Folklore | Guernsey Superstitions

Islands tend to be rich in folklore and perhaps nowhere more than Guernsey. Perhaps it’s due to being even more at the mercy of the weather and other elements than most of us… Maybe some of the stories were simply invented to discourage islanders from venturing to the caves and other spots where smugglers and pirates hung out. But they’re great tales either way. Here are a few of the superstitions and folktales that have shaped the island. 

1. Guernsey fishers believe it’s unlucky to say they’re ‘going fishing’ as the fish may hear. They say they’re ‘off out on the boat’ instead. 

2. Herbs are often believed to hold cures for all manner of ills but Guernsey gardeners believe their magic will only work if you swear as you plant the herbs. So much for gardening being good for your wellbeing.

3. Apparently if you walk around the fairy ring at Pleinmont three times and make a wish, it will come true. 

4. In the west of the island, many of the houses have seats outside for witches. They were built in times when witches were prolific on Guernsey, so locals built seats so they could stop and rest, rather than create more mayhem. 

5. Friday is believed to be an unlucky day, partly because Christ was crucified on a Friday and partly because that was the day the witches met. Superstitious Guernsey dwellers tend not to have a hair cut, use a new tool or try any new venture on a Friday. 

6. Sore throat sufferers wrap a worn sock around their necks as they sleep at night to cure it by morning.

7. Islanders ‘let the bees know’ of any big family news. Bees and their honey were much prized in the Guernsey countryside historicaly, with many having a hive in their gardens, and folk still ‘let the bees know’ of any big news today. 

8. Great attention is paid to the colour of flames inside the home. If the fire or a candle in a Guernsey home burns green rather than orange it’s said to be caused by the presence of evil. We’d argue it was caused by the presence of copper, but we’ll keep that to ourselves in case the witches hear.

If the superstitions above have inspired you to plan a trip or just learn more about this beautiful spot, don’t miss our ‘My Island’ feature in our May issue, in which Holly Farrell shows us around a few of her favourite island haunts, including the neolithic statue called ‘The Grandmother’ pictured above.

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How to | Brocante Successfully

Planning to hit the flea markets and vintage stalls this summer? We enjoyed a day trip to a French ‘brocante’ in our Home Tour pages in our May issue. If you’re inspired to try a bit of vintage market shopping yourself, here are a few tips to get you started, whether you’re mooching in Maroilles or pottering in Paignton

Be prepared

If you’re in France there’s a small book that you can get from a newsagent (tabac) which lists where all the local markets are, or see brocanciel.fr or brocabrac.fr. Wear comfy shoes, and bring a tape measure, bags and packaging to take any items home with you. In the UK try fleamapket.com.

Arrive early or late

The best items are often snapped up quickly, so arrive as sellers are unpacking to get the best finds – or at the end, as prices will drop because the sellers want to get rid of things. If something catches your eye, don’t hang around, items go quickly.

Don’t be afraid to dig

Check out the baskets and boxes alongside the stalls. This is where treasures are often found.

Take cash and negotiate gently

Make sure you’ve plenty of cash as many brocantes and flea markets are in the countryside with no cash machines or card purchases available. Always smile and ask a few questions about the item before negotiating. Only offer a little lower than what you would want to pay.

How to speak second-hand in France

Brocante: Open-air flea market or bricks-and-mortar antique shop Marché aux puces: Flea market Vide grenier: Loft clearances Foire à tout: Similar to a car boot sale Depôts vente: Buildings where second-hand goods are sold.

If the French country lifestyle appeals, don’t miss our feature The French Connection in our May issue, in which we meet Cathy and Peter Bullen and have a nose around their house and home town. The words are by Kay Prestney and photography by Brent Darby.

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Mini Adventures | The Night Sky

There’s all kinds of magic to be seen in the night sky. Here are a few mini adventures you can have among the stars… without even leaving home

Track the International Space Station

NASA has a handy map and tracker of the ISS to follow its course. It shows where the Space Station is right now, as well as its path 90 minutes previously and where it’ll be in 90 minutes’ time. spotthestation.nasa.gov/tracking_map.cfm

Watch bats

The Bat Conservation Trust is a wonderful organisation with lots of information about bats together with ways that you can support and see these amazing animals year-round. bats.org.uk

See meteors

The Orionid meteor shower is most intense on 21–22 Oct, though you may see it for a week either side of these dates. The meteors are tiny pieces of debris from Halley’s Comet burning up as they enter the Earth’s atmosphere at 41 miles per second.

The ideas above are taken from our feature ‘Overnight Delivery’ in which Dan Richards takes us on a night walk around Galloway. His book Overnight: Journeys, Conversations And Stories After Dark (Canongate Books) will be published in March 2025.

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Outings | Days out for You and Your Dog

Fancy a grand day out with your four-legged friend? Here are a few ideas that go beyond a simple ‘walkies’.

