How to talk like Roald Dahl

Don’t be biffsquiggled – the Oxford Roald Dahl Dictionary decodes Dahl’s brilliant word play

With the new Spielberg BFG film getting rave reviews, we thought you might like to learn to talk like the big friendly giant and co. Here goes!
 

phizz-whizzing (adj): splendid

plussy (adi): full of life and energy

rommytot (noun): talking nonsense

rotrasper (noun): horribly mean or nasty person

scrotty (adj): when you feel sad and gloomy

swashboggling (adj): unusual

whoopsy-whiffling (adj): splendid or marvellous 

hopscotchy (adj): happy

horrigust, muckfrumping (adj): unpleasant, unwelcome

lickswishy (adj): a delicious taste

biffsquiggled, gungswizzled (adj): confused or puzzled

buzzwangle (noun) – a silly or far-fetched idea

delumptious, delunctious (adj): very tasty, delicious

dogswoggler (noun): someone who is very silly

gropefluncking (adj): something difficult to explain

grunion (noun): grumpy person

More from the August issue:

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Give it a grow: Beetroot

WHY GROW THEM?

Don’t let the memory of eating that tasteless, shop-bought pickled beetroot put you off growing this wonderful vegetable. Try it roasted, blended (check out Ottolenghi’s incredible puréed beetroot with yoghurt & za’atar recipe) or raw to enjoy its delicious, earthy flavour, as well as benefit from all the vitamins packed within. It’s also one of those crops that can be harvested early as a baby vegetable, or left in the ground to grow to any size between a golf and a tennis ball.

WHEN TO SOW?

Sarah Raven recommends soaking seeds in warm water for half an hour before sowing in the veg patch or container. For a constant supply, sow every three to four weeks from March to July in a sunny spot and good soil. Sow thinly, so crops have a chance to form juicy bulbs, in rows about 30cm apart. You can sow more densely and pick the leaves as a tender, tasty salad crop.

WHEN TO HARVEST?

Crops are ready about 12 weeks after sowing, though pick earlier for a smaller, sweeter crop.

WHICH ONE?

‘Burpees Golden’ for its colour, ‘Chioggia’ to delight diners with its candy stripes, ‘Albinia Vereduna’, which is white so won’t stain hands and ‘Boltardy’, which, as it sounds, is bolt resistant. 

Read more from the July issue:

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Dogs in blankets with Laughing Dog

MURPHY, JACKAPOO, 4 YEARS

“Stop there! No access without a pawsword! Why all the mystery? Well, when not scampering around and chewing things, I’ve been plotting a top-secret plan for dogs to take over the world. It may look like I’m hiding in blankets but they’re actually high-tech, instant-activation, cat- resistant habitation units being issued to each canine comrade around Britain. Instructions will follow imminently, along with emergency biscuits and a cunning disguise. Next step, world domination. But, first, perhaps, a nap.”

Tweet a pic of your #dogsinblankets @simplethingsmag
#doghappy @laughingdogfood

 

Dogs in blankets is brought to you in association with Laughing Dog

Three generations ago, our bakers discovered that slow-baking was the secret to creating deliciously tasty food. By oven-baking we can protect the wholesome goodness of our farm-grown ingredients, creating a delicious taste loved by even the fussiest of dogs.

To discover more about Laughing Dog’s mission to bake the nation dog happy, visit laughingdogfood.com. Save 25% on your first order! Quote ST16 when ordering

Read more from the June issue:

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Homemade rose face cream

When the roses are in bloom all things floral become a little addictive. Make like a kid and stir up a summer potion for your dressing table 

MAKES: 175ml
KEEPS: 6–12 months

INGREDIENTS
100g coconut oil
25ml avocado oil
1 tbsp honey
5 tsps rosewater
10–15 drops rose (or rose geranium) essential oil

METHOD
1 Melt the coconut and avocado oils and honey in a bain-marie. Warm the rosewater in a separate bowl in the bain-marie.
2 Remove from heat, and whisk the oil and honey mixture, adding a drop of rosewater.
3 Keep whisking and adding rosewater until you’ve used all of it, then whisk until it starts to solidify. Add the essential oils and whisk until well blended.
4 Keep in a sterilised jar.

