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Think | Memories of School PE

Iona Bower September 10, 2024

Whether we were Sporty Susies or, erm… Last-To-Be-Picked Lucys, all of us have a strong memory or two of PE at school. Here some of the Simple Things’ team share theirs


“I'm weirdly nostalgic about musty smelling netball bibs even though they would only let me play wing defence and still shout 'pivot, pivot, chest pass'! in my head whenever I think about netball.” Fiona, Subscriptions Manager

“We used to play rounders in the summer at school - I think by that point of the academic year, the PE teachers had given up persuading us into the more traditional/taxing sports. I remember it being good fun, and one particularly hot afternoon, running to catch someone out, arm outstretched, and the ball landing right into my hand like a mini miracle. Probably the high point of my sporting prowess.”
Jo, Commissioning Editor

“Every year my school held ‘The Dale’, a punishing cross-country run across local fields and woodland. And every year I miraculously came down with an ear infection at the just the right time to hand in a handwritten note from my mum asking for me to be excused (thanks Mum!). However, in my final year, they sprung it on us out of the blue so I had no option but to pull my socks up (quite literally) and get on with it. Having never run it before, I had no idea of the route, so in a panic, I fixed on a girl in my class to follow. I remember several points where I thought my lungs would burst, but I knew I couldn’t lose sight of my classmate, especially as there weren’t many other girls around to latch onto. It was only when I crawled across the finish line that I realised this girl was pretty athletic and in my one and only time running The Dale, I had come in the top five of my year.”
Abbie, Sub Editor

“When I was at secondary school I was fairly happy to do PE as most of the sports I didn’t mind. but as you near the end of secondary, you hit that phase where you want to get out of it and just chat with your mates. I remember a form tutor raising the amount of PE absences with the class once and a girl asked why they have to do PE. Her reply was brilliant. She said that when you're older you'll have to pay to participate in a class, join a gym or do a team sport. This is the one time it’s free and you get to do it with your mates. So make the most of it. Youth really is wasted on the young as she was completely right. What i'd do to be able to play football or cricket with mates twice a week for free now (ignoring the physical pain it would cause)!”
Rob, Sales Director

“I hated almost every sport we had to do (apart from rounders and badminton) until we got to year 10, I think, and bowling - as in ten-pin bowling - became an option. If you picked it, you went into town on a Monday afternoon, bowled as quickly as possible then you were allowed to leave for the day and me, Lila and Carrie would go to Littlewoods in the town centre and share fish and chips. Not sure that was the athleticism they were looking for. I felt it was fair payback for being made to run around our school field in winter in running knickers.”
Karen, Commissioning Editor

“At my rather old-fashioned convent school, we were ‘lucky’ enough to have an outdoor swimming pool, which was the stuff of nightmares. I vividly remember the games mistress using a pole to break up the thin strips of ice that would form on the top of the pool before we got in. We complained about it to our parents bitterly and generally considered the swimming pool to be a form of child abuse. It makes me laugh now to see all the people on Instagram indulging in cold water therapy and posting about how great they feel after a session. I consider myself an early adopter now! Maybe it was character building after all…”
Iona, Editor at Large


This blog was inspired by our wellbeing feature ‘One For The Team’, from our September issue, in which we look at how revisiting childhood team sports as an adult can benefit both body and mind. 

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Quiz | Which is your Spiritual Fictional Boarding School?

Iona Bower August 29, 2021

It’s almost time to pack up your pencil case and head back to school for the new term. But which school is the right fit for you? Take a trip through your childhood bookshelves with our back to school quiz and find out where you’re packing your cases for. 

 

1. How do you feel about academia?

a. It’s important to do your best, but far more important to be a well-rounded, solid young woman; the sort your school can be proud of.

b. Skool is wet and weedy. And thus only for wets and weeds. Generally I manadge  to bish it up sumhow.

c. I enjoyed the Latin I did with Father. But my governess says, that while a little culture is important, becoming a home-maker is what really counts. I’m hoping to apply myself a little more to my needlework this term.

d. I went to the local comp and it was fine but I always felt something was ‘missing’ that I couldn’t quite put my finger on. What I need is a little more guidance from the adults in my life. 

e. I try my best. It just always seems to go wrong somehow. 

