Outing | Visit a Glasshouse

If you’re hankering to get out for a bit of lush greenery and a good blast of warm air, get thee to a glasshouse.

Glasshouses arrived in the 16th and 17th centuries as explorers began to bring back tropical plants. Of course, it was the Victorians who brought them to the middle-class masses, with their distinctive architecture, which you can still admire today in the palm houses of botanic gardens such as Kew and Belfast.

Dress for the environment with layers you can remove in the heat and take a bottle of water, too. If you want to make a day of it, modern versions, like the Eden Project, let you lose yourself in steamy walkways for hours. Smaller ones, like Sheffield’s Winter Garden, allow you to pop in from the grey February streets for a blast of tropical warmth.

You might see bananas, bromeliads and palms. Darwin’s Down House in Kent is home to a magnificent collection of carnivorous Sundews. Maybe you’ll be inspired to build your own small glasshouse or tiny terrarium when you get home.

This outing idea is taken from our February Almanac pages where we offer ideas for things to note and notice, plan and do each month.

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Plan | A 'Grand Tour'

In the spirit of rich young men (and occasionally women) of centuries gone by, why not spend a winter’s afternoon planning a route for a Grand Tour of Europe? 

Whether it’s simply an idle but enjoyable dream or the first step to making a European trip a reality, planning a big adventure is always time well spent. These days, it’s surprisingly easy to flit from one European city to the next and see a huge amount in just a week or two. Back in the days of Grand Tours it would have been the trip of a lifetime; something that would finish your education and perhaps inform a career. Or a life’s work if you were Canaletto. 

In our February issue, we found out just how easy it is to travel Europe by rail, and, in the spirit of the Grand Tour, we’ve taken it as inspiration for a more modern way to travel, with a contemporary Grand Tour Itinerary. But first, what was the Grand Tour, exactly? 

A rite of passage for many aristocratic young things from the 16th to the 19th centuries, a ‘Grand Tour’ was a way of exploring the art and culture of Europe. The idea was to come home well rounded, better educated and with an intriguing sense of culture about you, having picked up a few charming European habits, which you would crowbar into conversation wherever possible… ‘Ah yes, I started drinking espresso while I was in Venice, actually’... 

Usually, leaving from Dover, often with a tutor (and servants to carry your luggage if you were fortunate), you would first travel to France, taking in Calais and Paris, before moving on through Switzerland. Having crossed the Alps, much of your ‘tour’ would have been spent in Italian cities such as Turin, Florence, Rome, Pompeii and Venice. Usually one would return home through German cities, then Austria (of course stopping at Vienna) and through Flanders and Holland before crossing the sea back to England. 

With the advent of interrailing, the internet and underwear that can be hand washed in a basin and dries within hours, you can spread your wings a little further, of course. Here’s our suggested itinerary for a 2024 Grand Tour via Inter Rail. 

A Modern Grand Tour

There are endless itineraries you could use, but if time and money were no object, this would be our contemporary Grand Tour, taking in some traditional stops and many new ones that we don’t think any European Tour should be complete without. 

1. London

2. Paris

3. Barcelona

4. Nice

5. Monaco

6. Rome

7. Florence

8. Venice

9. Ljubljana

10. Salzburg

11. Budapest

12. Prague

13. Berlin

14. Hamburg

15. Malmo

16. Aarhus

17. Amsterdam

18. London

You could do just three countries at a time for a slower pace, or you can plan your very own itinerary on the Inter Rail website. Now all you have to do is find a tutor and some staff to follow you about carrying your luggage. Bon voyage!

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Outing | Railway Rambles

Old railway lines are accessible, easy to follow and a pleasure to roam

The UK has more than 4,000 miles of ex railway lines, criss-crossing the country, that are there to be used by walkers. Most came about as a result of the Beeching Report in 1963, which closed down swathes of the rail network. Many of the routes eventually were reclaimed for public use by walkers and cyclists and remain so to this day. 

Railway routes are wonderful for walking on. They’re largely straight, often smooth and raised up a little, so they drain well, meaning no muddy boots. Because they’re such easy terrain, they’re accessible to all, regardless of age or ability. They’re also easy to navigate and hard to get lost on so you don’t even need to take a map. Next time you’re thinking of a good walk, maybe consider a railway ramble instead. Here are a few spots around the country where you can do just that. 

The Camel Trail, Cornwall

This railway once ran between Padstow and Wendfordbridge along the Camel Estuary and was used to transport sand from the estuary to inland farms. It’s great for bird watchers and passes through beautiful countryside. Poet John Betjeman called it “the most beautiful railway journey I know” and it’s still pretty lovely today. 

Parkland Walk, London

This path was once the Finsbury Park to Alexandra Palace rail route and passes through the former Crouch End station (pictured above). It has wonderful views over London from the top of the hill at Ally Pally. 

The Mawddach Trail, Wales

Following the southern edge of the Mawddach estuary, this route runs from Barmouth to Dolgellau through Snowdonia National Park. One of the most accessible railway rambles, it’s largely wheelchair friendly - you can also hire a ‘tramper’ - and the North Wales Society for the Blind has produced a free audio guide to download that accompanies the trail. 

Innocent Railway Path, Scotland

Running from Newington, under Holyrood Park out to Brunstane. A highlight of the path is the 517 metre Innocent Tunnel, one of the UK’s oldest railway tunnels and pleasingly eerie!

