines from last November to this October. 

Building Bonfires & making gifts

Taking time to live well

Candles & clementines

Snowdrops & seedheads

Bunches of flowers & sunny day cycling

Easter chocolate & spring adventures

Floral dresses & being outdoors

Salad days & summer nights

Lavender fields & lemon spritzers

Jolly sunflowers & going barefoot

Ripe tomatoes & trying something new

Birthday cake & gathering seeds

We’d love to see your spine poems, too. Do snap a picture and comment on our blog or tag us on your social media with your own Spine Poem pictures. 

Image taken from Spine Poems by Annette Dauphin Simon (Harper Design) which is released on 13 October and can be ordered now.

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Make | Conker Laundry Soap

Gather up your champion conkers and give them a new life as a laundrette

Horse chestnuts contain lots of saponin – an organic chemical with a name that’s a clue as to why they’re useful: sapon is ‘soap’ in Latin. While it won’t zap the toughest of stains, this homemade liquid is an economic and eco way for more everyday washing.

The prep: 

• Gather your conkers (about a handful per wash load).
• Remove the outer brown layer, then quarter. 

• Blitz into small pieces in a blender or bash with a rolling pin through a tea towel (Wash any kitchen implements very carefully afterwards as conkers are poisonous to humans). 

• Leave the mixture to dry somewhere like an airing cupboard or windowsill. 

• Once completely dry, store in an airtight jar ready to use. (You can buy ready made ‘washkers’ at watercressqueen.company.site/products)

The wash

• Boil a kettle and add double the quantity of water to the mix used. 

• Steep for at least 30 mins. 

• Filter the liquid through a muslin. The used bits can go in your food waste/compost.
• Use the liquid as you would a normal laundry liquid (add a couple of drops of essential oil if you like it scented).
• Any leftover liquid can be kept in the fridge for a week. 

This Horse Chestnut Laundry Wash is just one of the fascinating ideas from our October Miscellany pages. Turn to page 117 of the October issue to read more miscellaneous things from puzzles and paperweights to turnip carving and foraging for fungi. 

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More autumnal fun…

More from our October issue…

Make | Heather Biscotti

These biscuits, from The Hebridean Baker by Coinneach Macleod are the invention of Amanda who runs the Temple, a beautiful café in Northton on the Isle of Harris. Bringing a Scottish twist to these Italian baked biscuits… maybe we should call them biscotty?

This recipe calls for dried heather, which can be made by cutting the spikes of flowers while they’re still in bud, then hanging them to dry in small bunches out of direct sunlight.

Makes enough to share

40g whole hazelnuts

355g plain flour

1½ tsp baking powder

Pinch of salt

105g caster sugar

150g light brown sugar

3 eggs

½ tsp almond extract

85g olive oil

1 heaped tsp dried heather flowers

Zest of ½ orange

1 Preheat the oven to 160C/Fan 140C/Gas 2-3. Place the hazelnuts on a tray and toast lightly in the oven for 5 mins, then leave to cool.

2 Once cool, add the nuts to a bowl along with the flour, baking powder, salt, both kinds of sugar and combine.

3 Blend together the eggs, almond extract and olive oil then add half the heather flowers and half the orange zest and stir together.

4 Add the dry ingredients to the wet and mix until well combined – it’ll be a sticky dough. Let it sit in the bowl for about 10 mins as this helps to make it more manageable to shape.

5 Meanwhile, line a baking tray with baking paper. Wet your hands to avoid the dough sticking to them and roll it into logs, each about 25cm long. Place on the baking tray and sprinkle with the remaining heather and zest.

6 Bake for about 20 mins until golden. Remove and allow to cool for 10 mins.

7 Reduce the oven temperature to 150C/Fan 130C/Gas 2. Slice the biscotti into 12cm slices, then return to the oven and bake for 5 mins, turn over and bake for 5 mins more, or until golden. Place on a wire rack to cool and store in an airtight Kilner jar.

Taken from The Hebridean Baker: Recipes and Wee Stories from the Scottish Islands by Coinneach Macleod (Black & White Publishing). Photography: Euan Anderson. You can find more recipes by The Hebridean Baker in our October issue, including Bride’s Bron, Bramble Whisky and Bra Braw Buns.