Park

Dogs that love to run but don’t have great recall will thrive in Wrenbury Hall’s enclosed woodland in Nantwich, Cheshire. Totally secure with fencing around 1.5 metres high, it’s a totally safe space to let your dog off-lead to explore on its own. unleashedwrenbury.co.uk

Cinema

Ducie Street Warehouse in Manchester is a brilliant dog-friendly dining and drinking space with its own pet-friendly cinema. Check the run-times to find out which screenings are letting dogs in, pick up your popcorn and head in to enjoy a dog-friendly film on the big screen. duciestreet.com. Curzon cinemas in London, Canterbury, Knutsford and Sheffield also run Dog Day Afternoons, where you can bring your pet. The volume is lower, and there are also treats for dogs (and people). curzon.com

Café

There are dog-friendly cafés, and then there’s Love My Human Townhouse in London. Less dog-friendly and more dog-first, this pet-obsessed café is built for dogs. Anything goes here, with dogs encouraged to sit at the tables and on sofas, plus a full dog menu, because surely your pet deserves a brunch of scrambled eggs or a hearty lunch of beef Wellington with pumpkin purée? lovemyhuman.co.uk

Sport

Dog Masters Festival, in Bournemouth, is all about four-legged surfers. The UK dog surfing championships is held every July on Branksome Dene Beach, a soft, yellow-sand stretch, and features live music, street food and, of course, surfing dogs. shakasurf.co.uk

Festival

If you can imagine Glastonbury, but instead of bands, it’s dog experts, and instead of people, it’s dogs, then you’re picturing DogFest, the UK’s biggest and most chaotic dog-friendly festival, held at various stately homes around the UK. This two-day extravaganza, features fun dog shows, an obedience ring, expert speakers and fun dog displays, plus interactive activities such as hay-bale racing and agility, and is a riot for humans and dogs alike. dogfest.co.uk

These ideas are taken from Dog Days Out: 365 Things To Do With Your Dog In The UK And Ireland by Lottie Gross (Conway). You can read a longer extract in our September issue.

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How To | Be More Adventurous

Feel like you spend too much time watching others being brave and not enough throwing yourself into life yourself? Here are a few ways to find your inner adventurer

Do what you love but be a little more adventurous
Think going from walking to climbing a mountain, swimming to wild swimming, camping to wild camping.

Have more fun
Enjoyment is not the same as fun. Do something a bit silly that makes you laugh. Jump off a rope swing into a lake. Ride a roller coaster. Make up a bed and sleep in your garden under the stars.

Feel the fear but don’t let it control you
Listen to it, thank it for alerting you to possible dangers and then tell it to move away so you can be in control of your life.

Enjoy the journey
Think about where you enjoy the process not just the outcome. Go for a hike in the woods or a bike ride, not for exercise but to bask in nature.

Find pockets of adventure
Rather than waiting until you have time for a weekend away, find something that fits into your evening or lunch break.

Watch and read about adventure
When we hear of others that inspire us, we start to expand on what we believe is possible.

Listen to what’s whispering to you
Do you drool over travel or adventure programmes, lust after campervans or think fondly of horse riding or sailing boat memories? Act on these desires and impulses rather than finding reasons not to do things.

The ideas above are from our feature ‘Brave New World’ by Rebecca Frank from our August issue. Read more about how to be brave starting from page 20 and be inspired by reading Achievable Adventures by Charlie Wild and Jessica Last (Quadrille, £18)

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Adventures | Stay in a Bothy

Don’t get in a bothy bother. Here’s all you need to know about staying in a simple shelter

Bothies are simple shelters, scattered across Scotland, Wales and Northern England. They often amount to little more than four walls and a roof, usually with a fire or stove and sometimes a platform on which to sleep. They were originally built for workers on estates - shepherds, farmers, gamekeepers and the like. As they weren’t originally designed to house groups of hikers, respecting the Bothy Code will help everything go smoothly. But if you’ve never stayed in a bothy before, here are a few questions you might want answered.

What do I need to take to a bothy?

Pack as though you’re camping, just without the tent. Or sometimes the toilet block. Don’t forget matches and fuel for the fire or rubbish bags so you can take everything away and leave it exactly as you left it. Drinking water and food will be needed and a camping stove if you want to cook.

What? No loo?

Nope. Usually no loo. This is a ‘long walk with a spade’ situation. If you don’t like the thought of spiky leaves, bring your own (biodegradable) loo roll. Okay, okay, some bothies do have a squat toilet available, but only the ‘five star’ ones. 

What about sleeping arrangements?

Some bothies have a sleeping platform but it really will just be a slab of wood each so bring sleeping bag, camping mat etc and a pillow if you want one. 

What if it’s occupied when I arrive?

Then you’re about to make a new friend! You can’t ‘book’ a bothy so if you turn up and there’s someone already in residence you’ll have to cosy up or move on. It’s not really a case of first-come-first-served either; if an extra person turns up the expectation is that you will make room for them (and hopefully make them a brew, too). The Bothy Code asks guests to stay no longer than two nights maximum and each bothy may have its own rules about size of group and length of stay so check that first. Groups of more than five usually need permission. If the bothy really is packed to the rafters, it’s handy to have a pop-up tent with you so you can camp just outside for the night and hope someone moves on in the morning. 

Is it ok to leave things behind?

Thoughts differ, but useful things like tinned food, matches, loo roll and the like are usually welcomed. Fresh food or anything that rodents might eat, such as rice or dried pasta less so. Rubbish, absolutely not. 

If you’d like to learn more about bothies, you might like to read The Enduring Appeal of Simple Shelters in our June issue.