Monsal Trail, The Peak District

One of the newer railway walks, this stretch from Buxton to Bakewell was only rescued in 1981 and some of the amazing 400-metre tunnels have only been reopened in the last decades, so there’s novelty factor to this stretch of railway. It also has some amazing views to enjoy. Don’t miss the cafe in the old station ticket office at Millers Dale.

Find more railway routes to walk on the OS website.

The picture above is of the abandoned platform along Parkland Walk in London. It’s part of our feature all about nature reserves in the May issue of The Simple Things, which is on sale now. 
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Cooking | Meals for a One-Ring Burner

Whether you’re camping or caravanning, meals you can make in one pan on a one-burner ring are always a winner… Or make them just for fun at home!

We’ve collated our six favourite meals for cooking on a one-ring burner. (On the seventh night, we think you should head to the pub or get fish and chips). Crack out the Travel Scrabble and gather round the teeny kitchen (or the open fire) and cook up a tiny storm!

One-pan Full English

As good at breakfast as it is for lunch or dinner, here’s how to do a cooked breakfast with just one thing to wash up. 

• Heat the pan high and fry chiplota sausages for around three minutes. 

• Add bacon, turning repeatedly until in goes crispy

• Add chopped mushrooms and cook until soft

• Drain any fat and liquid off, then spread the ingredients out evenly across the pan’s surface

• Beat some eggs and add to the pan to create a breakfast omelette. Cook for two minutes on a low to medium heat

• Scatter over tomatoes and cheese if liked and continue to cook until melted

• Serve in wedges once fully cooked

Chilaquiles

A holiday twist on nachos. We’re not saying this meal includes all the major food groups (other than crisps) but it is warming, filling and delicious!

• Heat oil high in a pan or skillet and then fry tortilla chips in single layers, draining each layer on kitchen towel as you go

• Reduce heat and gently fry some chopped red onion until softened and add some chopped garlic for the last half a minute

• Tip in some passata or tinned tomatoes and reduce. Once reduced and simmering, put the fried tortilla chips back in and stir to coat them

• Create a well in the middle and drop a few eggs into the sauce, cooking them through gently

• Top with chopped herbs, spring onions, grated cheese and whatever else you fancy

One-pot Orzo with veggies

A clever pasta dish, in which the water boils the pasta and the veggies together and then disappears like magic!

• Prep your veg. Anything that cooks in less than 10 minutes, like the orzo, is good… Asparagus, peas, broccoli and the like

• Put the veg with the orzo, enough water to cover it, a tablespoon of oil and any spices you like to your cooking vessel and bring to a low boil

• Once boiling, cook for a further five minutes until orzo and veggies are tender

• Reduce heat and add grated cheese, and any of the following you fancy: pine nuts, olives, sundried tomatoes, other deli veg

Chick pea and Chorizo Stew

Hearty, warming and pleasingly simple, this stew is great served with crusty bread or any other carb you fancy it with. 

• Heat a little olive oil in a large pan and then fry a chopped onion until it softens. Add chopped carrot, celery and herbs such as thyme and bay leaves. Continue to cook for around three minutes, stirring to prevent the veg sticking

• Add chopped garlic, chorizo and paprika and continue to fry with the veg for a few minutes

• Add a can of chick peas and a can of tomatoes and cook down

• Add a couple of handfuls of spinach and let wilt

• Remove from heat, season and serve with bread

Bubble and squeak

An oldie but classic. Another recipe that works for any meal from breakfast to supper - and it helps you get your greens in, too.

• In your pot, layer a chopped whole cabbage, five medium chopped potatoes and chopped Polish sausage or hot dogs from a jar

• Add a cup of water and simmer for 20 mins

• Once water is all soaked up and veg are tender, serve up

Black bean burgers

You can customise these burgers to your own tastes with many additions. Serve in big burger baps with ketchup. 

• Mash a tin of drained, rinsed black beans

• Mix in a tablespoon of ketchup and the same of mustard if desired along with a third of a cup of instant oats

• Throw in any extras for customisation - chopped onions, leftover diced veg, grated Cheddar etc

• Form the mix into patties, heat a little oil in the pan and then fry on each side until nice and crispy

• Serve in buns with plenty of sauce

If you think the caravanning life might be for you, don’t miss our Home Tour feature in our August issue, which features this beautiful van (above) in Sardinia, as well another retro van on the Kent coast.
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Simple Things Tour | Oxford in Books

Follow in the steps of Lyra, Alice and Morse with a bookish outing around the dreaming spires of Oxford 

You could happily wander without aim around Oxford for an entire weekend, but if you would prefer a stroll with purpose, there are lots of places with literary connections to stop and stare at. We’ve put together a Simple Things literary outing to Oxford for you,  with suggestions for bookish sights to see and fictional food and literary lunches to fuel you along the way. 

1. Christchurch College, Cathedral Garden
   Our tour begins in the south east corner of the city centre with an entry to the wonders of Oxford. On the wall between the gardens and the deanery is a very special gate, said to have inspired Alice’s door into Wonderland from the bottom of the rabbit hole. It’s said the ‘real’ Alice (Liddell) who lived at the deanery when her father was the Dean of the college, used to watch her father rush through the gate on his way to Cathedral services - always late, just like the White Rabbit. Only the Dean could cross the garden so Alice was only ever able to catch glimpses of it through the gate… 

2. Christ Church Dining Room
   While you’re at Christ Church, do join a tour so you can poke your head round the door of the dining room and see the dining hall which is said to have inspired The Great Hall of Hogwarts in JK Rowling’s Harry Potter series. 

