How to | Connect with a Friend

The last couple of years have really made us think about what our friends mean to us. But when you haven’t seen someone special for a while, or regular meet-ups fall by the wayside it can be hard to reach out. Here are our favourite ten ideas for ways to reconnect with a friend, or simply to remind someone why they are valued and loved. 

1. Send a postcard. You don’t have to be on holiday - a picture postcard from a museum or gallery or simply of the town you live in will make a friend smile. You can even make postcards of your own photos on card-sending websites like Thortful.com and send it online with your own message. 

2. Lend a book. Finished a book you loved? Pop it through your friend’s door and then pencil in a very exclusive book club meet to discuss it. 

3. Organise a road trip. It worked for Thelma and Lousie… until it didn’t. It doesn’t have to be terribly exciting but being told to keep a morning free and then whisked off for a picnic, a coffee and a gallery or just a drive to somewhere beautiful and a long chinwag on the way there is the stuff memories are made of. 

4. Bond over a box set. Are you both Pottery Throwdown nuts or Sewing Bee superfans? If you can’t watch from the same sofa, make an appointment for a phone call from your respective sofas so you can dissect each moment as it happens. 

5. Jog a memory. Dig out an old photo of you both and email it to her, or send her a DVD of a film you watched together a long time ago. 

6. Take up a hobby together. Going to Nordic Walking together or meeting each week before a drawing class means you’re both more likely to show up. And when there’s inevitably someone slightly irritating in the class, you can laugh about it after over a glass of wine. 

7. Make plans. Every journey starts with a single step, and even if it’s a long way off, planning a holiday, a big celebration or simply a special day out is a lovely way to spend a few hours with someone you love. And a good friend will never laugh when you get out your moodboards. 

8. Use the element of surprise. Whether it’s a bunch of flowers, a ticket to an online lecture, or a fancy meal kit, receiving a little treat for no reason at all feels just lovely, and is an excellent way to show someone that they are in your thoughts and that you value their friendship. 

9. Make a mix tape (or a Spotify playlist if you aren’t in the 1980s). It was how we showed our love when we were 13 and we all know there is no friendship as intense as that between two 13 year olds who love the same bands. Include songs you know she likes as well as songs that mean something to both of you. 

10. Grow your own. We all like receiving homegrown fruit or veg. Go one better and take her a jar of jam or chutney made from your produce and then later in the year, a few seeds from your plants so she can grow something from something you grew yourself! Aw!

We were inspired to think more about our friends this month having read our feature on why we need friends, by theschooloflife.com. You can read all about it in our July issue, on sale now. Buy this month's The Simple Things - buy, download or subscribe

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Nature Studies | Butterflies vs Moths

Butterflies are poster children among insects. In contrast, moths are routinely vilified. Yet moths and butterflies are essentially the same

• All are scale-winged creatures in the order Lepidoptera, more closely related to one another than falcons are to hawks. Evolutionarily, the six butterfly families nestle within 120-ish moth families.

• In the 18th century, they were generally all known as ‘flies’. The word ‘butterfly’ supposedly came about because one springflying species (the Brimstone) was referred to as the “buttercoloured fly.”

• The six families that became known as the butterflies all have a couple of major characteristics in common: they fly exclusively (or nearly so) by day, and have bulbous tips to their antennae (which only a few moths do).

• However, supposedly consistent differences disintegrate under cross-examination. In fact, we have four times more day-flying moth species than butterflies, for example.

• Linguistically, English is an outlier in differentiating between moths and butterflies. French, German and Dutch refer to butterflies and night-butterflies.

If you’d like to learn more about butterflies, in our July issue, our regular feature, ‘Know A Thing Or Two’ looks at butterflies. Buy this month's The Simple Things - buy, download or subscribe

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Birdwatch | The Swift

The fastest bird in flight in the UK, you’ll need to look up to spot swifts as they live life on the wing, even sleeping in flight, and only coming to rest during nesting.

Look for: Black silhouettes (but actually dark brown feathers), with a forked tail and long wings coming to a point. If you can get close enough you might make out a pale patch at the throat.

Spot them: In towns and villages, as they nest in the eaves of buildings. Dusk is a good time as they flit about, chasing insects.

Listen for: Something described as a ‘scream’ but really a high, one-note whistle, and ‘screaming parties’ in the evening when they get together for a big shout out.

