The beginnings of board games

From Cluedo to Call of Cthulhu, we’ve the Mesoptamians to thank

If you’ve ever played Monopoly with an enthusiastic eight-year-old at Christmas you might have experienced the strange phenomenon by which two-and-a-half hours can seem like four-and-a-half centuries. So if you’d like to woo them away from an unending game with the lure of something that really has been going for four-and-a-half centuries, you might like to step down to the British Museum before Christmas.

The museum has on display a copy of the world’s oldest playable board game, known as The Game of Ur. “Er… what?” we hear you cry. Well, here’s the lowdown.

The game was uncovered in a tomb in a royal cemetery at Ur, southern Iraq and is thought to date from around 2,500BC, making it 4,500 years old… That’s about the length of time your great aunt likes to cook sprouts for, for context. The wood has long since decayed but the beautiful board is intricately decorated in shell, red limestone and lapis lazuli. It certainly knocks Cluedo into a cocked hat,

It’s a ‘race’ game (like Snakes and Ladders) but with a bit more skill and strategy involved, for two players.  It uses two sets of seven pieces similar to draught pieces, and the board consists of two ‘boxes’ with smaller boxes within, joined by a narrow bridge. You make your move by rolling two four-sided dice. The winner is the first person to move all their pieces through the board and off. It’s a lot more complex than that but there’s nothing more tedious than reading board game instructions un-anesthetised by half a bottle of sherry.

This year, The British Museum Shop has created a replica of the original game using ancient writings and archaeological evidence to piece together the rules. There’s also an advanced gameplay rules just in case you get too good at Ur, and even an Ur scarf, for anyone wanting to signal their approval but sit this particular ancient game out and head off for a bracing walk instead.

Now. Whose turn is it to go first?

Buy this month's The Simple Things - buy, download or subscribe

More festive fun and games

More from our December issue

Recipe | Mac 'n' Cheese Balls

Mac ‘n’ Cheese you can eat with your hands? We’re in! These moreish bites are ideal for a games night, when you need to eat one-handed if you don’t want to lose.

Makes about 30 balls

300g macaroni
40g butter
40g plain flour
1 tsp mustard powder
250ml milk
150ml single cream
100g cheddar, grated
50g parmesan, grated
Parsley leaves to garnish, optional

For the coating:
40g cheddar, grated
Small handful parsley
5 crackers, crushed

1 Preheat the oven to 220C/ Fan 200C/Gas 7. Meanwhile, line 2 baking sheets with baking paper (or cook in smaller batches).

2 Cook the macaroni according to pack instructions, minus 2 mins (as it will be finished off in the oven).

3 Mix together the ingredients for the coating on a plate and set aside.

4 In a medium pan, melt the butter. Once foaming, stir in the flour and keep stirring over the heat for about 2 mins. Remove from the heat, stir in the mustard powder and season.

5 In a large jug combine the milk and cream and start adding that gradually to the butter and flour mixture. Stir to fully combine it before adding the next splash. Once it’s all added, return the pan to the heat, bring to a boil and simmer for 2 min, stirring constantly. The mixture should begin to thicken. Remove from the heat and stir in the grated cheddar and parmesan.

6 Drain the pasta and add it to a bowl. Pour over the cheese sauce and mix.

7 With your lined baking tray and coating ingredients easy to hand, start forming small balls. Take a tablespoon of macaroni cheese, form it into a loose ball then roll in the coating and place on the baking tray.

8 Bake for 20 mins, turning halfway – the cheese should be starting to brown. Serve with a parsley garnish.

This recipe is just one on the menu on our Gathering pages this month, a feast for a board games evening that we’ve called ‘Let the Games Begin!’ It also features cauliflower bites, mini beetroot & sweet potato burgers, mini lamb & mint burgers, halloumi bites, winter slaw, churros with chocolate sauce and root beer floats.

More snacks to serve…

More from our blog…

Quiz | What's Your Board Game Personality

Are you a role player or a traditional race gamer? Card shark or collaborator? Take our Simple Things Board Games quiz and find out what your board game strengths are and which sorts of play you would be best suited to. Let the games begin!

1. What was your best subject at school?

A. Probably PE. It was always great to get outside from a stuffy classroom and I was on all the school teams. 

B. Drama. I threw myself into every school play. I was always a bit of a nerd and felt happier when hiding behind a role. 

C. I was barely there! I’d go into school in the morning for registration, then get changed in the girls’ toilets and head into town for the day over the back gate. 

D. I was a bit of a maths genius. I’m still faster than the till in the supermarket!

E. Geography. I like seeing the world from others’ perspectives

2. What’s your greatest fear?

A. Losing. 

B. Real life. 

C. Being bored.

D. I’m not saying. 

E. Upsetting others.

3. What’s your ideal board games night snack?

A. Something quick and easy to eat like a pile of nachos.

B. Cran (dwarven bread) and a selection of rustic cheeses.
C. A huge seafood platter, with lobster crackers to get into the crustaceons. Your guests are going to have to WORK for their snacks.
D. Hard liquor. 