3. The Botanic Gardens
   Just beyond the cathedral, are the peaceful Botanic Gardens. Take a bottle of Cointreau (or perhaps a coffee if it’s a little early still) and channel your inner Sebastian Flyte from Brideshead Revisited. Then make your way to the lower garden where you will find in one corner, the bench where Will and Lyra from Phillip Pullman’s His Dark Materials trilogy agree to meet each year. It’s charmingly covered in ‘Will and Lyra’ graffiti now and a beautiful spot to rest a while. 

4. Merton College gardens
   Just around the corner at Merton College is an old hexagonal stone table where JRR Tolkien is said to have mapped out many of his story ideas. Take a good look round for hobbits, before you leave and walk up Logic Lane. 

5. New College Lane
   At the top of Logic Lane, cross the high street and then walk up Queen’s Lane to New College Lane, where Dorothy L Sayers’ novel Gaudy Night ends. Here, Sayer’s crime writer character, Harriet Vane finally accepted Lord Peter Wimsey’s marriage proposal.

6. The Ashmolean Museum
   Make your way past the Bodleian Library to the Ashmolean Museum where you can see the Oxford Dodo, stepped right out of Wonderland. The Ashmolean is also home to the gold posy rings that served as the inspiration for Tolkien’s One Ring in The Lord of the Rings. 

7. The Morse Bar
   If all that museum wandering has left you with a thirst, fear not. It’s time for a real ale or two. Just around the corner is the wooden panelled Morse Bar at the Randolph Hotel, where Morse’s creator, Colin Dexter, is said to have written several of the books about everyone’s favourite Oxford detective. 

8. The Covered Market
   After that ale, you should have worked up an appetite, so head south again past St Peter’s College to The Covered Market, where you might well spot Lyra, in an alternative Oxford, darting among the stalls and shops. We think if she were here today, Lyra would enjoy a Mediterranean lunch in the bohemian Georgina’s, perhaps washed down with a colourful milkshake at Moo Moo’s. 

9. Exeter College
   Close by Lyra’s covered market is Exeter College, which Pullman based Lyra’s home, Jordan College, on. Pop your head into the courtyard and see if you can spot Lyra’s attic window she climbs out of onto the rooves.

10. Lincoln College
    Leave Exeter and walk past Jesus college, which was once home to the author William Boyd, and make your way south to Lincoln College, where John Le Carre studied. Some of his later novels, such as Our Kind of Traitor, were based on his time at Oxford as an undergraduate. 

11. St Mary’s Passage
    Head down Brasenose Lane and turn right in front of the Radcliffe Camera library. Down here, you’ll find St Mary’s Passage, and opposite the entrance to the University Church of St Mary the Virgin, you will find the Narnia Door, heavily etched and with a lion’s face in its centre. It’s apparently the inspiration behind CS Lewis’s wardrobe door into Narnia. 

We’ll leave you here. Don’t go accepting any Turkish Delight from ornately dressed, strange women, now…

Our tour of Oxford was inspired by our Weekend Away feature in our March issue, in which Lindsey Harrad stayed at Keble College. You can read all about it from page 114.

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How to | Go (Almost) Wild Camping

Live a simpler life, closer to nature, even if it’s just for a night or two

If you fancy the idea of the simplest of existences for a week, sleeping under the stars and living entirely out in nature (but perhaps aren’t quite ready to forego a shower and running water yet) you might like to try Almost Wild camping.

In our April issue, James Warner Smith told us where to find some of the UK’s best almost wild camping spots. You can read all about them from page 18. Here are some of his tips for getting started if you’re feeling wild (but not THAT wild).

*Check the facilities Availability of toilets, showers and washing-up areas may vary so check before you book and you’ll know what to expect.

* Stock up Few campsites will have an onsite shop, or it may be very basic. Find the location of the nearest shops before you travel and bring adequate supplies, just in case.

* Cut the clutter Try not to pack the kitchen sink. Aim for being able to fit everything you need into a wheelbarrow (often provided) as you can rarely park by your pitch.

* Book early For the best spots, plan ahead and book early, especially in (this) summer. Check if children and dogs are allowed, too.

* The right pitch Practise putting up your tent at home and check you have all the necessary parts.

* Cook out Most sites let you have a campfire, which goes against the grain of the ‘Leave No Trace’ ethos of genuine wild camping. Ditch the camping stove and get creative.

* Slow down Switch off your phone, embrace the slower pace of life and just take time to enjoy where you are.

Almost Wild Camping: 50 British Campsites on the Wilder Side by James Warner Smith (Punk Publishing)

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Fun facts | British Motorways

Surprise and delight your fellow passengers with these fast motorway facts

We’re all so excited to be planning and enjoying a few jaunts further afield now. In celebration of that we’ve put together a Pocket Guide to Pit Stops of places to stop, eat and enjoy just off the motorway around Britain. You can find it in the April issue with instructions on how to cut it out and fold it into your very own pocket guide to pop in your glove box. 

While you wait for your copy to arrive so you can plan your next sojourn, we’ve put together a few fascinating* facts about British motorways for you to share with your fellow passengers on the journey. Strap in! This could be a bumpy ride!

* The Simple Things can take no responsibility for what you or the next woman considers to be fascinating. We’ve led a sheltered life for the last year. 

• The first full-length motorway was the M1 but if we’re splitting hairs the first ‘stretch’ of motorway was in fact the Preston Bypass (now part of the M6), which was opened by Harol Macmillan in 1958. It was just eight and a quarter miles long. 