Courtesy of Lynn Rawlinson. Found in The Domestic Alchemist: 501 Herbal Recipes for Home, Health and Happiness by Pip Waller (Leaping Hare Press). 

Turn to page 123 of June's The Simple Things for more Miscellany wisdom. 

More Domestic Alchemist herbal recipes:

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The Domestic Alchemist: Homemade Hayfever Mead

Clear the sinuses with this natural hayfever repellent

MAKES 575ml
KEEPS more than a year 

INGREDIENTS
1 handful of elderflowers
1 handful of thyme, leaves and flowers
1 handful of eyebright, leaves and flowers
1 handful of plantain leaves
1 handful of chamomile flowers
1 handful of nettle tops
600ml mead

METHOD
1 Gather the herbs, if using fresh.
2 Remove from stems, then cut up or shred.
3 Mix the herbs together and make a tincture using the mead.
4 If already suffering from hayfever, take 1–2 tsp three times daily. To prevent onset, try 1⁄2-1 tsp. Children can take 10–20 drops three times daily.

Adapted from The Domestic Alchemist: 501 Herbal Recipes for Home, Health and Happiness by Pip Waller (Leaping Hare Press)

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From the April issue

More home remedies

How to make herbs last

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Recipe: Muhammara and an easy flatbread recipe

Want to be wiser? Eating a handful of walnuts a day can improve your memory, concentration and cognitive function, according to a recent study. Swap hummus or baba ganoush for this walnut pepper dip and, as well as treating your tastebuds, you’ll be recharging your brainpower.
Turn to page 128 of April's The Simple Things for a Muhammara recipe.

Want to make your own flatbread? We're trying Nigel Slater's recipe, as it reignited his passion for pita. Try it here.

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From the April issue

Middle Eastern recipes

Bread recipes

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Natural recipe: Mint chocolate face pack

This deeply cleansing face mask is a chocolate lover’s dream. It smells divine, too – almost good enough to eat...

MAKES: almost 250ml

KEEPS: up to six months in a jar 

INGREDIENTS:
11⁄2 tbsp raw cocoa powder
1 tbsp white kaolin powder
10g dried peppermint leaves
40–60ml coconut oil

METHOD
1 Mix the dry ingredients together. 
2 Gradually add the oil until you have a thick paste.
3 Apply to cleansed skin and then leave on for 15–20 mins.
4 Wash off well and moisturise.

Found in The Domestic Alchemist: 501 Herbal Recipes for Home, Health and Happiness by Pip Waller (Leaping Hare Press). Recipe courtesy of Teri Evans.

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From the March issue

Miscellany posts

Natural remedies

Plenty more delicious recipes in the March issue of The Simple Things, out now - buy, download or subscribe

How to make your own ink

It doesn’t need blood, sweat or tears. Unlike deciding what to write

Ink is pigment mixed with a carrier, such as water, and something to help it stick to paper – 1 tsp gum arabic. Kitchens are full of pigment possibilities – try these out. Wear gloves!

BLACK: Mix gum arabic, an egg yolk and 100ml honey. Stir in 1⁄2 tsp of lamp black (the soot created when a plate – or similar – is held over a flame).

DARK BROWN: Cover 6 to 8 whole blackened walnuts with water and simmer for up to an hour. Strain through muslin, before mixing with water, gum arabic and vinegar.

BROWN: Pour boiling water over 5 tea bags and steep for around 15 minutes. Squeeze bags. Add gum arabic to the liquid and strain through muslin.

BLUE: Simmer two handfuls of elderberries in vinegar. Squish, strain and mix with gum arabic. 