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Outing | Visit a Glasshouse

If you’re hankering to get out for a bit of lush greenery and a good blast of warm air, get thee to a glasshouse.

Glasshouses arrived in the 16th and 17th centuries as explorers began to bring back tropical plants. Of course, it was the Victorians who brought them to the middle-class masses, with their distinctive architecture, which you can still admire today in the palm houses of botanic gardens such as Kew and Belfast.

Dress for the environment with layers you can remove in the heat and take a bottle of water, too. If you want to make a day of it, modern versions, like the Eden Project, let you lose yourself in steamy walkways for hours. Smaller ones, like Sheffield’s Winter Garden, allow you to pop in from the grey February streets for a blast of tropical warmth.

You might see bananas, bromeliads and palms. Darwin’s Down House in Kent is home to a magnificent collection of carnivorous Sundews. Maybe you’ll be inspired to build your own small glasshouse or tiny terrarium when you get home.

This outing idea is taken from our February Almanac pages where we offer ideas for things to note and notice, plan and do each month.

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Plan | A 'Grand Tour'

In the spirit of rich young men (and occasionally women) of centuries gone by, why not spend a winter’s afternoon planning a route for a Grand Tour of Europe? 

Whether it’s simply an idle but enjoyable dream or the first step to making a European trip a reality, planning a big adventure is always time well spent. These days, it’s surprisingly easy to flit from one European city to the next and see a huge amount in just a week or two. Back in the days of Grand Tours it would have been the trip of a lifetime; something that would finish your education and perhaps inform a career. Or a life’s work if you were Canaletto. 

In our February issue, we found out just how easy it is to travel Europe by rail, and, in the spirit of the Grand Tour, we’ve taken it as inspiration for a more modern way to travel, with a contemporary Grand Tour Itinerary. But first, what was the Grand Tour, exactly? 

A rite of passage for many aristocratic young things from the 16th to the 19th centuries, a ‘Grand Tour’ was a way of exploring the art and culture of Europe. The idea was to come home well rounded, better educated and with an intriguing sense of culture about you, having picked up a few charming European habits, which you would crowbar into conversation wherever possible… ‘Ah yes, I started drinking espresso while I was in Venice, actually’... 

Usually, leaving from Dover, often with a tutor (and servants to carry your luggage if you were fortunate), you would first travel to France, taking in Calais and Paris, before moving on through Switzerland. Having crossed the Alps, much of your ‘tour’ would have been spent in Italian cities such as Turin, Florence, Rome, Pompeii and Venice. Usually one would return home through German cities, then Austria (of course stopping at Vienna) and through Flanders and Holland before crossing the sea back to England. 

With the advent of interrailing, the internet and underwear that can be hand washed in a basin and dries within hours, you can spread your wings a little further, of course. Here’s our suggested itinerary for a 2024 Grand Tour via Inter Rail. 

A Modern Grand Tour

There are endless itineraries you could use, but if time and money were no object, this would be our contemporary Grand Tour, taking in some traditional stops and many new ones that we don’t think any European Tour should be complete without. 

1. London

2. Paris

3. Barcelona

4. Nice

5. Monaco

6. Rome

7. Florence

8. Venice

9. Ljubljana

10. Salzburg

11. Budapest

12. Prague

13. Berlin

14. Hamburg

15. Malmo

16. Aarhus

17. Amsterdam

18. London

You could do just three countries at a time for a slower pace, or you can plan your very own itinerary on the Inter Rail website. Now all you have to do is find a tutor and some staff to follow you about carrying your luggage. Bon voyage!

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Outing | Railway Rambles

Old railway lines are accessible, easy to follow and a pleasure to roam

The UK has more than 4,000 miles of ex railway lines, criss-crossing the country, that are there to be used by walkers. Most came about as a result of the Beeching Report in 1963, which closed down swathes of the rail network. Many of the routes eventually were reclaimed for public use by walkers and cyclists and remain so to this day. 

Railway routes are wonderful for walking on. They’re largely straight, often smooth and raised up a little, so they drain well, meaning no muddy boots. Because they’re such easy terrain, they’re accessible to all, regardless of age or ability. They’re also easy to navigate and hard to get lost on so you don’t even need to take a map. Next time you’re thinking of a good walk, maybe consider a railway ramble instead. Here are a few spots around the country where you can do just that. 

The Camel Trail, Cornwall

This railway once ran between Padstow and Wendfordbridge along the Camel Estuary and was used to transport sand from the estuary to inland farms. It’s great for bird watchers and passes through beautiful countryside. Poet John Betjeman called it “the most beautiful railway journey I know” and it’s still pretty lovely today. 

Parkland Walk, London

This path was once the Finsbury Park to Alexandra Palace rail route and passes through the former Crouch End station (pictured above). It has wonderful views over London from the top of the hill at Ally Pally. 

The Mawddach Trail, Wales

Following the southern edge of the Mawddach estuary, this route runs from Barmouth to Dolgellau through Snowdonia National Park. One of the most accessible railway rambles, it’s largely wheelchair friendly - you can also hire a ‘tramper’ - and the North Wales Society for the Blind has produced a free audio guide to download that accompanies the trail. 

Innocent Railway Path, Scotland

Running from Newington, under Holyrood Park out to Brunstane. A highlight of the path is the 517 metre Innocent Tunnel, one of the UK’s oldest railway tunnels and pleasingly eerie!