• The first motorway service station, meanwhile was Watford Gap, built on the M1 just a year after it opened. 

• Britain’s widest stretch of motorway is 17 lanes wide (both sides of the carriageway) and is found on the M61 at Linnyshaw Moss in Greater Manchester where the motorway meets the M60 and the A580. 

• The most haunted motorway in Britain is the M6, with sightings of Roman soldiers and a woman screaming at the side of the road. (Perhaps she’d seen the price of the service station coffee). 

• The longest motorway in Britain is the M6 (236 miles long), which runs from Catthorpe in Leicestershire up to the Scottish border, while the shortest is thought to be the A635M in Manchester at just under half a mile. 

• Rumours tell that there are dead bodies from gangland killings hidden in the concrete and cement that was used to make the M25. 

• On a more pleasant note, the M25 is also the only motorway we know of that has a cricket pitch on it. Well, ok, above it. There’s a cricket square on the Bell Common tunnel which the M25 passes under between Junctions 26 and 27. 

• The M1 has no junction 3. When it was built they planned to add in Junction 3 at a later date once the link road to the A1 was built. But the link road was cancelled so the junction was never built and a service station now sits where it would have been. 

• When the M25 first opened it had no speed restrictions. We assume they foresaw a time when speed restrictions on Britain’s busiest motorway would be pointless since it was at a standstill much of the time anyway.
  

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New hobby | Plein Air Sketching

Make a walk an event by sitting down to sketch the landscape for a short while

There aren’t many things that don’t feel just a bit more ‘alive’ for being practised outdoors; eating alfresco is so much more than just supper, sleeping under the stars turns a daily fact of life into something magic… And art? Well, painting a landscape, live, out in the fresh air, is like the difference between watching a BBC schools TV film of Julius Caesar and being in the Globe watching the RSC perform it live. 

‘Plein Air’ painting, the act of painting a landscape like a sitting portrait, with the artist able to better capture the changing light, weather and atmosphere, began in the 1800s, pioneered by Constable, whose painting, Boatbuilding, Near Flatford Mill was conceived and painted entirely outdoors. The catalyst, lovely though the great outdoors is, was the rather more prosaic fact of tubes of oil paints suddenly becoming available. Paints had previously needed to be mixed from raw pigments which did not lend themselves to being thrown into a bag for an impromptu day’s painting out in the fields. A few tubes fitted nicely into your artist’s knapsack alongside a Thermos and a cheese sandwich. 

The Plein Air movement soon spread to the continent, its high point coming with Impressionist landscapes; think the likes of Monet, Renoir and Pissaro with their dappled light and soft, outdoorsy colours. 

Perhaps it’s the fresh air going to our heads, but we think we might just be inspired enough to give plein air a go ourselves now the weather’s warming up. How hard can a few water lilies be to paint anyway? If you fancy trying it too, here are a few tips to get you started.

1. Put together a bit of a kit. You don’t need a full-on pochade box, though. In fact, it’s best if you travel fairly light. Just a modest art kit (more on that below), something to keep warm if you’re sitting still for long periods, a hat if it’s sunny (or chilly), and we recommend a flask of tea and a generous slice of cake. Art is not fuelled on inspiration alone, you know. 

2. If you’re painting you just need something to paint on (paper, card, a sketchbook or canvas), a couple of brushes of different sizes, something to put water in and a cloth to wipe your brushes. Watercolours travel more easily than oils but don’t be put off oils or gouache if that’s what you prefer. You don’t need to take them all either; just consider your location, and pick out a few tubes of paint to match the colouring of the scenery.  Plein Air fans often say they prefer to use ‘found’ water for rinsing brushes than taking their own. There’s definitely something charming about using water taken from the sea to paint your beach scene, or even just asking the cafe that features in your scene for a glass of water to paint with.

3. Of course, sketching with coloured pencils or charcoals is lots of fun, too. We think if Monet had had the wealth of colours offered in a Faber Castell kit, he’d have given it a go, too. 

4. Choose a location that inspires you. It doesn’t have to be a pastoral idyll; just somewhere that ‘speaks’ to you. It also needs to be somewhere you can easily sit undisturbed (so if the roundabout at Elephant and Castle speaks to you maybe think again). You also need somewhere comfy enough to sit, whether that’s a grassy hillock or a camping chair on a street corner. 

5. Take a photo of the scene you’re painting just for reference later on. It’s very satisfying once you start to get a little bit good.

6. Before you start, do a quick sketch of the scene you want to recreate; what plein air artists call a ‘thumbnail sketch’. It just gives you an idea of composition and what’s going where. Try to pick just one or two elements to focus on in the picture.

7. Once you’re painting or drawing, your watchword is ‘speed’. That might seem to go against the whole ethos of the thing, but you’ll be surprised how quickly the light changes. If painting, use a broad brush and just block in colour. You can add more detail and colour on top later, but you need to get the basics in first so the light doesn’t change the colours and where shadows fall too much while you’re working. 

8. Be prepared to chat to passers by and show off your work (or adopt the look of a serious artist who must not be disturbed by trivialities and wear obvious headphones). 

The photograph above is by Dr Ali Foxon, who we spoke to in our April issue for our ‘Walking with Purpose’ feature. Ali runs boggydoodles.com which organises green sketching events for groups. Turn to page 44 to meet Ali and more people who have added ‘purpose’ to their walks in different ways. 

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You know spring has properly arrived when...

