The Simple Things

Taking time to live well
  • Home
  • Subscribe
  • SHOP
  • Newsletter
  • About
  • Work with us
  • Home
  • Subscribe
  • SHOP
  • Newsletter
  • About
  • Work with us

Blog

Taking Time to Live Well

  • All
  • Chalkboard
  • Christmas
  • Competition
  • could do
  • Eating
  • Escape
  • Escaping
  • Fresh
  • Fun
  • gardening
  • Gathered
  • Gathering
  • Growing
  • Haikus
  • Interview
  • Living
  • Looking back
  • Magazine
  • magical creatures
  • Making
  • Miscellany
  • My Neighbourhood
  • Nature
  • Nest
  • Nesting
  • outing
  • playlist
  • Reader event
  • Reader offer
  • Shop
  • Sponsored post
  • Sunday Best
  • Think
  • Uncategorized
  • Wellbeing
  • Wisdom
panto.jpg

Fun | the season's groaniest panto jokes

Iona Bower December 28, 2019

It’s that time of year again (oh no, it isn’t!) Here are some of the panto world’s cheesiest jokes to bring a smile to grey January days

In our January issue’s Cups of Tea page, we spoke to Tess Biles of The Theatre: Chipping Norton about what her day is like in cups of tea during panto season. 

Inspired by that, we’ve gathered together a few of our favourite panto jokes here. We hope you enjoy them as much as we did. And if you’re looking for our usually sophisticated Simple Things sense of humour… it’s BEHIND you!!


A pantomime horse walks into a bar. The barman says ‘Fancy a pint?’ The horse says ‘No, two halves, thanks.’


Q: What kind of pet did Aladdin have?
A: A flying car-pet.


Q: What’s beautiful, grey and wears glass slippers?
A: Cinerellephant.

Q: Who in Treasure Island has a parrot that cries "Pieces of four, Pieces of four " ?
A: Short John Silver !


Q: Why does Dick Whittington have a beard?
A: Because eight out of ten owners know that their cats prefer whiskers.


Q: What did Cinderella say when the chemist mislaid her photos?
A: Some day my prints will come.

 

And finally, a one-liner for panto time…

I used to have a job as a pantomime horse, but I quit while I was a head.

Buy this month's The Simple Things - buy, download or subscribe

More from our January issue…

Featured
back cover.JPG
Jan 22, 2020
January | a final thought
Jan 22, 2020
Jan 22, 2020
No more sick days bath soak Shutterstock.jpg
Jan 18, 2020
Make | No More Sick Days bath soak
Jan 18, 2020
Jan 18, 2020
Snow day pic Alamy.jpg
Jan 15, 2020
Winter | a suggested snow day timetable
Jan 15, 2020
Jan 15, 2020



More fun things to raise a smile…

Featured
FWILLIAMS_TILLYB_ORLA_FASHION_157.jpg
May 11, 2021
Design | characters who rock a stripe
May 11, 2021
May 11, 2021
Aisling Kirwan kitchen sink.jpg
Mar 9, 2021
Build your own | Kitchen Sink Drama
Mar 9, 2021
Mar 9, 2021
Steam punks 2.jpg
Jan 31, 2021
How to | Dress Like a Steampunk
Jan 31, 2021
Jan 31, 2021




InFun Tagsissue 91, January, pantomime, fun
  • Blog
  • Older
  • Newer
Featured
  Buy ,  download  or  subscribe   See the sample of our latest issue  here   Buy a copy of our latest anthology:  A Year of Celebrations   Buy a copy of  Flourish 2 , our wellbeing bookazine  Listen to  our podcast  - Small Ways to Live Well
Feb 27, 2025
Feb 27, 2025

Buy, download or subscribe

See the sample of our latest issue here

Buy a copy of our latest anthology: A Year of Celebrations

Buy a copy of Flourish 2, our wellbeing bookazine

Listen to our podcast - Small Ways to Live Well

Feb 27, 2025
Join our Newsletter
Name
Email *

We respect your privacy and won't share your data.

email marketing by activecampaign
facebook-unauth twitter pinterest spotify instagram
  • Subscriber Login
  • Stockists
  • Advertise
  • Contact

The Simple Things is published by Iceberg Press

The Simple Things

Taking time to live well

We celebrate slowing down, enjoying what you have, making the most of where you live, enjoying the company of of friends and family, and feeding them well. We like to grow some of our own vegetables, visit local markets, rummage for vintage finds, and decorate our home with the plunder. We love being outdoors and enjoy the satisfaction that comes with a job well done.

facebook-unauth twitter pinterest spotify instagram