Quiz | Your Fictional Christmas Persona

Grab a sherry, a snack and a quiet half and hour and take part in our fun, festive quiz to discover who
your fictional Christmas persona is…

1. When do you usually start planning for Christmas?
A Usually just in the nick of time.
B I’ve been ticking off the sleeps since summer ended.
C When the first frost arrives.
D It’s Christmas? Oops. When do the shops shut?
E Plans? Well, for planning I care not a jot
The plans that I plan you’d call more of a plot!

2. When does your tree go up?
A Not until all the family are home to do it together.
B On Christmas Eve, as is traditional and correct, of course!
C I prefer to put some outdoor lights around a few of the firs in the garden. All those trinkets indoors make me feel a bit giddy.
D I’ve usually got quite a lot on my plate. Hopefully my other half will get it sorted.
E I steal all the tinsel as soon as I durst,
And I stuff up the tree on December the first.

3. Favourite Christmas food or tipple?
A A flaming rum punch, no, wait!… A mulled wine, extra heavy on the cinnamon.
B Sugar plums dusted with icing sugar and bowls of golden nuts.
C A simple candlelit supper does it for me, or a winter picnic outdoors.
D A whisky Mac.
E I never try anything far too ambitious,
But a simple roast beast is always delicious.

4. What would your ideal Christmas gift be?
A I’d always go for an ‘experience’ type of gift, something that would allow me to spend time with those that I love.
B Something beautiful and magical – a snow globe or a music box? Something that’s well-crafted, which I can treasure.
C A really simple but lovely hat and scarf to keep me toasty outside.
D A pair of socks. Or some slippers. Actually, anything wardrobe-based really, I seem to be running low on everything. And a German phrasebook.
E I don’t get many gifts, which I find quite upsetting.
Christmas for me is all about GETTING!

5. What’s your favourite part of the festivities?
A Listening to the bells ring after Midnight Mass and remembering what it’s all really about.
B The anticipation of Christmas Eve as family arrive and the tree sparkles, packed with presents.
C A walk out in the cold first thing on Christmas morning while everyone else sleeps on.
D Finally getting home from work and putting my feet up. But I like to keep moving over the holiday, too, with some blustery walks out at the coast and a bit of hill walking.
E Not a lot about Christmas impresses me truly
But I do like the chance to be wild and unruly.

6. What’s your Christmas tradition?
A Putting the angel at the top of the tree with my loved ones.
B A trip to the ballet. Always beautiful at this time of year!
C I much prefer to celebrate Midwinter. Usually an outdoor gathering with friends and plenty of fresh air.
D A quiet whisky by myself in my favourite chair before dealing with the hordes of uninvited guests.
E On Christmas Eve night in homage to St Nick
I sneak out of my house and I trick a few tricks.

7. What do you find most tricky about this time of year?
A Wanting to be able to make everyone else happy.
B Getting to sleep on Christmas Eve. It’s just all too exciting!
C Accepting that this special time is all over in the blink of an eye. Nothing lasts forever.
D The public displays of affection and keeping track of the names of everyone you meet at parties.
E The singing, the squealing of girls and of boys,
It’s not the children I loathe, it’s the noise, noise, noise, NOISE!

8. How do you feel once it’s all over?
A Tired but happy, and looking forward to a new year.
B A little melancholy that all the magic is over for another year.
C Christmas is only part of the celebrations. I love the hygge aspect of it and enjoy the dark evenings until spring arrives.
D Exhausted, relieved and in need of a long lie down.
E Having carped about Christmas I will often admit
I find I rather like it, at least a small little bit

Now add up the numbers of As, Bs, Cs etc and scroll down to find out which Christmas character you are.