Daylight wakes you up in the morning

You leave the back door open

Soups and stews make way for salads

Your phone is full of pictures of blossom and spring flowers

Your book takes a little longer to read

You’re making detailed plans for your garden

You leave the house without a coat

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Job Vacancy | Lighthouse Keeper

Fancy a career change and something a little different? Apply within…

Do you have what it takes to keep Simple Things Lighthouse ship hape and Bristol fashion and ensure all ships pass safely around the rocks beneath? If think you fit the person spec below, drop us a line via seagull. 

Position: Lighthouse Keeper

Skills required: 

High level of fitness (the commute involves a lot of stairs).

Exceptional eyesight.

A head for heights.

Top notch organisational skills and a tidy mind.

Resourcefulness (particularly with reference to food preparation as deliveries can be sparse).

Experience of exterior decorating (on a large scale) would be helpful.

Must be able to confidently change a lightbulb.

Personality:

Must be capable of working independently.

An enjoyment of one’s own company would be an advantage. 

Happy to use one’s own initiative. 

Able to find the joy in solitude. 

An appreciation of seagulls would be an advantage.

And did we mention the solitude? 

Experience:

It’s probably best if you don’t have too much life experience; you’ll only miss it. 

Applicants who self-isolated for long periods during lockdown are encouraged to apply. 

In return, we can offer a fabulous coastal location, excellent views and plenty of opportunity for self-improvement (with the emphasis on ‘self’). Plenty of time off during daylight hours. While you will be required to work all night shifts, you will have the opportunity to read for pleasure while working the light - just one line at a time. 

As you may have noticed, we got just a little overexcited by our ‘Outing’ feature on lighthouses in our March issue. It’s a ripping read, whether you’re a fan of lighthouses, or are yet to discover their charms.

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Wild camping | bedzones

Sailors, mountaineers, hikers, cyclists, canoeists and pilgrims have been wild camping for centuries . These are the four traditional ‘bedzones’ used by wild campers…

WILD ZONE Aka Scotland – from Cape Wrath to Gretna, every loch, trail and beach, the lowlands, the peaks and what’s left of the forest. Freedom to sleep and wild camp was restored as a right in 2003 under the Land Reform Act.

FORESHORE ZONE The coast is possibly the most important common ground in Britain and Ireland. Our law has enshrined the right to fish, dig bait and navigate, without having to pay. This means that while the tide is out, it’s perfectly reasonable to camp, eat, light a fire and rest on the foreshore (the area below the high-tide mark).

MIDDLE EARTH The area between the foreshore and the mountains – where we all, pretty much, live. It’s wrong to say camping here is illegal. It’s like saying it’s illegal to sit down at a table in a restaurant without asking. It’s not, but just polite to ask first.

MOUNTAIN ZONE Mountaineers and ramblers have been enjoying free sleep in the hills for ever. Today, there’s still no one up there collecting pitch fees. Many landowners consider the minimum necessary height for wild camping to be 450m – and hundreds of hills within the UK fall into that category.

If you fancy a bit of wild camping yourself, turn to page 21 of our August issue, where Stepehn Neale, author of Wild Camping: Exploring and Sleeping in the Wilds of the UK and Ireland (below) tells us how to wild camp safely and considerately.

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Wild Camping Book Reader Offer

To order at a discount of 20%, go to bloomsbury.com and use the code SIMPLE20 before 27 August. 



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Good stops just off the motorway

Because there’s always treasure where you least expect it…

If you’re planning a bank holiday getaway or a longer UK staycation this summer, you probably haven’t yet given your route there much thought. Travelling long-distance by car is simple but tedious and most of us just hit the motorway crossing our fingers it’s not at too much of a standstill. 

And when it comes to comfort breaks and lunch stops, well, a curly sandwich at a sterile table (if you’re lucky) on the side of the road is often as good as it gets. 

But with a little planning and research, you might just find there are some real gems only a stones throw from the motorway junctions.

There are places like Tebay services - the first family run motorway service station, which was set up by Cumbrian Hill farmers John and Barbara Dunning when the M6 was built through their land. With farm shops, a butchery and cafe serving only local food, it’s as far from a normal service station as you can imagine and has become a destination in its own right. Then there are the plethora of National Trust properties just minutes away from motorway junctions where you can immerse yourself in history, stretch your legs and have a proper scone and a decent cup of tea - and all without a Burger King in sight. But beyond that, every stretch of Britain’s major roads have near them somewhere a lovely lake, a peaceful copse with picnic benches or a great view from a hill. You just need to know someone in the know.

So we’ve had another of our brilliant ideas. We’d like Simple Things readers to pool their knowledge on all those wonderful, secret places just off the motorway and we’ll collate them and make them into a booklet for a future issue. We’re hoping it will be a little gem you’ll keep in your glove box with the boiled sweets and road atlas so that next time you find yourself contemplating a curly sandwich and a raft of fruit machines you can take a different turn off and make a real moment of your comfort and lunch break. 

Leave your votes for your ‘spot just off the motorway’ in the comments on our blog or on our posts on Facebook and Instagram and we’ll do the rest. 

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From our February issue…

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Words | backronyms and snackronyms

Some word-related fun to take with you on a winter walk..

A trail mix is comfort food at its most smug, and we’re right behind that. While you’re popping delicious gem-sized pieces of colourful dried fruits and nuts into your mouth (and maybe some chocolate in there, too) you can also feel the glow of fuelling your body with something healthy and homemade. 

There’s something about the words ‘trail mix’ that make you feel like you could face anything on a winter walk. Doesn’t the idea of being on a ‘trail’ rather than just a bit of a ramble make you feel like you are striding out with purpose? 