 

2. How do you wear your school uniform?

a. Properly and with pride, naturally! I always feel a swell od satisfaction when I look at myself in the mirror in my smart tunic and boater. 

b.  At a rakish angel, as eny fule kno.

c.  Oh, I’m never out of it. It’s jolly attractive, you know. The deep blue really sets off my eyes, and the crimson honeycombing at the waist and white revers on the shoulder give it some lovely detailing. I think a good uniform is so important. 

d. There’s a lot of clobber and it tends to get rather a battering but there’s nothing an invisibility cloak won’t cover up. 

e. I never look quite right in it. My socks are usually falling down around my ankles and my boot laces trailing. My hat is usually either lost or bashed in on one side. 

 

3. What’s your ideal school dinner?

a. Not a word to matron, but obviously it’s a midnight feast! Tins of Carnation milk, sardines and perhaps even some chocolate if someone’s folks have been down for exeat weekend. 

b. Is ther indeed eny such thing? I hav lookd on in horror as the skool dinner lady serves up the peece of cod that passeth understanding and been ever after grateful to receev a simple skool sossige (assuming the rotten skool dog hav not already ate i)t and a spotted dick and custard. 

c. Sunday breakfasts are a firm favourite with me: get up late at nine, and then tuck into coffee with rolls and honey. 

d. Anything that’s followed by treacle tart. Magic!

e.  Tea, crumpets and butter, taken in front of the fire. 

 

4. What’s your strongest memory of school?

a. The words of my head teacher will always stay with me and I try to put them into use every day: “You’ll get a lot out of school. See that you put a lot back.”

b. My torture at the hands of the skool bully, Graber, captane of evry sports team, winner of the Miss Joyful Prize for raffia work and all round cad and bounder, is sumthing that will remane with me.

c. Golly, there was so much drama, I could scarcely say. Some poor girl was almost always succumbing to tuberculosis or getting caught in an avalanche and having a scrape with death. And we once had a spy in the school during the war. That was jolly exciting.

d. I had a couple of run-ins with an arch nemesis that definitely stick in the mind. 

e.  Being turned into a frog. 

 

5. What do you want to be when you grow up?

a. I know my folks would be rather pleased if I married a doctor like my father but I loved school so much, I think I’d like to be a teacher. 

b. Anything that gets me out of this skool, which is a bit of a shambles, as you can see. In fact, sumthing as far away as possible, so perhaps a career in space. Sumthing in a rocket that go ‘ur ur whoosh’ and fly me up to the moon, from were I may look down on skool and all the clot-faced wets therein and larf. 

c. I’d like to go back to England and go up to Oxford, which would make Mummy terribly proud, but if not, I shall probably study at one of the art needlework schools and start a family. I’m not sure there’s much in between is there?

d. I’m keeping an open mind. I’d just like to follow my destiny really. 

e. Something working with animals. They understand me better than people. 

 

 

Answers

Add up the number of As, Bs, Cs etc to find our which is your Spirit Boarding School

Mostly As: Lacrosse sticks at the ready: you’re off to Malory Towers. Hurrah!

Mostly Bs: CAVE! CAVE! It’s the beak:  you’re off to St Custard’s with Molesworth and co.

Mostly Cs: Lummy, don’t forget your snow shoes: you’re off to the Chalet School. 

Mostly Ds: Lumos! Don’t be late for the Hogwarts Express. You’re going to wizarding school!

Mostly Es: Drat! You’re off to Miss Cackle’s Academy for Witches. Let’s hope you’re not the Worst Witch there.

If that has got you feeling nostalgic for more books you once owned, don’t miss our Looking Back feature on children’s fiction in our September issue.

Buy this month's The Simple Things - buy, download or subscribe

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Schools Allotment Week

Lottie Storey July 12, 2018

For the first time this year, schools around the country are getting the chance to show off their gardening skills with the launch of Schools Allotment Week.

From 16th to 22nd July, The National Allotment Society will be celebrating schools in the UK who have an impressive allotment plot on an allotment site or in their school grounds. In particular, they’ll be looking for schools with a range of crops, ones who use the produce they grow and also that consider bio-diversity and the role of predator and pollinators on their allotment.

One winning school will be revealed during the Week itself, with a trophy and plaque awarded along with gardening seeds and £250 of gardening vouchers from Nature’s Path. 

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Nature’s Path, the organic and gluten-free cereal pioneer, is a champion of the outdoors. Its guiding ethos is ‘Always leave the earth better than you found it’, something that’s shared by anyone with a love of gardening.

The company’s commitment to the environment is rooted in sustainability and it is an active supporter of community and urban gardening initiatives. It also maintains a large garden at its HQ – with produce distributed amongst its staff.