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Recipe | Beetroot Linguine with Goat's Cheese and Garlic Crumb

There’s nothing subtle about this. It ’s outrageously pink and all the lovelier for it. The crumbs are a must: they add a crunchy contrast to the rich sauce and a salty kick to balance the sweet beetroot.

Serves 2

325g whole beetroot, washed
120g soft goat’s cheese, no rind
½ lemon, zest and juice
180g linguine
2 tbsp extra virgin olive oil
30g panko breadcrumbs
1 tbsp thyme leaves, chopped
2 large garlic cloves

1 Preheat the oven to 210C/Fan 190C/ Gas 6-7. Wrap each of the beetroot in foil and bake on a baking tray for 90 mins or until you can poke a skewer through without effort. Unwrap and leave to cool before peeling (the skin should just rub off).

2 Chop the beetroot into chunks and whizz in a blender until smooth. Tip the pur ée into a pan over a low heat and warm gently. Stir in half the goat’s cheese and all the lemon juice, season , then remove from the heat.

3 Cook the pasta according to pack instructions. Meanwhile, heat the olive oil in a frying pan over a medium-high heat. Add the breadcrumbs and thyme and fry for 2-3 mins, or until golden. Crush the garlic to a paste with a little salt and add to the pan with the lemon zest, fry for a further 1-2 mins. Set aside.

4 When the pasta is ready, use tongs to lift it, and any cooking water that clings to it, into the beetroot sauce. Stir to combine then pile onto warm plates. Top with the breadcrumbs and remaining goat’s cheese and serve. Cook’s note: The breadcrumb s and sauce can be made a day in advance, but the finished dish needs serving immediately, so it doesn’t go stodgy.

This recipe is just one of the ideas from our regular Veg Patch Pantry series, by Kathy Slack. @gluts_gluttony. In our October issue you’ll also find Kathy’s recipes for Cauliflower Mac and Cheese, Parsnip Soup and Pumpkin and Ginger Cake. for more deliciously seasonal ideas, you might like to buy Kathy’s book, From the Veg Patch or tune in to her podcast Tales From the Veg Patch, via her Instagram page.

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Book Group | The Book Thief

The Book Thief by Marcus Zusak

Share with your book group, read alone and join us virtually on The Simple Things sofa, or simply find a bit of inspiration.

Not many books are narrated by Death himself, and that gives this novel set in 1939 Germany a unique perspective. We follow Liesel, a little girl being sent away to live with strangers whose brother dies on the journey. She steals a book and so begins a lifetime of finding comfort and strength in the pages of books.

Questions to ponder
How does this book compare to wartime stories from a British perspective? Are the concerns similar?

Further reading
The Book of Lost Things by John Connolly also looks at the impact reading can have on us. It follows an orphaned child who lives in an attic room, surrounded by books that have begun to whisper to him…

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Cake | Things to Sandwich Inside a Sandwich Cake

We’re celebrating the tenth birthday of The Simple Things this month, with this delicious blackberry and white chocolate sandwich cake, designed, made and photographed by Catherine Frawley. Why had we never thought of the winning combination of blackberry and white chocolate before, we ask ourselves?

While we were blowing out our candles, we got to thinking that there must be lots more winning combinations and things we had not previously considered sandwiching in a sandwich cake! A classic Victoria Sponge with raspberry jam and cream is always a winner, but the sky really is the limit here. We’ve put together a few ideas for sandwich cake fillings, as well as some suggestions on cake flavours to pair the fillings with. Pass the cake forks round, please!

• ·       Passion fruit curd – goes well with orange cake

• ·       Toasted marshmallows (or marshmallow spread in a jar) – goes well with chocolate cake

• ·       Whole Maltesers and buttercream – goes well with salted caramel cake

• ·       Cookie dough – goes well with chocolate chip cake

• ·       Eton mess (cream, crushed meringue and chopped strawberries) – goes well with a vanilla sponge

• ·       Blueberry curd – goes well with lemon cake

• ·       Coffee butter cream (mix some espresso powder into the cream – goes well with walnut cake

• ·       Marmalade – Goes well with white chocolate cake

Happy baking! And if you’d like to cook Catherine’s cake, pictured here, you can find it in our October issue on page 22.

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Playlist | Harvest

DJ: Frances Ambler
Image: Shutterstock

“Now we’re gonna live, now we’re going to work it out, the pain is now over and the harvest is here”

Take a listen here
And browse our back issue playlists here