While we were putting together our On The Trail feature for our January issue, we discovered, to our delight, that there are several other even better names for trail mix. 

In North America, trail mix is often known as ‘gorp’, probably derived from the early 20th century term ‘to gorp’ or ‘to eat greedily’. Since then, however, gorp has become an acronym for Good Old Raisins and Peanuts or sometimes, more specifically, Granola, Oats, Raisins, Peanuts. It’s what’s known as a ‘backronym’: an acronym that was created to fit a word after the event, rather than a word that was created as an acronym. 

In Australia, trail mix is known as ‘scroggin’, a 1940s word which later came to stand for Sultanas, Chocolate, Raisins, Orange peel, Ginger, Glucose (sugar), Imagination (whatever you like), Nuts. Others, insist it stands for Sultanas, Chocolate, Raisins, Other Good thinGs Including Nuts.

Next time we head out on a winter walk we are definitely going to be making some of the trail mix recipes featured in our January issue and pictured above. Trail Mix is a very fine snack - Something Nice And Comforting (from the) Kitchen.

The trail mix recipes and warming soups for a winter walk featured in our January issue were taken from Delicious Wintertime: The Cookbook for Cold Weather Adventures by Markus Sӓmmer (Gestalten).

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Workshop | make your own Christmas hamper

By Rebecca Frank

As thoughts inevitably turn to Christmas, why not swap the shops for the kitchen and have a go at making your own festive foodie gifts. Rebecca Frank visited River Cottage to do just that

 While Christmas shopping tends to make you tired and stressed, spending a day in the kitchen creating brightly coloured bottles and boxes bursting with delicious festive flavours whilst ticking names off your present list has the exact opposite effect. This I discovered on a cold and wet November day when I joined the Christmas Hampers workshop at the River Cottage in Devon. While the rain came down outside my fellow cooks and I boiled beetroot, apple and tomatoes with wintry spices to create a bottle of deep red St Nicholas Ketchup and combined Bramley apples and lemons with eggs and cloves to make two jars of Hugh’s delicious winter lemon curd. A chocolate salami followed, which course leader Lucy Brazier described as the ideal no-cook recipe for when you’re ‘sick of pudding and sick of cooking’. Packed with nuts and sour cherries and a couple of teaspoons of alcohol (we used locally made cider brandy) all of our sausage shaped creations looked different but equally impressive.

As we all know, cooking can build up quite an appetite but there’s no fear of going hungry here with regular breaks for tea and homemade spelt digestives and a hearty lunch served in the farmhouse in front of the log fire. While feasting enthusiastically on winter salads and tender meats we shared stories of our Christmases and cooking successes and disasters. It was soon back to the kitchen as we had a long list of goodies to get through including piccalilli, roasted nuts and seeds with Twelfth Night seasoning, quince vinegar and a batch of those yummy spelt digestives.  Lucy made it all feel very achievable for a bunch of amateur cooks with her lively demonstrations and useful tips and hints. While we cooked at our individual stations, she wandered around answering questions and rescuing the odd mishap with a smile.

 At the end of the day we were given wooden boxes and Christmassy accessories with which to decorate our hampers while Lucy poured us all a glass of quince, bay and ginger ratafia and laid out a fabulous cheese board for us to feast on as we worked. I came away with heaps more confidence and ideas for making edible gifts but also general cooking tips I will definitely be putting to use in the kitchen over Christmas. I wasn’t surprised to find most people on the course had been on a River Cottage workshop before as I definitely hope to return soon. If you can’t make it down this year, perhaps you could slip a cooking course onto your Christmas wish-list..?

The next Christmas Hamper course is on 21 November and costs £195 for the day including lunch (9.30-5pm).  Visit rivercottage.net to find out more.

How to | work a canal lock

Learn a niche skill that looks ever so impressive

It’s always a joy to be able to step up at moments of group panic and confidently and smugly say ‘I’ll take care of that’. Should you find yourself navigating a narrow boat unexpectedly (it could happen) you’ll need to be able to work the canal’s locks in order to pilot the boat up or down the water. While all about you spill their Pimms and flap their hands in despair at the paddles, here’s how to calmly and collectedly navigate a lock. Ahoy!

1. Put down your beer, like a hero.

2. For the purposes of these instructions we’re going to assume you are travelling upstream. You need one person at the tiller (the steering pole) and one person operating the lock (that’s you). Check the lock. It should be clear with no boat approaching the other way. The water in the lock has to be at the same level as you are before you can open the gates and enter it. As we’re assuming you’re travelling up the canal, if the lock is not empty when you arrive, empty it by opening the paddles on the bottom gate. Once the water is at the same level as you, you can open the gates. 

3. Open the gate nearest the boat and ask the person at the tiller to take the boat (carefully) into the lock. It is traditional to shout ‘left a bit, left a bit, NO! YOU PUSH IT RIGHT TO GO TO THE LEFT!. That’s right… No TOO FAR NOW. Lawks! You nearly had the front off it then!’ as they steadily pilot the boat into the lock. Close the bottom gate behind the boat.

4. Open the paddles in the top gate and let the water into the lock. The paddles are the big Victorian iron cog shenanigans either side of the lock. Take your special key (called a windlass), place the hole in your windlass over the sticky-outy bit on the paddle and turn it to open. Stand to the side and keep your knees out of the way. If you accidentally let go of a windlass while the paddle is raised it can drop fast and the windlass can fly off and the paddles drop suddenly, causing horrible damage to the lock or you. It is permissible to swear colourfully if this happens. As the paddles open, the boat will rise slowly in the lock like well-proved loaf.