Store your inks in lidded jars. They’ll work best with traditional dip pens.

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From the February issue

Miscellany posts

Making projects

February's The Simple Things is out now- buy, download or subscribe. 

Make: A nest box for small birds

Why not give our feathered friends a helping hand by making them a nest box? An old boot can create a unique bird box, as well as being a good alternative to a hole found in trees.

1 Cut a length of weatherproof wood, 15mm thick and 400mm long (check your boot fits on the board with room for a roof). Don’t use CCA pressure-treated timber, as the leachates may harm birds.

2 Cut two 150mm lengths of the same wood at right angles to make the roof. Drill and nail the pieces together, then place the roof on the backboard and drill and nail into place.

3 Attach the boot to the backboard with glue, toe facing down, and tilted forward so rain falls off. Fix, two to four metres up a tree, or a wall. Try to face the boot north-east to avoid strong sunlight and wet winds. There should be a clear flight path to the nest.

4 Different species will be attracted to different sizes of hole. Tie the laces tightly, to 25mm for blue, coal and marsh tits; 28mm for great tits, tree sparrows and pied flycatchers; 32mm for house sparrows and nuthatches and 45mm for starlings.

5 Clean the boot with boiling water in August once the birds have stopped using it to get rid of any parasites.
 

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From the January issue

Making projects

Miscellany posts

January's The Simple Things is out now - buy, download or subscribe.

How to debobble your jumpers

Banish bobbles and purge pills with these nifty knitwear tricks

• Lay your jumper on a flat surface and glide a single blade razor down it, following its contours. Go lightly and carefully to remove the bobbles (also known as ‘pills’).
• The blog, A Thrifty Mrs (athriftymrs.com) recommends velcro rollers as a less risky alternative. Pull the area taut and roll them outwards and upwards. 
• Or try rubbing a foot pumice stone down your jumper in a similar way.
• Mechanised de-bobblers are also available – the Philips Fabric Shaver (John Lewis, £9.95) rates highly in reviews.

AND TO PREVENT THE PILL: 

• Pull on your favourite pullovers less frequently, leaving at least 24 hours between wears. 
• Brush down regularly with a lint roller. 
• When washing, turn the knitwear inside out, wash on a gentle cycle and allow to dry naturally to keep them jumpering for joy.

Read more:

From the January issue

Miscellany posts

Make: Homemade salt scrubs

January's The Simple Things is out now - buy, download or subscribe.

How to: Write a thank you note

Top manners = repeat invitations

We all know the value of saying “thank you” at this time of year, (even if Nanny Vi did send bath salts again). These days, we have lots of easy ways to say it, from a blanket shout-out on Facebook to a quick text. But nothing tops a hand-written note. Here’s how to compose the perfect message.

BEGIN WITH A GREETING
Always use the correct form and spelling of the person’s name. 

EXPRESS THANKS
Kick off with the most important words: ‘Thank you.’ Or something fancier: ‘It made my day when I opened your gift...’ 

ADD SPECIFIC DETAILS
Tell them how you plan to use or display the present. Even if it was cash, describe how you might spend it (if it’s beer and pick ‘n’ mix, you have permission to make something up). 

LOOK AHEAD
Mention the next time you might see them, or just let them know you’re thinking of them. 

RESTATE YOUR THANKS
Add extra details: ‘I know my friends will be jealous of the beautiful reindeer jumper you knitted for me!’ 

SIGN OFF
‘Sincerely’ is a safe standby but for closer relationships, choose something warmer. Show the love!

January's The Simple Things - buy, download or subscribe now.

How to keep your herbs going over winter

Rosemary, sage and bay are hardy fellows and will survive, albeit in go-slow mode if left in the garden over the winter. Your basic garden mint, grown in a pot and kept in a sunny, sheltered spot will muddle through, too. It’s worth providing a bit of extra TLC by mulching around roots to keep out the cold or covering with horticultural fleece.

