Knowing how to make a good apology is good for both the giver and the receiver of the ‘sorry’

Whether you have regrets you wish to make amends for, or simply want to express solidarity and sympathy for a no-blame situation, knowing ‘how’ to apologise well is key. Sorry might be the hardest word but giving it your all and doing it properly can make it feel so much easier and hopefully allow both parties to move on positively. Here are a few things to bear in mind before you begin…

Avoid over-use of “sorry”. The habitual “I’m sorry” detracts from meaningful and needed apologies.
Ask for the other person’s perspective and listen to it. Understanding their point of view can help you to both make sense of the situation.
Forget about blame and whose fault it is or was; an apology needn’t be an admission of guilt.
Show empathy by making it about the other person, not you. “I realise that something has upset you, and I’m sorry.”
Use an apology as an opportunity for positive change rather than simply as a plea for forgiveness.
Make any intentions to change as concrete and as realistic as possible.

The advice above is taken from our feature, ‘Making Amends’ by Rebecca Frank in our March issue.

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