MOSTLY As Clarence Odbody, the imperfect Christmas fixer
Clarence Odbody is the angel (second class) from It’s a Wonderful Life. While a little way off being positively saintly, you do your best, and for you, this season is all about family, friends and the true meaning of Christmas. You love connecting with those close to you at this time of year. Remember to take some time just for you, though. There’s nothing wrong with a few frivolous pleasures and you deserve to be as happy as the people around you that you work so hard for.

MOSTLY Bs Clara from The Nutcracker, the bringer of the magic
A lover of the magic of Christmas, a little part of your Christmas self never progressed from being six years old – in a good way! The people you spend this time with value you for your never-ending enthusiasm, your unsurpassed mince pies and your wish to always ‘do things properly’ and immerse yourself in the seasonal spirit.

MOSTLY Cs The Snowman, the outdoorsy type
Raymond Briggs’ frosty creation, you feel a need to be out in nature at this time of year. You love the quiet and the dark perhaps more than all the gaudy baubles and lights indoors – and your ideal winter days are spent out in the fresh air noticing how nature persists, even in the coldest months. Your Christmas style can best be described as Hyggelig; a little bit Scandi and pared back, with greenery in abundance. Much as you enjoy the outdoors, you still love coming back to the warmth of your home and gazing into the fire.

MOSTLY Ds John McClane, hero of Die Hard, the festive triumpher over adversity
It’s fair to say John McClane (played by Bruce Willis) doesn’t have an easy Christmas Eve. You might also feel as though the festivities are an insurmountable task and events always seem to conspire against you at this time of year (albeit with less gunfire). Remember you don’t have to take on every task that gets thrown your way; it’s fine to delegate or just decide not everything is getting done. No one will notice (assuming you’re not in a hostage situation like John, of course).

MOSTLY Es The Grinch, the humbug who, secretly, quite likes it all
You find the festive season a bit much and the irritation of it all can bring out your mischievous side. Whatever the reason why, we’d hazard a guess that, unlike the Grinch, it’s not that your heart is two sizes too small. Find the bits of Christmas that you love and throw yourself into them, whether that’s country walks, a phone call with an old friend, or sitting down with a new book. Once the festivities are over, you’ll likely find that, actually, you had a lovely time.

More festive fun for you…

From our December issue…

Go | Lands of make believe

Festive fictional settings that have made their way onto our travel bucket list

One of the best things about Christmas is getting to revisit the familiar fictional places we associate with the season… From Charles Dickens’ London as we walk in Scrooge’s footsteps, to Nelson Mandela House as Delboy and Rodney prepare to sell their ‘telescopic Christmas trees’. From Mrs Prothero’s garden in Dylan Thomas’s ‘A Child’s Christmas in Wales’ to Kevin McCallister’s suburban Chicago house as he is left ‘Home Alone’.

As we put together our December issue, the staff of The Simple Things wrote about the Christmassy books, films, TV shows, podcasts and more that we love to revisit every year. And we want to know what yours are too. They don’t need to be Christmassy. We’d just love to hear about the fictional place you would visit if you could, from Narnia to Neverland.

To get you in the spirit, Iona Bower, our Editor at large, waxes lyrical below about the Box of Delights and how she loves to revisit Tatchester in the run-up to Christmas each year. You can read the rest of our favourite fictional places in the December issue in our feature ‘Watch with Santa’.

Christmas for me is all about the anticipation. A big part of that is a 1984 children’s TV series. I was six when The Box of Delights (based on John Masefield’s book) first aired, beginning on 19 November and running each week until Christmas Eve. And I try to watch it on those same dates each year. Kay Harker is on his way home for Christmas when he encounters twinkly-eyed Cole Hawlings and his Box of Delights, leading to all sorts of thrilling adventures that children today would scoff at but which left me open-mouthed. All the time, snow falls and carols sing on in the background. The opening titles music is perhaps the most Christmassy thing you will ever hear. Every year when I put on a log fire and hear those strings, I’m six again. When dreams might be real and all that matters is Kay getting to Tatchester Cathedral on Christmas Eve, in time to save the whole festive season.