They won’t put on much growth so don’t demand too much by way of fresh pickings. Go for new leaves and shoots, avoiding old growth if you can.

A few other things you could try:
1. Move varieties like thyme, parsley and oregano into a cold frame or unheated greenhouse, which will help them flourish.
2. You can sow coriander outdoors in February as it copes well with cold weather and will produce leaves within six weeks. 
3. Try dividing perennials like chives, mint, oregano, marjoram and tarragon to encourage plenty of new growth once the growing season starts. Make sure the ground isn’t frozen and dig up the entire plant. Divide the crown and root ball into two or more sections, using a knife or a spade. Protect them once they are back in the ground by mulching or covering with horticultural fleece. 
4. If you struggle without herbs, why not freeze or dry them so you can enjoy a ready supply over the winter months?

Read more:

From the November issue

Herb recipes

Gardening tips

Fancy sea salt hot chocolate, cinder toffee and firepit cakes, a celebration of toast plus ways to tell a good story around the fire, subversive cross stitch and how to keep your herbs going over winter? Oh and bibliotherapy, crafternoons and a poem about beautiful librarians. 

All this in our November COMFORT issue. You'll find us in even more Waitrose and Sainsbury's stores this month plus WH Smiths, Tesco and good independents. We're on sale now somewhere near you.

November's The Simple Things is out now - buy, download or subscribe.

How to use up discarded pumpkins

No need to jack in your jack-o-lantern: give it a new lease of life

Plant pot: Plant an annual within the soil-filled shell and dig into the ground. As it decomposes, it’ll fertilise your plant.

Compost: Put leaves inside the shell to speed the process. Break it into small pieces for a wormery.

Pumpkin printing: A potato printing alternative – cut into pieces and add paint.

Ant colony: Place your pumpkin near an existing colony (outside!). Honey or something sweet will bring all the ants to the gourd.

Bird feeder: We whipped one up last Halloween. Find out how to make a Halloween pumpkin bird feeder here. 

And a few suggestions from the internet that we don’t recommend:

Base for decorative floating candles: That’s likely to be one leaky vessel.

Eating it: Come November, it’s debatable how appetising your old Halloween lantern will look. 

More pumpkins! Here at The Simple Things, we love an outdoor gathering and Halloween is a great excuse to wrap up warm and enjoy all things pumpkin. Download our guide for how to use and eat pumpkins, and we’ve got a recipe for a bonfire parkin, too.  

And we could resist including this fella - knit a pumpkin hat (pattern from Cats in Hats by Sara Thomas (Hamlyn) octopusbooks.co.uk) 

Read more:

From the October issue

Pumpkin coconut curry recipe

Salted caramel toffee apples

October's The Simple Things is on sale - buy, download or subscribe now.

How to combat a common cold

Made it this far without succumbing? There are ways to keep the lurgy at bay – find out how to combat a common cold.

Wash your hands: cold viruses can live on indoor surfaces for up to seven days. Nice.

Don’t touch your nose or eyes: this lowers your chance of getting infected.

Blitz surfaces against germs: regularly wipe keyboards, door handles, light switches and phones.

Test your metal: evidence suggests zinc can reduce the length and severity of a cold if taken as symptoms start. 

Flower up: trials found those who took echinacea regularly were 30% less likely to get a cold.

Recipes: Three ways with coffee

So much more than a liquid caffeine fix, roasted ground beans will enhance all kinds of recipes

Beef in espresso and stout sauce with hasselback potatoes

Serves 4

To make the hasselback potatoes:

1. Prepare 12 small potatoes by finely slicing 2mm slices almost through but not quite to the bottom. 
2. Rub cut potatoes with 25g softened butter, 1 heaped tsp smoked paprika, finely grated zest of 1 lemon and two generous pinches of coarse sea salt.
3. Arrange on a baking tray and roast in a hot oven (200C/Fan 180C/375F) for about 40 mins until brown and crispy.
4. Set cooked potatoes aside to add to the top of the finished casserole. 