Monsal Trail, The Peak District

One of the newer railway walks, this stretch from Buxton to Bakewell was only rescued in 1981 and some of the amazing 400-metre tunnels have only been reopened in the last decades, so there’s novelty factor to this stretch of railway. It also has some amazing views to enjoy. Don’t miss the cafe in the old station ticket office at Millers Dale.

Find more railway routes to walk on the OS website.

The picture above is of the abandoned platform along Parkland Walk in London. It’s part of our feature all about nature reserves in the May issue of The Simple Things, which is on sale now. 
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Cooking | Meals for a One-Ring Burner

Whether you’re camping or caravanning, meals you can make in one pan on a one-burner ring are always a winner… Or make them just for fun at home!

We’ve collated our six favourite meals for cooking on a one-ring burner. (On the seventh night, we think you should head to the pub or get fish and chips). Crack out the Travel Scrabble and gather round the teeny kitchen (or the open fire) and cook up a tiny storm!

One-pan Full English

As good at breakfast as it is for lunch or dinner, here’s how to do a cooked breakfast with just one thing to wash up. 

• Heat the pan high and fry chiplota sausages for around three minutes. 

• Add bacon, turning repeatedly until in goes crispy

• Add chopped mushrooms and cook until soft

• Drain any fat and liquid off, then spread the ingredients out evenly across the pan’s surface

• Beat some eggs and add to the pan to create a breakfast omelette. Cook for two minutes on a low to medium heat

• Scatter over tomatoes and cheese if liked and continue to cook until melted

• Serve in wedges once fully cooked

Chilaquiles

A holiday twist on nachos. We’re not saying this meal includes all the major food groups (other than crisps) but it is warming, filling and delicious!

• Heat oil high in a pan or skillet and then fry tortilla chips in single layers, draining each layer on kitchen towel as you go

• Reduce heat and gently fry some chopped red onion until softened and add some chopped garlic for the last half a minute

• Tip in some passata or tinned tomatoes and reduce. Once reduced and simmering, put the fried tortilla chips back in and stir to coat them

• Create a well in the middle and drop a few eggs into the sauce, cooking them through gently

• Top with chopped herbs, spring onions, grated cheese and whatever else you fancy

One-pot Orzo with veggies

A clever pasta dish, in which the water boils the pasta and the veggies together and then disappears like magic!

• Prep your veg. Anything that cooks in less than 10 minutes, like the orzo, is good… Asparagus, peas, broccoli and the like

• Put the veg with the orzo, enough water to cover it, a tablespoon of oil and any spices you like to your cooking vessel and bring to a low boil

• Once boiling, cook for a further five minutes until orzo and veggies are tender

• Reduce heat and add grated cheese, and any of the following you fancy: pine nuts, olives, sundried tomatoes, other deli veg

Chick pea and Chorizo Stew

Hearty, warming and pleasingly simple, this stew is great served with crusty bread or any other carb you fancy it with. 

• Heat a little olive oil in a large pan and then fry a chopped onion until it softens. Add chopped carrot, celery and herbs such as thyme and bay leaves. Continue to cook for around three minutes, stirring to prevent the veg sticking

• Add chopped garlic, chorizo and paprika and continue to fry with the veg for a few minutes

• Add a can of chick peas and a can of tomatoes and cook down

• Add a couple of handfuls of spinach and let wilt

• Remove from heat, season and serve with bread

Bubble and squeak

An oldie but classic. Another recipe that works for any meal from breakfast to supper - and it helps you get your greens in, too.

• In your pot, layer a chopped whole cabbage, five medium chopped potatoes and chopped Polish sausage or hot dogs from a jar

• Add a cup of water and simmer for 20 mins

• Once water is all soaked up and veg are tender, serve up

Black bean burgers

You can customise these burgers to your own tastes with many additions. Serve in big burger baps with ketchup. 

• Mash a tin of drained, rinsed black beans

• Mix in a tablespoon of ketchup and the same of mustard if desired along with a third of a cup of instant oats

• Throw in any extras for customisation - chopped onions, leftover diced veg, grated Cheddar etc

• Form the mix into patties, heat a little oil in the pan and then fry on each side until nice and crispy

• Serve in buns with plenty of sauce

If you think the caravanning life might be for you, don’t miss our Home Tour feature in our August issue, which features this beautiful van (above) in Sardinia, as well another retro van on the Kent coast.
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Simple Things Tour | Oxford in Books

Follow in the steps of Lyra, Alice and Morse with a bookish outing around the dreaming spires of Oxford 

You could happily wander without aim around Oxford for an entire weekend, but if you would prefer a stroll with purpose, there are lots of places with literary connections to stop and stare at. We’ve put together a Simple Things literary outing to Oxford for you,  with suggestions for bookish sights to see and fictional food and literary lunches to fuel you along the way. 