5. When the lock is full and the levels inside the lock and in front of you are level you will be able to open the top gate. Do so by putting your back against it and slowly leaning back to push it open, rather than bending over and pushing with your hands. This ‘pushing with your back’ manoeuvre prevents injury but more importantly will help mark you out as a canal know-it-all and impress any passers-by. 

6. Let your tiller person know to bring the boat out of the gate. If you want to sound smug and irritate the person at the tiller, shout casual and unhelpful commands like ‘take it to starboard a little’. No-one mortal can remember which way starboard is when under stress and in charge of a 60ft boat. Call them over to the bank with a louche wave of the hand, then step casually back on board and resume your position at your beer.

7. Graciously bask in the admiration of your crew and never tell them that it’s actually much easier to work a lock than it is to pilot the boat through one. Ahem.

In our July ‘Embrace’ issue, which is out now, we tried out a canal boating weekend courtesy of ABC Boat Hire. They are currently offering discounts for 202 and have a few last minute deals on breaks this year, too. Pick up a copy of the July issue in shops now for more details.

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Places to go: Pier review

Who doesn’t love a pier? We’ve found the best around Britain for every sort of seasidey day out

Herne Bay Pier by Rob Ball

Who doesn’t love a pier? We’ve found the best around Britain for every sort of seasidey day out

Piers for pleasure are a uniquely British thing, which is a surprise really. Why wouldn’t anyone want to be able to head out into the sea without getting their hair wet, after all? We’ve selected a few of our favourites from around the country, each celebrated for its own particular pleasures.

Best for a good stroll

You don’t want to take a long walk of a short pier, do you? So head to Southend, which is Britain’s longest pier at 2,156m long. Quite a whopper. Sir John Betjeman, founder of The National Piers Society once said ‘The pier is Southend. Southend is the pier.’

Best for train travel

Many piers have a small railway on them. If it wasn’t nailed down the Victorians put a train track on it, of course. But Hythe Pier is home to Britain’s oldest continuously operating narrow gauge pier railway and has services every half an hour. You can take the train to the ferry service from the end of the pier that crosses Southampton Channel to Southampton.

Best for foodies

You won’t go hungry on Llandudno pier. It has a stall selling freshly baked pies, others selling smoked oysters and muscles, a branch of the Great British Cheese Company and a traditional sweet shop. You can wash it all down with a pint of craft beer from the Pier Bar.

Best for fishing

Deal Pier is apparently a prime spot for landing mackerel, as well as pollack, sole, garfish and mullet in the summer months. Best spots are the lower deck at the south and north corners and the upper deck between the second and third shelters, facing towards Dover. Fact fans: Deal is also Britain’s ‘youngest’ pier.

Best for thrill and spills

Bournemouth Pier has a pier-to-beach zip-line, so you can play at being the Milk Tray Man, and its old theatre now houses activities for adrenaline junkies, such as climbing walls, an aerial assault course and a vertical drop slide. Wheeeeeeeee!

Best for old-fashioned fun

Blackpool’s North Pier is one of the most iconic of all and a trip here is like stepping back in time. Fish and chips, fortune tellers, traditional sweets and carousels… We can almost hear strains of ‘Oh I do like to be Beside the Seaside’.

Best for a brush with wildlife

Fort William Town Pier, on the west coast of Scotland is home to the fabulous Crannog Restaurant. It used to be a bait shed but you can now sit and enjoy some of the best and freshest fish you’ll ever taste and then take a cruise from the pier down Loch Linnhe where you’ll often spot common and grey seals, porpoises and sometimes golden eagles.

Best for completely bonkers entertainment

Southwold Pier is a lovely day out but its best bit is the Under the Pier Show, a room full of homemade penny slot machines created by Tim Hunkin, a writer, cartoonist and engineer. Try, if you dare, the Autofrisk, where a pair of inflated rubber gloves give you the experience of being frisked. Or hop on Walk The Dog, a treadmill with a life-size fake dog and screens simulating both your view and the dog’s view of the walk - watch out for the sudden increase in speed when the dog spies a cat! And don’t miss Fly Drive, a simulator in which you are a fly and have to gorge on as much sugar as you can before being swatted. Utterly mad and total genius.

Find out more about British piers at The National Piers Society. And in our June issue, we have more of the stunning pictures (above) from Funland by Rob Ball (Hoxton Mini Press), a celebration of British coastal communities and their architecture in pictures.

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Recipe: The Picnic loaf

Planning to picnic this weekend? We love this fancy sandwich

Half sandwich, half pie, this picnic loaf crams the best of the local farm shop into one easy-to-carry meal. Prepare it the night before so the flavours have time to soak in. You can chop and change the ingredients according to what’s available. Find this and more in Pitch Up Eat Local by Ali Ray (£16.99, AA Publishing). 

The picnic loaf

Serves 6

1 cob loaf (the crusty round one)
1 garlic clove, halved
2 tbsp pesto (from a jar is fine)

For the filling:
2 courgettes, sliced lengthways
2 red and 2 yellow peppers, seeded and sliced in thick lengths
2 tbsp or so olive oil
200g cheese (whatever you can find locally – a soft-rind/mozzarella/goat’s cheese)
200g sliced charcuterie meats or ham
a good handful salad leaves
2 tbsp fresh basil leaves
salt and pepper

1  Carefully cut the top off the cob loaf (save this for later) and hollow out the middle to leave a shell. Don’t make the walls too thin as it won’t stay crisp.

