Recipe: Ploughman's scones

Cheesy scones. With cheese… What? This is fine.

We’re big fans of a Ploughman’s Lunch here at The Simple Things. And, while you might think the story of The Ploughman’s would be something of a pastoral, in fact it’s something more prosaic altogether.

Of course, farming types have been slinging a cloth filled with bread, a hunk of cheese and an apple in their bags for centuries. But it was The Cheese Bureau which first germinated the idea. The Bureau wrote in its monthly bulletin in 1956 that it “exists for the admirable purpose of popularising cheese and, as a corollary, the public house lunch of bread, beer, cheese and pickle. This traditional combination was broken by rationing; the Cheese Bureau hopes, by demonstrating the natural affinity of the two parties, to effect a remarriage”. To be honest, we’re just thrilled to hear there is such a thing as The Cheese Bureau and we’re wondering if we can arrange some work experience with them… We digress.

The Cheese Bureau clearly made sterling efforts to put the component part of a Ploughman’s back on the pub table. But it was The Milk Marketing Board which picked up the idea in the 1960s and ran with it, coining the phrase ‘Ploughman’s Lunch’ to describe this combination of bread, cheese, apple (and, one hopes, a huge brown pickled onion and a stick of crunchy celery). The Ploughman’s Lunch was hoped to boost the sale of cheese, particularly through pubs and it worked a treat. We’re still eating Ploughman’s Lunches with gusto half a century later.

So, in the spirit of entrepeneurship, in our April issue’s Gathering, we have this jolly little recipe for Ploughman’s Scones. We recommend you serve them stuffed with cheese and chutney alongside an apple and a pickled onion or two.

The Ploughman’s Scones are part of our Any-Time Tea Party feature by Catherine Frawley, which also includes recipes for Hot Cross Bun Loaf, Mini Egg Rocky Road, Mini Victoria Sponges and Marshmallow Pops. Make it for an Easter treat or just, you know, any time. The recipes are in our April issue, which is in the shops now.

Makes 10–12

225g self-raising flour, plus extra to dust

1 tsp baking powder 55g butter, cubed

125g cheddar, grated

60ml milk, plus extra to glaze to serve

Cheddar cheese

Branston pickle

1 Preheat oven to 200C/Fan 180C/ Gas 6 and line a baking sheet with baking parchment.

2 Sift the flour, baking power and a pinch of salt into a bowl. Add the butter and rub with your fingertips until you have a breadcrumb mixture.

3 Gently mix in 100g grated cheese, make a well in the centre, then pour in the milk slowly, mixing until you have a soft but firm dough.

4 Dust the work surface with flour and roll the dough to about 2cm thick. Using a 5cm cutter, cut out your scones, re-rolling and cutting the remaining dough, until it’s all used.

5 Place the scones on the baking tray, brush with milk and sprinkle with the remaining grated cheese. Bake for 12–15 mins or until golden brown. Leave to cool on a rack, then serve with slices of cheddar and pickle.

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More from our April issue…

More afternoon tea recipes…

How to: Party like a Viking

In this very special The Simple Things ‘Gathering’ we share some ideas for celebrating the ‘the lightening of the year’, Viking style. Gather your closest com-raiders to mark the depths of winter with ‘a great shout of anger at the darkness’.

Fancy a few (thousand) friends round for a simple (read: mostly booze) supper? January’s the time to celebrate like a Viking. In Shetland, they celebrate Up Helly Aa, or ‘the lightening of the year’ by getting quite angry with the darkness and lighting, feasting and revelling to really show the dark who’s boss.

Light a few (hundred) fires, get in some (tons) of good food and a few (gallons of) drinks and let the good times roll. And the good news is, if you don’t survive, at least you won’t have to deal with any of those greasy baking trays you left to soak in the morning! Here’s all you need to know to throw a gathering like a true Viking:

Carriages at… whenever, really

Don’t embarrass yourself by suggesting a departure time. A few days should cover it but if you’re doing a proper celebration we recommend you set aside 12 days and nights. If you’re expected in the office, we’d suggest you book the full three weeks off. You’ll probably need it for clearing up. If you don’t have an understanding boss, simply set the venue on fire as you leave (yes, even if it’s your house) and turn up to work with the faint smell of woodsmoke and ale about you. Job done.

Don’t expect RSVPs

Just cater for a crowd. Expect folk to BYOB too. They’re Vikings, not heathens, after all. You can rely on no one turning up empty-handed. You probably can’t rely on them not drinking the place dry, however

With food, go big or go home

Forget previous beliefs about a nice ‘centrepiece’. Just slaughter every animal in sight and roast it or boil it, and stick it all out. Vikings don’t really do ‘amuse bouches’ so just sling it all on the table: stews, meats, platters of roasted veg, breads, cheeses etc… Think of it as a ‘sharing platter’ style… with little emphasis on the sharing and more on the ‘melee’ aspect.

What about tipples?

Think more ‘topple’ than ‘tipple’. You’ll be expected to serve meads, beers, ales and some fruit wines (for the ladies, perhaps). Don’t worry about glass hire. Flagons will suffice. The key with booze is quantity over quality. Be prepared for toasts. A LOT OF TOASTS.

But might my guests be doing Dry January?

No. No they won’t.

Should I consider a playlist?

A bit of Scandi Death Metal should do it. Your actual choices of artist, however, aren’t nearly as important as the ear-splitting volume at which music is delivered. Try our January Playlist if you’re stuck for ideas. And turn it up to 11.

After dinner games?

Put Trivial Pursuit away. You shall not be needing it. If you’re lucky your guests will settle for a nice game of Viking Chess or a ‘poetry-off’. But remember, it’s not about how you play the game, it’s about WINNING. If you’re unlucky, the games could be a little more, erm, brutal… One-on-one tug-of-wars known as ‘toga-honk’ are popular, as are weight-lifting, sword-fighting and even a rather jolly ‘swimming contest’ in which opponents are held underwater for as long possible. Festive!

Should I expect a thank-you note?

Thank yous are not generally directed to the host, more to the Gods. Have a few sacrifices on standby in case you have need of pleasing the Gods for fair weather or a good harvest, for example. A few birds and animals should do it and keep the chaps up there (or down below) happy.

In our January issue, we are celebrating Up Helly Aa, a Viking-style feast celebrated on the last Tuesday in January in Shetland We have an extract from Shetland: Cooking on the Edge of the World by James Morton of Bake Off fame and his father Tom (Quadrille), which includes a recipe for an Up Helly Aa Hangover Mulled Ale. The issue is in shops now.

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More from our January issue…

More Gathering inspiration for all year round…