1. Christchurch College, Cathedral Garden
   Our tour begins in the south east corner of the city centre with an entry to the wonders of Oxford. On the wall between the gardens and the deanery is a very special gate, said to have inspired Alice’s door into Wonderland from the bottom of the rabbit hole. It’s said the ‘real’ Alice (Liddell) who lived at the deanery when her father was the Dean of the college, used to watch her father rush through the gate on his way to Cathedral services - always late, just like the White Rabbit. Only the Dean could cross the garden so Alice was only ever able to catch glimpses of it through the gate… 

2. Christ Church Dining Room
   While you’re at Christ Church, do join a tour so you can poke your head round the door of the dining room and see the dining hall which is said to have inspired The Great Hall of Hogwarts in JK Rowling’s Harry Potter series. 

3. The Botanic Gardens
   Just beyond the cathedral, are the peaceful Botanic Gardens. Take a bottle of Cointreau (or perhaps a coffee if it’s a little early still) and channel your inner Sebastian Flyte from Brideshead Revisited. Then make your way to the lower garden where you will find in one corner, the bench where Will and Lyra from Phillip Pullman’s His Dark Materials trilogy agree to meet each year. It’s charmingly covered in ‘Will and Lyra’ graffiti now and a beautiful spot to rest a while. 

4. Merton College gardens
   Just around the corner at Merton College is an old hexagonal stone table where JRR Tolkien is said to have mapped out many of his story ideas. Take a good look round for hobbits, before you leave and walk up Logic Lane. 

5. New College Lane
   At the top of Logic Lane, cross the high street and then walk up Queen’s Lane to New College Lane, where Dorothy L Sayers’ novel Gaudy Night ends. Here, Sayer’s crime writer character, Harriet Vane finally accepted Lord Peter Wimsey’s marriage proposal.

6. The Ashmolean Museum
   Make your way past the Bodleian Library to the Ashmolean Museum where you can see the Oxford Dodo, stepped right out of Wonderland. The Ashmolean is also home to the gold posy rings that served as the inspiration for Tolkien’s One Ring in The Lord of the Rings. 

7. The Morse Bar
   If all that museum wandering has left you with a thirst, fear not. It’s time for a real ale or two. Just around the corner is the wooden panelled Morse Bar at the Randolph Hotel, where Morse’s creator, Colin Dexter, is said to have written several of the books about everyone’s favourite Oxford detective. 

8. The Covered Market
   After that ale, you should have worked up an appetite, so head south again past St Peter’s College to The Covered Market, where you might well spot Lyra, in an alternative Oxford, darting among the stalls and shops. We think if she were here today, Lyra would enjoy a Mediterranean lunch in the bohemian Georgina’s, perhaps washed down with a colourful milkshake at Moo Moo’s. 

9. Exeter College
   Close by Lyra’s covered market is Exeter College, which Pullman based Lyra’s home, Jordan College, on. Pop your head into the courtyard and see if you can spot Lyra’s attic window she climbs out of onto the rooves.

10. Lincoln College
    Leave Exeter and walk past Jesus college, which was once home to the author William Boyd, and make your way south to Lincoln College, where John Le Carre studied. Some of his later novels, such as Our Kind of Traitor, were based on his time at Oxford as an undergraduate. 

11. St Mary’s Passage
    Head down Brasenose Lane and turn right in front of the Radcliffe Camera library. Down here, you’ll find St Mary’s Passage, and opposite the entrance to the University Church of St Mary the Virgin, you will find the Narnia Door, heavily etched and with a lion’s face in its centre. It’s apparently the inspiration behind CS Lewis’s wardrobe door into Narnia. 

We’ll leave you here. Don’t go accepting any Turkish Delight from ornately dressed, strange women, now…

Our tour of Oxford was inspired by our Weekend Away feature in our March issue, in which Lindsey Harrad stayed at Keble College. You can read all about it from page 114.

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How to | Go (Almost) Wild Camping

Live a simpler life, closer to nature, even if it’s just for a night or two

If you fancy the idea of the simplest of existences for a week, sleeping under the stars and living entirely out in nature (but perhaps aren’t quite ready to forego a shower and running water yet) you might like to try Almost Wild camping.

In our April issue, James Warner Smith told us where to find some of the UK’s best almost wild camping spots. You can read all about them from page 18. Here are some of his tips for getting started if you’re feeling wild (but not THAT wild).

*Check the facilities Availability of toilets, showers and washing-up areas may vary so check before you book and you’ll know what to expect.

* Stock up Few campsites will have an onsite shop, or it may be very basic. Find the location of the nearest shops before you travel and bring adequate supplies, just in case.

* Cut the clutter Try not to pack the kitchen sink. Aim for being able to fit everything you need into a wheelbarrow (often provided) as you can rarely park by your pitch.

* Book early For the best spots, plan ahead and book early, especially in (this) summer. Check if children and dogs are allowed, too.

* The right pitch Practise putting up your tent at home and check you have all the necessary parts.

* Cook out Most sites let you have a campfire, which goes against the grain of the ‘Leave No Trace’ ethos of genuine wild camping. Ditch the camping stove and get creative.

* Slow down Switch off your phone, embrace the slower pace of life and just take time to enjoy where you are.

Almost Wild Camping: 50 British Campsites on the Wilder Side by James Warner Smith (Punk Publishing)

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Fun facts | British Motorways

Surprise and delight your fellow passengers with these fast motorway facts

We’re all so excited to be planning and enjoying a few jaunts further afield now. In celebration of that we’ve put together a Pocket Guide to Pit Stops of places to stop, eat and enjoy just off the motorway around Britain. You can find it in the April issue with instructions on how to cut it out and fold it into your very own pocket guide to pop in your glove box. 