Do post your favourite fictional destinations, whether festive or no, in the comments below or let us know about them on Facebook or Instagram.

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More from our December issue…

More things for lovers of make-believe …

Meet the donkeys of the New Forest

Long-eared lovelies that inspire festive feelings in us all

In our December issue, we have an essay in our magical creatures series about the donkey, an animal close to our hearts, and never more than at this time of year.

But while, as George Orwell once said (almost), all donkeys are equal, but some are more equal than others.

The wild donkeys of the New Forest are just a little bit special and the area is one of the best places in Britain to see donkeys in the wild. The forest is best known for its wild ponies (and is also home to wild pigs and cows) but its 200 wild donkeys are a real treat to spot.

They are hardy enough to survive all year round in the New Forest, but according to the New Forest’s management,  they aren’t always popular with the neighbours and are regularly found scoffing hedges, trees and bushes around neighbouring properties. The more enterprising among them are apparently often to be found at the Foresters’ Arms in Frogham and other local ale yards and hostelries. In the village of Beaulieu they apparently gather around the Montagu Arms. Presumably when they emerge after a few ales they are wonky donkeys?

Once, a New Forest donkey wandered uninvited into a branch of Tesco, much to the amusement of Brockenhurst residents. He was found, standing in the middle of the store, looking around him in a bemused fashion. Staff managed to shoo him out by banging shopping baskets together, which goes to show what a hard time donkeys have, we think. When they’re not carrying pregnant virgins to packed inns, they’re being brutally evicted from supermarkets in the middle of a quiet look at the biscuit aisle.

So here’s to the New Forest donkeys, reminding us once more why their kind are as Christmassy as crackers and sherry, and just as cheering, too.

If you’re in the area this Christmas give them a pat and a carrot from us - but don’t give them your shopping list. They can’t be trusted.

Read more about donkeys in Magical Creatures, in our December issue, on sale now.

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More winterspiration…

More from our December issue…

Recipe: Fig and pomegranate rum trifle

You’ve got to have a trifle - it’s Christmas!

Serves 8–10

300ml pomegranate juice
3 shots rum*
600g Madeira cake
16 figs
Seeds from 1⁄2 pomegranate
600ml double cream
2 x 500g pots fresh custard
Edible gold leaf, to decorate (optional)

1 Mix the pomegranate juice with 2 shots of the rum in a bowl. Chop the cake into chunks and dip briefly into the rum and juice mixture before layering into the bottom of a glass trifle bowl. Halve six of the figs and arrange, cut side facing out, around the side of the bowl.
2 Scoop out the flesh from the remaining figs and chop finely, before mixing with the last shot of rum. Spoon the mixture over the sponge and top with a sprinkling of pomegranate seeds, reserving enough to decorate the trifle.
3 Just before serving, whisk the cream to soft peaks. Use a little of the whipped cream to create a thin barrier over the boozy fig mixture. This will keep your decorative fig halves free of custard.
4 Spoon over the custard, followed by the rest the whipped cream. Sprinkle with the reserved pomegranate seeds and some edible gold leaf, if using.

*To make your trifle family friendly, replace the rum with an extra 75ml pomegranate juice

Turn to page 36 of December's The Simple Things for more of our pot luck pleasures feast, including:

Rosehip and blood orange punch
Red onion, goats’ cheese and walnut tart
Chicory, pear, stilton and pecan salad
Salmon en croûte with dill sauce
Honey and sage roast root vegetables
Clementine and chocolate bread and butter pudding

More from the December issue:

More Christmas recipes:

Get hold of your copy of this month's The Simple Things - buy, download or subscribe

View the sampler here.

 

Listen: Christmas playlist

Seasonal tracks chosen by The Simple Things team

Listen to our December playlist: Christmas songs

More playlists:

More from the December issue:

Get hold of your copy of this month's The Simple Things - buy, download or subscribe

View the sampler here