Join us in The Simple Things bird hide every month on our Almanac pages, where we have lots more seasonal things to note and notice, plan and do. Buy this month's The Simple Things - buy, download or subscribe

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Go gökotta | (wake up with the birds)

Summer means long evenings spent outdoors but don’t go to bed so late you miss out on the joy of an early summer’s morning. Make like the Swedes and go gökotta… 

The Scandinavians seem to have single-handedly cornered the wellbeing market in recent years, thanks in part to their knack for coining words for some fairly random activities. First there was hygge, then there was lykke and lagom and now there’s gökotta, a Swedish word that literally translates to “rising at dawn to listen to bird song.” 

But getting up early doesn’t have to <just> be about the dawn chorus. Here are a few more ways to go gökotta and make the most of early rising this summer.

1. Have a breakfast picnic somewhere beautiful. The beach, a nearby hill, someone’s garden… If you need any more inspiration, read our feature Morning Has Broken in the July issue of The Simple Things. 

2. Have a quiet chat with your garden. While there’s still dew on the grass, get out and enjoy your garden in a different light. It will thank you for watering it nice and early too, before the sun can scorch the leaves. 

3. Write morning pages. If you’ve not heard of this, it’s the practice of writing three sides of A4 (long hand not typed) each morning before you do anything else. The idea is that you catch yourself before you are fully conscious so you write without any filter, about what really matters to you. Give it a go - you could have a novel by next year!

4. Make overnight oats. A hearty and wholesome breakfast that is all ready for you in the fridge always makes us smile. Prepare the night before (the internet is full of recipe ideas or turn to page 9 of our July issue for our recipe for banoffee overnight oats) and then grab them from the fridge at 6am and eat them in your pyjamas in the garden. 

5. Read. With more of us working from home these days, many of us have lost the time we spent reading on a commute. And finding time in a busy day to sit down with a book is always hard. Set your alarm just half an hour earlier than you usually would and ringfence that time for reading. 

6. Exercise like nobody’s watching (because they’re all still in bed). If you’re just starting out as a runner or cyclist and feel a little self conscious, try going at 6am when the streets are quiet. Heck, why not go the whole hog and go rollerskating or Nordic walking? In the early morning, you have no one to answer to (and no one to laugh if you fall over). 

7. Be the first in the bakery queue. There’s nothing like the pleasure of a loaf, warm out of the oven. And is that an almond croissant you’re just getting out too? Yes, two of those please!

8. Start a secret hobby. When you’re up before everyone else, you can do all sorts of things no one knows about… spend an hour in the early hours learning a new language, taking an online art class or getting really good at yoga. In a few months you’ll have the pleasure of leaving friends and family open-mouthed as you order your dinner in Catalan/hang a painting on the wall you created/do an impressive headstand. 

9. Get serious about coffee. We never said early rising was easy, but caffeine always makes it a bit less of a wrench, and a fancy aeropress or cafetiere and a bag of really good coffee will make hearing your alarm go off a joy. Or you could try making your own tea blends with dried herbs and flowers from your garden. Whatever your morning tipple, you can make it a bit of a special event, and spend a while savouring it alone. 

10. Indulge in a bit of water therapy. Go for a swim as soon as the pool opens, have a long soak in the bath or take a cold shower and feel your skin zing. Immersing yourself in water is a wonderful ritual that benefits both body in mind as you wash away the day and the night before and begin the day feeling cleansed and new. 

If you’re feeling inspired to make the most of your early mornings, you might like to buy a copy of our new Everyday Anthology. Featuring good food, forgotten wisdom, mindfulness and microadventures, projects and pastimes, it’s a dip-in guide to dawn, day, dusk and dark.

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Think | Why we Love Tiny Stuff

Tiny things are cute, aren’t they? We don’t know why they make us squeal with delight, but they do.

Better yet, though, is the idea of being tiny ourselves. Which of us hasn’t, at some point, longed to eat at a table made from a cotton reel, or curl up in a matchbox bed? Our books, films and dreams are filled with characters that are either already diminutive in size or become tiny, from Alice to Tom Thumb and many more. Let’s crouch down very low, speak very quietly, and meet a few of them…

Mrs Pepperpot

Mrs Pepperpot is a charming Norwegian creation. She lives with her husband, Mr Pepperpot (obvs) in a country cottage and her dark secret is that occasionally she shrinks to the size of a Pepperpot and goes on adventures. We loved it for the gorgeous detail of the pickles Pepperpot gets into when her world suddenly becomes huge and pigeons become the size of T-Rexes.  Also, if you thought ‘Pepperpot’ was hard to say, just be glad you aren’t reading it in the original Norwegian in which she is called ‘Teskjekjerringa’ (Mrs Teaspoon). 