While you wait for your copy to arrive so you can plan your next sojourn, we’ve put together a few fascinating* facts about British motorways for you to share with your fellow passengers on the journey. Strap in! This could be a bumpy ride!

* The Simple Things can take no responsibility for what you or the next woman considers to be fascinating. We’ve led a sheltered life for the last year. 

• The first full-length motorway was the M1 but if we’re splitting hairs the first ‘stretch’ of motorway was in fact the Preston Bypass (now part of the M6), which was opened by Harol Macmillan in 1958. It was just eight and a quarter miles long. 

• The first motorway service station, meanwhile was Watford Gap, built on the M1 just a year after it opened. 

• Britain’s widest stretch of motorway is 17 lanes wide (both sides of the carriageway) and is found on the M61 at Linnyshaw Moss in Greater Manchester where the motorway meets the M60 and the A580. 

• The most haunted motorway in Britain is the M6, with sightings of Roman soldiers and a woman screaming at the side of the road. (Perhaps she’d seen the price of the service station coffee). 

• The longest motorway in Britain is the M6 (236 miles long), which runs from Catthorpe in Leicestershire up to the Scottish border, while the shortest is thought to be the A635M in Manchester at just under half a mile. 

• Rumours tell that there are dead bodies from gangland killings hidden in the concrete and cement that was used to make the M25. 

• On a more pleasant note, the M25 is also the only motorway we know of that has a cricket pitch on it. Well, ok, above it. There’s a cricket square on the Bell Common tunnel which the M25 passes under between Junctions 26 and 27. 

• The M1 has no junction 3. When it was built they planned to add in Junction 3 at a later date once the link road to the A1 was built. But the link road was cancelled so the junction was never built and a service station now sits where it would have been. 

• When the M25 first opened it had no speed restrictions. We assume they foresaw a time when speed restrictions on Britain’s busiest motorway would be pointless since it was at a standstill much of the time anyway.
  

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More from our May issue…

More fun for the journey…

New hobby | Plein Air Sketching

Make a walk an event by sitting down to sketch the landscape for a short while

There aren’t many things that don’t feel just a bit more ‘alive’ for being practised outdoors; eating alfresco is so much more than just supper, sleeping under the stars turns a daily fact of life into something magic… And art? Well, painting a landscape, live, out in the fresh air, is like the difference between watching a BBC schools TV film of Julius Caesar and being in the Globe watching the RSC perform it live. 

‘Plein Air’ painting, the act of painting a landscape like a sitting portrait, with the artist able to better capture the changing light, weather and atmosphere, began in the 1800s, pioneered by Constable, whose painting, Boatbuilding, Near Flatford Mill was conceived and painted entirely outdoors. The catalyst, lovely though the great outdoors is, was the rather more prosaic fact of tubes of oil paints suddenly becoming available. Paints had previously needed to be mixed from raw pigments which did not lend themselves to being thrown into a bag for an impromptu day’s painting out in the fields. A few tubes fitted nicely into your artist’s knapsack alongside a Thermos and a cheese sandwich. 

The Plein Air movement soon spread to the continent, its high point coming with Impressionist landscapes; think the likes of Monet, Renoir and Pissaro with their dappled light and soft, outdoorsy colours. 

Perhaps it’s the fresh air going to our heads, but we think we might just be inspired enough to give plein air a go ourselves now the weather’s warming up. How hard can a few water lilies be to paint anyway? If you fancy trying it too, here are a few tips to get you started.

1. Put together a bit of a kit. You don’t need a full-on pochade box, though. In fact, it’s best if you travel fairly light. Just a modest art kit (more on that below), something to keep warm if you’re sitting still for long periods, a hat if it’s sunny (or chilly), and we recommend a flask of tea and a generous slice of cake. Art is not fuelled on inspiration alone, you know. 

2. If you’re painting you just need something to paint on (paper, card, a sketchbook or canvas), a couple of brushes of different sizes, something to put water in and a cloth to wipe your brushes. Watercolours travel more easily than oils but don’t be put off oils or gouache if that’s what you prefer. You don’t need to take them all either; just consider your location, and pick out a few tubes of paint to match the colouring of the scenery.  Plein Air fans often say they prefer to use ‘found’ water for rinsing brushes than taking their own. There’s definitely something charming about using water taken from the sea to paint your beach scene, or even just asking the cafe that features in your scene for a glass of water to paint with.

3. Of course, sketching with coloured pencils or charcoals is lots of fun, too. We think if Monet had had the wealth of colours offered in a Faber Castell kit, he’d have given it a go, too. 

4. Choose a location that inspires you. It doesn’t have to be a pastoral idyll; just somewhere that ‘speaks’ to you. It also needs to be somewhere you can easily sit undisturbed (so if the roundabout at Elephant and Castle speaks to you maybe think again). You also need somewhere comfy enough to sit, whether that’s a grassy hillock or a camping chair on a street corner. 

5. Take a photo of the scene you’re painting just for reference later on. It’s very satisfying once you start to get a little bit good.

6. Before you start, do a quick sketch of the scene you want to recreate; what plein air artists call a ‘thumbnail sketch’. It just gives you an idea of composition and what’s going where. Try to pick just one or two elements to focus on in the picture.