To make the casserole:

1. Marinate 750g chuck steak, cut into chunks, in 35ml freshly made espresso, for min 4hrs.
2. Melt 30g butter in a large pan and brown 125g cubed, smoked bacon.
3. Transfer bacon into a casserole with a slotted spoon. In the buttery bacon fat, lightly brown 250g whole, peeled baby shallots and transfer to casserole.
4. Toss the marinated beef in 30g seasoned plain flour, shake off excess and brown in the same pan before transferring to casserole.
5. Deglaze the pan with a slosh of stout (from 330ml bottle) and add this, with any scrapings, to the casserole.
6. Add remaining stout and a bouquet garni (homemade or tea bag), season and bring to the boil on the stovetop.
7. Cover and place in a low oven (120C/Fan 100C/250F) for 1½hrs.
8. Brown 250g button mushrooms in a little butter and add to the casserole for a further hr of cooking (2½hrs total), until the meat is tender.

VOLCANO MARTINI 

Makes 1. 
To give your martini a hint of vanilla, add the seeds from a vanilla pod to 240ml cold-brewed coffee and leave to infuse overnight (or you could just add or drop or two of vanilla essence per martini). 
Combine 50ml vodka and 30ml vanilla-infused cold-brewed coffee in a lidded container, such a cocktail mixer. 
Add 10–25ml condensed milk, to taste; shake and double strain into a chilled martini glass. 
Dust with grated dark chocolate and serve. 

ESPRESSO MILLIONAIRE’S SHORTBREAD

Makes 24 squares. 
Preheat the oven to 180C/Fan 160C/350F. 
Line a 33x23cm shallow tin with parchment. 
Put 210g melted butter, 110g caster sugar, 1 tsp vanilla extract, 1/2 tsp salt, 260g plain flour and 2 tbsp ground espresso coffee into a food processor and blitz to form a paste-like ball of dough. 
Press evenly into prepared tin and bake for 25-30mins until firm. W
hen cool, spread over contents of a 400g can of dulce de leche; set aside. 
To make the ganache, chunk 200g dark chocolate and 75g white chocolate into a bowl with 2 tsp sunflower oil. 
Put 200ml cream with 2 tsp ground espresso coffee into a pan over a medium heat. 
Heat until just before it bubbles, then remove from heat and strain through a sieve into the chocolate and oil. 
Leave for 1 min, then whisk gently to combine until smooth. Pour over caramel and smooth with palette knife. 
Leave somewhere cool (not the fridge) to set, then cut into squares.

Recipes courtesy of Volcano Coffee Works (www.volcanocoffeeworks.com), a small batch speciality coffee roaster

Give: Pots of joy

Our pick of homemade gifts for gardeners

1. Plant bulbs into pretty vintage ‘tea cup’ planters. Collect single teacups, sugar bowls or small milk jugs from charity shops or car boot sales. Use a ceramic tile bit and carefully drill a hole in the base. Add a thin layer of gravel then a layer of compost. Varieties to go for: miniature daffodils – ‘Tete a Tete’, ‘Minnow’ and ‘Rip Van Winkle’; violets – Viola odorata types which are hardy and long-flowering; grape hyacinth – muscari are delicate little blooms with a wonderful fragrance.

2. Herbs: you can’t go wrong giving pots of rosemary, thyme, basil and parsley as they can be used straight away and then planted out in garden in spring.

3. For that rare winter thing – a hit of floral scent – try forcing hyacinth bulbs or buy them forced. They put on a terrific show and smell divine. 

4. Beautiful and rose-like, pot up pretty Hellebores niger (Christmas rose) in an old tin planter to make a striking display that can be planted outdoors once it’s over to flower again the following winter.

Plenty more festive ideas for gifts, food and fun in December's issue of The Simple Things - buy, download or subscribe now. 

Photograph: Alice Hendy Photography