Stuart Little

Stuart Little (nominative determinism in action right there) is the main protagonist from the 1945 novel of the same name by EB White (most famous for Charlotte’s Web). Stuart is born to an ordinary couple living in New York and is completely ordinary himself… other than being 5cm tall and looking like a mouse. Round of applause for EB White for having the brass neck to style out a human couple simply giving birth to a mouse and it drawing no comment. Our favourite thing about Stuart Little though, was probably his motorised toy car that he zipped around the United States in. That’s what we’d do if we were mice. 

The Kids from Honey, I Shrunk the Kids

Some siblings and their neighbours’ kids are shrunk to a quarter of an inch apiece when they accidentally set off their inventor father’s ray gun shrinking machine. Once shrunk only the dog can hear them and they battle to let their father (Rick Moranis) know what has befallen them. Includes many iconic moments - you are not a child of the 1980s if you haven’t checked your spoonful of Cheerios for tiny children before conveying it to your mouth. 

The Borrowers

Perhaps the most famous of shrinkers. Which of us can honestly say they didn’t fall in love with the teeny tiny lifestyle of Homily, Pod and Arietty, under the floorboards, borrowing everyday domestic items from the ‘human beans’ to make themselves furniture, tools and more. You’ll never discard an empty matchbox thoughtlessly again.

Ant Man

Mild-mannered scientist Hank Pym develops a technology that enables him to shrink to the size of an ant. But unlike other shrinkers he can also communicate with and control the ants, using them as his private army. An excellent superpower we all wish we had come the middle of summer when no pot of jam left unattended is safe…

The Incredible Shrinking Woman

In this 1981 film parody of The Incredible Shrinking Man, suburban housewife Pat Kramer is exposed to an experimental perfume made by her husband’s company. This is why we never let our husbands choose perfume for us. She has to move into a doll’s house and is then kidnapped by a group of scientists who plan to experiment on her in order to shrink everyone in the world. We reckon Pat herself might have preferred the more peaceful shrinking life of Mrs Pepperpot, but it’s an exciting watch.

Kay Harker

The main protagonist from John Masefield’s The Box of Delights is able to ‘go swift’ and fly and ‘go small’ and shrink. Sometimes he even does both at the same time, in order to rescue the country’s clergy in time for Christmas. Best shrinking moment? Escaping down a river in a tiny model boat.

The Lilliputians 

It’s during Gulliver’s first voyage that he is shipwrecked on the island of Lilliput, where the inhabitants are less than six inches tall and also rather small in mind, seeming to care about insignificant things enormously. They once had a disagreement, we learn, with the inhabitants of a neighbouring island about whether to break an egg at ‘the small end’ or ‘the big end’, which gave rise to six rebellions. Gulliver helps the Lilliputians but eventually falls from favour after urinating on a fire to put it out for them. There’s no helping some Lilliputians, is there?

The Whos

Perhaps the tiniest of the all the tiny people in our rundown, the Whos are the creation of Dr Seuss. They live in Whoville, a city which exists within a speck of dust, which is eventually placed on a clover flower by Horton the Elephant. They are warm, welcoming furry beings, with dog-shaped noses and twelve toes each. The Whos made their debut in Horton Hears A Who but are best known for their part in teaching the Grinch the true meaning of the festive season in How The Grinch Stole Christmas…
“Every Who down in Who-ville, the tall and the small,
Was singing! Without any presents at all!
He HADN'T stopped Christmas from coming!IT CAME!
Somehow or other, it came just the same!”

Terry Pratchett’s Carpet People

“In the beginning there was nothing but endless flatness,” we are told. “Then came the carpet.” The carpet is now inhabited by many different tribes and peoples and this is the story of their adventures. A wonderful, escapist read for anyone who spent hours as a child laying on the carpet contemplating the crumbs, the dust and anything else that might be inhabiting the wool pile. 