7. Once you’re painting or drawing, your watchword is ‘speed’. That might seem to go against the whole ethos of the thing, but you’ll be surprised how quickly the light changes. If painting, use a broad brush and just block in colour. You can add more detail and colour on top later, but you need to get the basics in first so the light doesn’t change the colours and where shadows fall too much while you’re working. 

8. Be prepared to chat to passers by and show off your work (or adopt the look of a serious artist who must not be disturbed by trivialities and wear obvious headphones). 

The photograph above is by Dr Ali Foxon, who we spoke to in our April issue for our ‘Walking with Purpose’ feature. Ali runs boggydoodles.com which organises green sketching events for groups. Turn to page 44 to meet Ali and more people who have added ‘purpose’ to their walks in different ways. 

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More from our April issue…

More artistic inspiration…

You know spring has properly arrived when...

Daylight wakes you up in the morning

You leave the back door open

Soups and stews make way for salads

Your phone is full of pictures of blossom and spring flowers

Your book takes a little longer to read

You’re making detailed plans for your garden

You leave the house without a coat

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From our March issue:

More outdoor inspiration:

Job Vacancy | Lighthouse Keeper

Fancy a career change and something a little different? Apply within…

Do you have what it takes to keep Simple Things Lighthouse ship hape and Bristol fashion and ensure all ships pass safely around the rocks beneath? If think you fit the person spec below, drop us a line via seagull. 

Position: Lighthouse Keeper

Skills required: 

High level of fitness (the commute involves a lot of stairs).

Exceptional eyesight.

A head for heights.

Top notch organisational skills and a tidy mind.

Resourcefulness (particularly with reference to food preparation as deliveries can be sparse).

Experience of exterior decorating (on a large scale) would be helpful.

Must be able to confidently change a lightbulb.

Personality:

Must be capable of working independently.

An enjoyment of one’s own company would be an advantage. 

Happy to use one’s own initiative. 

Able to find the joy in solitude. 

An appreciation of seagulls would be an advantage.

And did we mention the solitude? 

Experience:

It’s probably best if you don’t have too much life experience; you’ll only miss it. 

Applicants who self-isolated for long periods during lockdown are encouraged to apply. 

In return, we can offer a fabulous coastal location, excellent views and plenty of opportunity for self-improvement (with the emphasis on ‘self’). Plenty of time off during daylight hours. While you will be required to work all night shifts, you will have the opportunity to read for pleasure while working the light - just one line at a time. 

As you may have noticed, we got just a little overexcited by our ‘Outing’ feature on lighthouses in our March issue. It’s a ripping read, whether you’re a fan of lighthouses, or are yet to discover their charms.

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More from our March issue…

More ideas for outings…

Wild camping | bedzones

Sailors, mountaineers, hikers, cyclists, canoeists and pilgrims have been wild camping for centuries . These are the four traditional ‘bedzones’ used by wild campers…

WILD ZONE Aka Scotland – from Cape Wrath to Gretna, every loch, trail and beach, the lowlands, the peaks and what’s left of the forest. Freedom to sleep and wild camp was restored as a right in 2003 under the Land Reform Act.

FORESHORE ZONE The coast is possibly the most important common ground in Britain and Ireland. Our law has enshrined the right to fish, dig bait and navigate, without having to pay. This means that while the tide is out, it’s perfectly reasonable to camp, eat, light a fire and rest on the foreshore (the area below the high-tide mark).

MIDDLE EARTH The area between the foreshore and the mountains – where we all, pretty much, live. It’s wrong to say camping here is illegal. It’s like saying it’s illegal to sit down at a table in a restaurant without asking. It’s not, but just polite to ask first.

MOUNTAIN ZONE Mountaineers and ramblers have been enjoying free sleep in the hills for ever. Today, there’s still no one up there collecting pitch fees. Many landowners consider the minimum necessary height for wild camping to be 450m – and hundreds of hills within the UK fall into that category.

If you fancy a bit of wild camping yourself, turn to page 21 of our August issue, where Stepehn Neale, author of Wild Camping: Exploring and Sleeping in the Wilds of the UK and Ireland (below) tells us how to wild camp safely and considerately.

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Wild Camping Book Reader Offer

To order at a discount of 20%, go to bloomsbury.com and use the code SIMPLE20 before 27 August. 



More from our August issue…

More camping inspiration…

Good stops just off the motorway

Because there’s always treasure where you least expect it…

If you’re planning a bank holiday getaway or a longer UK staycation this summer, you probably haven’t yet given your route there much thought. Travelling long-distance by car is simple but tedious and most of us just hit the motorway crossing our fingers it’s not at too much of a standstill. 

And when it comes to comfort breaks and lunch stops, well, a curly sandwich at a sterile table (if you’re lucky) on the side of the road is often as good as it gets. 

But with a little planning and research, you might just find there are some real gems only a stones throw from the motorway junctions.