E. A few sharing platters, taking into account the vegans, low-carbers and kids. 

4. What’s your motto in a crisis?

A. If you’re going through hell, go fast.

B. Be yourself and if you can’t be yourself, be a Dragon Queen!

C. In. Out. Get the kettle on. 

D. Just roll the dice and see what happens. 

E. No person left behind. 

5. What’s your aesthetic?

A. Simple and classic never lets you down. 

B. A little edgy. Steampunk with a bit of buxom wench thrown in. 

C. Outdoorsy and practical. There’s no such thing as bad weather - just the wrong clothing.  

D. Sleek and smart. You can’t go wrong with a little black dress. 

E. Cottage core and a bit countryside chic. 

6. What’s your Simple Thing?

A. A run round the park, taking in the outdoor gym.

B. Losing myself in a story. 

C. Wild swimming in winter. 

D. Getting the last space in the car park just ahead of someone else!

E. Crafting with friends around the kitchen table.

Now add up your scores…

Mostly As

You’re best at traditional ‘race’ games such as Snakes and Ladders. You like to know exactly what the parameters of any challenge are but you accept that luck plays a large part in life. 

Board game recommendation: Escape from Colditz.

Mostly Bs

Your gaming style is RPG (role play games) like Dungeons and Dragons. You throw yourself wholeheartedly into occasions, never being too embarrassed to give something your all (especially if it involves fighting an orc or stealing a dragon’s gold).

Board game recommendation: Munchkin.

Mostly Cs

You’re an Escape Room aficionado. You like thrills and spills and an element of danger and love to live life bu the seat of your pants. 

Board game recommendation: Cluedo Robbery at the Museum: an escape and solve game.

Mostly Ds

Your gaming style is ‘card shark’. You take games seriously and are always first to suggest getting the wallets out to ‘make it more interesting’. It’s hard to tell when you’re having fun though, due to your poker face. 

Board game recommendation: Splendor. 

Mostly Es

You’re the sort of person who likes collaborative games. You don’t really like anyone to lose and just want it to be fun for everyone. 

Board game recommendation: Mysterium

This quiz was inspired by our Gathering feature in our January issue, which is a menu designed for a board games evening, with food you can eat one-handed and share with your team mates easily. It includes halloumi and cauliflower bites, winter slaw, mac and cheese balls, two types of burgers, churros and root beer floats. 

More games and fun…

More from the January issue…

How to | win at outdoor Scrabble

Get your game face on. Here’s how to win with words this summer

We do love a board game here at The Simple Things, and we see no reason not to continue playing board games just because the warmer weather is here. Weren’t the best days at school those summer days when you were allowed to take your work outside onto the field, after all? 

So gather up your scrabble, Cluedo and Monopoly and take them out into the garden. A bit of fresh air should inspire your gaming brain and if you’re lucky, the sun will addle your competitors’ brains, giving you the edge.

To give you a headstart on all the fun, we’ve collated the highest scoring words of every length in Scrabble. Learn these off by heart and don’t tell any of your gaming competitors. 

Nine letters

An EXOENZYME is an enzyme that is secreted by a cell and functions outside of that cell. On the Scrabble board (without any double or triple letter word scores, even) it will win you 30 points.

Eight letters

SOVKHOZY - the plural for a state-owned farm in Russia. Earns 30 points. 

Seven letters* 

The highest scoring seven-letter word in Scrabble is MUZJIKS. The word refers to Russian peasants, particularly pre-1917 and scores 29 points. 

Six letters

Slightly disappointingly, the highest score achievable is for MUZJIK (see seven letters), which scores 28. If you feel that’s too much like cheating you could try QUACKY for 24 points.

Five letters

ZIPPY (as in speedy) will score you 21 points (and get rid of that tricky ‘z’. 

Four letters

Cleverly, QUIZ earns 22 points, giving you more bang for your buck with four letters than you could earn with five!

Three letters

You’ll score 19 points with ZAX, which is a tool for trimming and puncturing roof slates. So now you know.

Two letters

Both ZA and QI will score you 11 points with only two tiles. We were suspicious about ‘za’. Apparently, it’s a shortened term for ‘pizza’, which sounds highly dubious to us, but it is in fact in the Scrabble dictionary. Qi (pronounced ‘chee’) is, of course, the vital force that is inherent in all things, according to Chinese wisdom. You can add an ‘s’ to both Za and Qi, too, and it wouldn’t be qi-ting at all!

*Don’t forget if you play all seven of your tiles at once you earn an additional 50 points. 

If you’re really struck by the idea of outdoor board games, buy our August ‘Pause’ issue, which has instructions on p124 for making your own giant outdoor Scrabble set.

Get hold of your copy of this month's The Simple Things - buy, download or subscribe 

More from our August issue…

More fun and games…