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As such, the family firm is proud to be supporting Schools Allotment Week. In fact, it actively encourages the education of kids and families about the environment and our planet. 1% of the revenues of its Envirokidz cereal is given to nominated animal charities who are working hard to save endangered animals, protect their habitats and educate kids worldwide. Schools Allotment Week is another important campaign that can teach our future generations about the value of taking care of the environment around us.

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As well as Schools Allotment Week, Nature’s Path is this year supporting National Allotment week on 13th to 19th August. This year’s theme is ‘Living and Growing’. It highlights the importance of allotments and of growing your own food and incorporating fruit and vegetable gardening into your lives.

For further information on Schools Allotment Week and National Allotment Week visit https://www.nsalg.org.uk/news-events-campaigns/schools-allotment-week-16-22-july-2018/

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For further details on Nature’s Path visit www.naturespath.co.uk

In Sponsored post Tags sponsored, allotment, school, Nature's Path
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Image: Getty

Image: Getty

Looking back | Build your own Malory Towers

Lottie Storey September 13, 2017

The lacrosse and midnight feasts of boarding school novels are far removed from real life for most of us. So why does our love of such girlhood fiction endure?

On page 86 of September’s The Simple Things, we look at the school run of days gone by - from The Worst Witch to the Chalet School. 

Here, we outline how to build your own Malory Towers. Our fictitious boarding school primer sets out the jolly necessary ingredients

THE HEROINE

Must be flawed but only to a small extent. Will either start off hating the school (see the O’Sullivan Twins and Elizabeth, The Naughtiest Girl in the School) or will be desperate to please but have to work to overcome said character flaw (see Darrell and her oft-referenced hot temper).

THE VILLAIN

The most disliked girl in the school will usually have committed a crime so heinous as to scoff an entire box of chocs in bed or be secretly working class and ‘put on airs and graces’. See Pauline at St Clare’s who is ‘outed’ as working class when her mother visits and is mistaken for a school cook – the shame... Basically, being cowardly, nouveau riche or a little plump is equal to being Carlos the Jackal in boarding school land.

THE TOMBOY

Usually has short hair and is ‘as brown as an acorn’ (to make clear her love of the outdoors). May well have 16 older brothers.

THE GLAMOROUS AMERICAN

Will have a ‘drawl’ which grates on the other girls and probably aspirations of becoming
a Hollywood actress. Usually is also lazy and dislikes PE.

THE DOESN’T-GET-IT FRENCH PUPIL

Tends to be ‘dark’ to denote some sort of European exoticism. Will have a hilarious accent and mispronounce words to the delight of her peers who all have English
as a first language and consider themselves superior in this respect.

THE SOLID AND KIND HEADMISTRESS

Generally all headmistresses are solid and kind. Miss Grayling of Malory Towers, particularly so.

THE TWINS

Usually identical to ensure maximum confusion and top japes.

THE PRANKSTER

Probably has ‘sparkling eyes’ to show their good-humoured mischief and a tuck box full of fake dog poo, invisible string and itching powder.

THE GENIUS

Must be of an artistic bent, for example, skilled in music or painting. Being academic is merely expected.

  Buy ,  download  or  subscribe   See the sample of our latest issue  here   Buy a copy of our latest anthology:  A Year of Celebrations   Buy a copy of  Flourish 2 , our wellbeing bookazine  Listen to  our podcast  - Small Ways to Live Well

Get hold of your copy of this month's The Simple Things - buy, download or subscribe

View the sampler here.

 

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In Think Tags issue 63, september, looking back, school, back to school, books
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Featured
  Buy ,  download  or  subscribe   See the sample of our latest issue  here   Buy a copy of our latest anthology:  A Year of Celebrations   Buy a copy of  Flourish 2 , our wellbeing bookazine  Listen to  our podcast  - Small Ways to Live Well
Feb 27, 2025
Feb 27, 2025

Buy, download or subscribe

See the sample of our latest issue here

Buy a copy of our latest anthology: A Year of Celebrations

Buy a copy of Flourish 2, our wellbeing bookazine

Listen to our podcast - Small Ways to Live Well

Feb 27, 2025
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The Simple Things is published by Iceberg Press

The Simple Things

Taking time to live well

We celebrate slowing down, enjoying what you have, making the most of where you live, enjoying the company of of friends and family, and feeding them well. We like to grow some of our own vegetables, visit local markets, rummage for vintage finds, and decorate our home with the plunder. We love being outdoors and enjoy the satisfaction that comes with a job well done.

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