There are places like Tebay services - the first family run motorway service station, which was set up by Cumbrian Hill farmers John and Barbara Dunning when the M6 was built through their land. With farm shops, a butchery and cafe serving only local food, it’s as far from a normal service station as you can imagine and has become a destination in its own right. Then there are the plethora of National Trust properties just minutes away from motorway junctions where you can immerse yourself in history, stretch your legs and have a proper scone and a decent cup of tea - and all without a Burger King in sight. But beyond that, every stretch of Britain’s major roads have near them somewhere a lovely lake, a peaceful copse with picnic benches or a great view from a hill. You just need to know someone in the know.

So we’ve had another of our brilliant ideas. We’d like Simple Things readers to pool their knowledge on all those wonderful, secret places just off the motorway and we’ll collate them and make them into a booklet for a future issue. We’re hoping it will be a little gem you’ll keep in your glove box with the boiled sweets and road atlas so that next time you find yourself contemplating a curly sandwich and a raft of fruit machines you can take a different turn off and make a real moment of your comfort and lunch break. 

Leave your votes for your ‘spot just off the motorway’ in the comments on our blog or on our posts on Facebook and Instagram and we’ll do the rest. 

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From our February issue…

More places to go and things to see on the way…

Words | backronyms and snackronyms

Some word-related fun to take with you on a winter walk..

A trail mix is comfort food at its most smug, and we’re right behind that. While you’re popping delicious gem-sized pieces of colourful dried fruits and nuts into your mouth (and maybe some chocolate in there, too) you can also feel the glow of fuelling your body with something healthy and homemade. 

There’s something about the words ‘trail mix’ that make you feel like you could face anything on a winter walk. Doesn’t the idea of being on a ‘trail’ rather than just a bit of a ramble make you feel like you are striding out with purpose? 

While we were putting together our On The Trail feature for our January issue, we discovered, to our delight, that there are several other even better names for trail mix. 

In North America, trail mix is often known as ‘gorp’, probably derived from the early 20th century term ‘to gorp’ or ‘to eat greedily’. Since then, however, gorp has become an acronym for Good Old Raisins and Peanuts or sometimes, more specifically, Granola, Oats, Raisins, Peanuts. It’s what’s known as a ‘backronym’: an acronym that was created to fit a word after the event, rather than a word that was created as an acronym. 

In Australia, trail mix is known as ‘scroggin’, a 1940s word which later came to stand for Sultanas, Chocolate, Raisins, Orange peel, Ginger, Glucose (sugar), Imagination (whatever you like), Nuts. Others, insist it stands for Sultanas, Chocolate, Raisins, Other Good thinGs Including Nuts.

Next time we head out on a winter walk we are definitely going to be making some of the trail mix recipes featured in our January issue and pictured above. Trail Mix is a very fine snack - Something Nice And Comforting (from the) Kitchen.

The trail mix recipes and warming soups for a winter walk featured in our January issue were taken from Delicious Wintertime: The Cookbook for Cold Weather Adventures by Markus Sӓmmer (Gestalten).

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More from our January issue…

More wonderful walks…

Workshop | make your own Christmas hamper

By Rebecca Frank

As thoughts inevitably turn to Christmas, why not swap the shops for the kitchen and have a go at making your own festive foodie gifts. Rebecca Frank visited River Cottage to do just that

 While Christmas shopping tends to make you tired and stressed, spending a day in the kitchen creating brightly coloured bottles and boxes bursting with delicious festive flavours whilst ticking names off your present list has the exact opposite effect. This I discovered on a cold and wet November day when I joined the Christmas Hampers workshop at the River Cottage in Devon. While the rain came down outside my fellow cooks and I boiled beetroot, apple and tomatoes with wintry spices to create a bottle of deep red St Nicholas Ketchup and combined Bramley apples and lemons with eggs and cloves to make two jars of Hugh’s delicious winter lemon curd. A chocolate salami followed, which course leader Lucy Brazier described as the ideal no-cook recipe for when you’re ‘sick of pudding and sick of cooking’. Packed with nuts and sour cherries and a couple of teaspoons of alcohol (we used locally made cider brandy) all of our sausage shaped creations looked different but equally impressive.

As we all know, cooking can build up quite an appetite but there’s no fear of going hungry here with regular breaks for tea and homemade spelt digestives and a hearty lunch served in the farmhouse in front of the log fire. While feasting enthusiastically on winter salads and tender meats we shared stories of our Christmases and cooking successes and disasters. It was soon back to the kitchen as we had a long list of goodies to get through including piccalilli, roasted nuts and seeds with Twelfth Night seasoning, quince vinegar and a batch of those yummy spelt digestives.  Lucy made it all feel very achievable for a bunch of amateur cooks with her lively demonstrations and useful tips and hints. While we cooked at our individual stations, she wandered around answering questions and rescuing the odd mishap with a smile.

 At the end of the day we were given wooden boxes and Christmassy accessories with which to decorate our hampers while Lucy poured us all a glass of quince, bay and ginger ratafia and laid out a fabulous cheese board for us to feast on as we worked. I came away with heaps more confidence and ideas for making edible gifts but also general cooking tips I will definitely be putting to use in the kitchen over Christmas. I wasn’t surprised to find most people on the course had been on a River Cottage workshop before as I definitely hope to return soon. If you can’t make it down this year, perhaps you could slip a cooking course onto your Christmas wish-list..?

The next Christmas Hamper course is on 21 November and costs £195 for the day including lunch (9.30-5pm).  Visit rivercottage.net to find out more.