If you love all things tiny, don’t miss our feature on why love miniatures. It’s called ‘Tiny Happy People’ and it starts on page 66 of our July issue, in shops now. Buy this month's The Simple Things - buy, download or subscribe

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Recipe | Cherry & Coconut Tahini Cake

They may have a hard centre, but summer stone fruits make soft, sweet and sticky cakes that are all heart, says Benjamina Ebuehi

Serves 6-8

120g unsalted butter, softened, plus extra for greasing
150g light brown sugar
40g tahini
2 eggs
130g plain flour
50g desiccated coconut
1½ tsp baking powder
¼ tsp ground cardamom
¼ tsp salt
90g cherries, pitted and halved
1 tsp sesame seeds

For the glaze:
40g cherries, pitted and halved
½ tbsp lemon juice
100g icing sugar

1 Preheat the oven to 180C/Fan 160C/ Gas 4. Grease and line a 15cm cake pan.

2 Using a stand mixer or electric whisk, cream the butter and sugar together for 4-5 mins until pale and fluffy. Add the tahini and beat for another minute. Add the eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition.

3 In a separate bowl, mix together the flour, coconut, baking powder, ground cardamom and salt. Pour the mixture into the butter mixture and mix on low speed until combined.

4 Spoon the batter into the prepared pan and add the cherries on top, along with the sesame seeds. Bake for 50-55 mins, or until a skewer inserted into the middle of the cake comes out clean. Turn the cake out onto a wire rack and leave to cool.

5 To make the glaze, add the cherries and the lemon juice to a small bowl and mash with a fork. Pass the mixture through a fine sieve, squeezing and pressing to get out as much juice as possible. Add the icing sugar to the juice and mix until you have a smooth, pourable consistency. Once the cake has cooled, drizzle over the glaze.

Taken from A Good Day to Bake by Benjamina Ebuehi (Quadrille) Photography: Laura Edwards. This is just one of the gorgeous stone fruit recipes from Benjamina that we have featured in our July issue, which is on sale now. Buy this month's The Simple Things - buy, download or subscribe

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Make | Pounded Flower Art

An edgy twist on the gentler art of flower pressing, pounded flower art is a chance to create something beautiful while also getting a bit of exercise and working off any latent aggression that you’d not realised you were holding on to. 

You’ll need a collection of flowers – the more colourful the better. Flowers from your own garden are lovely, but you can always cheat and buy a bunch that you like. You’ll also need a sheet of watercolour paper, a paper towel and a mallet. If it turns out really well, you might want a picture frame, too. 

Pick the flower heads from the stems and lay them face down on the watercolour paper, arranged in an attractive pattern. Place the paper towel on top of them, then take your mallet and pound the petals into the paper, beginning at the outside and working inwards, but avoiding the polleny centres, which don’t look so pretty pounded. The colours and shapes of the petals should ‘take’ onto the watercolour paper beneath, leaving a lovely pattern. 

Peel off and discard the paper towel and flowers, then admire (or frame) your handiwork.

This project is from our July Almanac pages, which have lots more seasonal things to note and notice, plan and do each month. 

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Tipple | Lemon Basil Spritzer

A refreshing drink for warm garden days

Serves 6

240g granulated sugar
Zest of 1 lemon, peeled into strips
3 large lemon basil leaves (sweet basil works, too), plus more to garnish
750ml bottle dry sparkling wine, chilled

1 In a small pan, gently heat the sugar and 250ml water until the sugar has dissolved. Add half the lemon zest strips and the three basil leaves, cover and set aside to steep for 30 mins.

2 Pour the mixture through a coffee filter, keeping the liquid and discarding the peel/leaves. Allow to cool for 1 hr.

3 In a large jug, combine the syrup with the sparkling wine and stir.

4 Fill six glasses with ice and pour over the spritzer. Garnish with basil leaves and lemon zest twists.

This idea is from our regular ‘Pick and Mix’ series on growing and eating flowers and herbs. This month we’re using lavender and basil and Lottie Storey has recipes for Fig Toast with Whipped Honey and Lavender Labne, Rosemary, Basil and Za’atar Aubergines and a Lavender and Honey Cheesecake.

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Playlist | Blue space

Our soundtrack to July
”Nothin’ but blue skies do I see…”

Take a listen on Spotify here
Or find a playlist for every mood by searching ‘simplethingsmag’ on Spotify