2  Toss the courgettes and peppers in the olive oil and put on a preheated griddle or BBQ grid. Cook for about 4–5 mins on each side until soft and lightly charred. Put to one side to cool.

3  Rub the cut garlic clove over the insides of the bread shell, then use a spoon to spread the pesto all around the inside walls and under the lid.

4  Blot the grilled veg with kitchen roll, then and slice the cheese.  Season both well with salt and pepper, then start building up layers of veg, cheese, meat and salad leaves. Finish with a layer of basil leaves. The hollow in the bread must be filled well.

5  Put the top of the bread back on, then wrap the whole thing tightly in clingfilm.  Put a plate on top and weigh down with something heavy to let the flavours fuse together for at least 2 hours, preferably overnight, in a cool-box. 

6  Cut into thick, cake-style slices to eat now, or pack in your lunch-box and take on your adventures.

This recipe originally was published in June 2015 - and it tastes just as good, if not better, now.

More picnic inspiration…

From our May issue…

Forgotten bookmarks

We won’t judge a book by its cover… though we might judge it by what’s left among its pages

Illustration: Jane Mount

A shopping list for a supper with friends, last summer’s postcard, a card advertising a restaurant you don’t remember going to… The things you find you’ve left in books to mark your place, and then forgotten, often bring back a wry smile.

But the things other people have used as bookmarks and then abandoned to the pages can range from the indescribable to the indigestible.

When Washington librarian Anna Holmes tweeted earlier this year: “Dearest patrons, PLEASE stop using cheese as a bookmark. Please. We give away actual bookmarks for free. Or like use a receipt or something. Just not perishables” one would have thought the world would reel, but no.

The world responded with its own tales of bizarre bookmarks they’ve had the misfortune to find: bacon, a circular saw, a piece of broccoli, toenail clippings and a clump of hair.

It turns out forgotten bookmarks are quite a phenomenon. (We’re assuming they’re forgotten and that people aren’t putting deli items into library books intentionally).

To prove it, enter New York State second-hand bookseller Michael Popek, of Forgotten Bookmarks, who catalogues all the strange and wonderful things he has found between the pages of the books that enter his shop.

From four-leafed clovers to a marijuana leaf, love notes to a suicide note (which he chose not to photograph, understandably), each item is a tiny snapshot of an anonymous person’s life and utterly compelling for it. He photographs each object, along with the book he found it in and publishes them together. Sometimes it’s easy to imagine the reader, and the scenario in which the object ended up in the book. One can almost picture the small, slightly grubby little boy who left his Bear Cub Scouting patch inside a copy of Adventure in the Haunted House. Less easy to conjure to mind is the owner of the photograph of a coffin (occupied) inside a copy of Amelia Earhart’s The Fun of It.

Popek has published photos of some of the forgotten bookmarks he has found over the years in a book called, unsurprisingly, Forgotten Bookmarks. We thoroughly recommend it. Don’t forget to take your cheese slice out of it when you’ve finished it though.

And if you’re in search of a new favourite tome in which to lose a slice of cheddar (or worse), you might like to read ‘Looking for Books’ in our November issue, in which Frances Ambler takes an illustrated tour with Jane Mount, author and illustrator of Bibliophile, around some of the world’s best independent bookshops.

More on books…

More from November issue…

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The official rules of conkers

There are varying rules for a conker fight, but these are the ones laid out by The Woodland Trust, so you can run your own back garden championships:

1. Wrap the loose end of the string around your hand. One player should dangle their conker on about 25cm of string, keeping it absolutely still.

2. The other player then swings their conker at it to try to break it.

3. If the attacking player misses, they can have two more chances before it’s their opponent’s turn.

4. Take turns until one of the conkers breaks and you have a winner.

5. A new conker is called a ‘none-er’ as it hasn’t beaten anyone yet. When it beats another conker, it’s a ‘one-er’. If it beats another, it becomes a ‘two-er’ and so on.

Turn to page 64 of October’s The Simple Things for How to do autumn well, including how to pick a prime pumpkin, Apple Day, and how to go mushrooming (without updating your will).

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Old railway tracks

Offering unusual routes and easy navigation, old railway tracks are ideal for hiking, biking or just a wander in nature. 

Some former routes have been restored for use as heritage lines, offering passengers the chance to enjoy the full sensory experience of steam: the smoky scent in the air, the magical chuff-chuff of acceleration and the occasional tuneful whistle.

They include:

The Bluebell Railway

Climb aboard splendid steam trains with romantic names such as the Sussex Belle and Golden Arrow running between East Grinstead and Sheffield Park in East Sussex; bluebell-railway.com.

North York Moors Railway

Admire the North York Moors National Park from the steam trains on this not-for-profit, volunteer-led railway, which is fast approaching its 200th birthday – don’t miss Goathland, famous for playing fictitious stations including Harry Potter’s Hogsmeade, as well as a turn in 1990s TV show Heartbeat; nymr.co.uk.

Ffestiniog & Welsh Highland Railways

Indulge in afternoon tea and first-class travel as you steam between Porthmadog and Caernarfon along the world’s oldest narrow gauge railway – the carriages’ windows framing magnificent mountainous views as it passes through Snowdonia; festrail.co.uk.

Turn to page 62 of September's The Simple Things for Ruth Chandler on her love of old railway tracks, or read on for some of her favourite routes.

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