Christmas | What Does Your Nativity Role Say About You?

Photograpy: Getty

:Did you play Mary? Do you work in retail now? No? Hang on… our Nativity Career Predictor is on the blink again… 

Forget psychometric testing, your career prospects are apparently all mapped out according to the part you played in your school nativity play. This is according to a study by (rather appropriately) Virgin Money back in 2019, which looked at the earnings of 2,000 people against which parts they had in their nativities as children. Marys were most likely to work in Retail, Angel Gabriels in Healthcare… But a happy work life isn’t all about salary is it? We’ve analysed the information from the Virgin survey and have put it through our Simple Things Nativity Part Career Predictor. 

Have a go yourself and see if we got you right, or maybe you’ll find inspiration for a whole new career path ahead! Find the part you played in your nativity play below and see what your career holds! NB If you’re already a shepherd or own an inn, you can probably skip this. . 

Mary

Meek and mild, and usually draped in blue robes, Mary may be the most sought-after nativity role, but rarely has many lines. Like we say, meek and mild were her watchwords. Having given her husband-to-be the shocking news that they’re expecting a baby, her main part in proceedings is to sit on a donkey and then look benign, having delivered a Tiny Tears doll. But Mary has an inner strength, and a quiet reverence that would be an asset in many a career. 

The survey said: Marys are most likely to work in retail and earn on average £39,000 per annum. 

Our Nativity Part Career Predictor said: Marys might have a career in midwifery. We never see much obstetric help happening on stage, so we can only assume stoic Mary gets on with it alone. But children playing Mary also tend to be confident in the limelight as well as well-behaved. No nursery teacher would hand that kind of responsibility to any child likely to pick their nose on stage or use their 15 minutes of fame for nefarious purposes. If you were a Mary we can see you as perhaps heading up a green or ethical organisation; somewhere where you can use your stage presence to do good. 

Angel Gabriel

The Angel is another popular part, even though his time on stage is actually fairly short. You get some of the classic lines though: “Be not afraid!” etc. And you probably got a fancy pair of wings and a lovely foil halo too. 

The survey said: Angels are most likely to work in marketing and communications and earn on average £40,000 per annum. 

Our Nativity Part Career Predictor said: If you played the Angel Gabriel you probably were indeed a great communicator, with a LOUD voice and a love of shiny things. They don’t get shrinking violets to play the Angel of the Lord, after all. We think you might have made a career for yourself in the theatre, or perhaps as an auctioneer. We hope you’re still bringing glad tidings of great joy one way or another.

Inn Keeper

A small but vital part in the proceedings. For without the Inn Keeper there would have been no stable. Nativity Inn Keepers tend to have a bit of a twinkle in their eye. Which of us has not held our breath as the Inn Keeper is asked if there is room at the inn, and half hoped they might go off at a tangent and offer a honeymoon suite, after all? 

The survey said: Inn Keepers are most likely to be manual labourers and earn on average £37,000 a year. 

Our Nativity Part Career Predictor said: Hospitality is definitely a career path for Inn Keepers, but also in a wider sense; Inn Keepers like to be helpful and kind, and find solutions to problems. Perhaps a troubleshooter or project manager of some sort would suit you? Otherwise work within a charity or organisation such as Citizens’ Advice, where you’re able to use your knowledge and problem-solving skills to help others find their best paths.  

Shepherd

If you managed to navigate a crook and an oversized dressing gown on a rickety stage, you’re probably a fairly robust sort of person (when you’re not being sore afraid). 

The survey said: Shepherds are most likely to work in IT and earn on average £29,000 a year.

Our Nativity Part Career Predictor said: Careers in animal husbandry aside, those who play shepherds, patiently watching over their flocks and following the star to the stable, uncomplainingly carrying lambs, have lots of transferable skills; they might make good educationalists or be happy working in social care. 

Narrator

If you were chosen to be the narrator, you were truly the golden child at your school. Narrators carry a huge weight of responsibility, and must be clearly spoken, charming, well-presented and confident, as well as having a good memory for lines. 

The survey said: Narrators are most likely to work in education and earn on average £24,000 a year. 

Our Nativity Part Career Predictor said: Narrators are the true star of the show and if that was your Nativity role, you’re probably confident, charismatic and a born leader. You might make a great CEO or find a role in entertainment. Whatever you do, you’ll find a niche for yourself, front and centre, possibly people-facing, and with plenty for you to say and do. 

If you;d like to reminisce further over Nativity plays and other Christmas rites of passage, you might enjoy our feature Moments of Magic starting on page 54, which looks at first bikes, carol concerts, taking over the Christmas dinner and getting the train home for Christmas. We’re feeling festive already.

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Rituals | The Christmas Decs Box

It comes out each year, like an old friend. Here are a few ways to mark the return of the Christmas Decorations Box

Getting the box of decorations down from the attic is the moment Christmas truly arrives, isn’t it? Lifting back cardboard and pulling away bubble wrap to find familiar jewel coloured baubles nestled beneath feels a bit like coming home. And the moment when all the decorations go back in the box for another years often feels a bit poignant too, as the celebrations come to an end and life returns to normal once more. 

We think our Christmas Decs Boxes deserve a bit of reverence. So we’ve put together a few ideas for small rituals that will help make the putting up and the bringing down of the decs a bit more special, and a bit less of a chore. 

Putting up the decs rituals

1. Pick a festive tipple to be the drink you always have as you dress the tree and deck the halls. It can be as simple as a sherry if you want but you might like to pick something a bit unusual that’s particular to your household - have a look at The Simple Things blog and search ‘tipple’ for more ideas on festive cocktails you can make. It doesn’t have to be alcoholic though; try a non-alcoholic eggnog perhaps? Or a clementine mockjito maybe?  (Clementine juice muddled with sugar and lemon wedges, poured over ice and topped up with sparkling water.) Having a special ‘get the decs up’ tipple really makes it feel like the festivities are beginning. You can keep the recipe for your tipple in your decs box in case you need reminding. 

2. Keep a Decs Box guest book. Pop a little notebook in your box and each year, make a note of the date you put the decorations up, who was there to help and what you did. You could pop a photo in too if you like. As it grows each year, it will become a lovely little piece of family history. 

3. Make a playlist. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with a bit of Carols from Kings as you detangle the fairy lights, but if you make your own playlist on Spotify you can add to it whenever you come across a track you like. Doesn’t even have to be Christmassy; anything that gets you in the mood for throwing holly sprigs on top of picture frames. 

Taking down the decs rituals

1. Have an online Decs Down party. Get your wider family, or just a good friend you’re long overdue a natter with, on a video call, make a cuppa (or something stronger if you like) and catch up while you wind lights around cereal packets and carefully nestle baubles back in egg boxes. This idea is great if taking the decorations down always makes you feel maudlin. Once you’ve got everything packed up and had a lovely chat, get someone else to run the Hoover round and before you know it, everything is clean and sparkling and you’re already looking forward to a new year and new plans. 

2. Pop a copy of this year’s Radio Times, or a newspaper if you like, into the decs box as you close it. There’s something oddly fascinating about looking back and seeing what you watched on telly at Christmas 2008 somehow - like your own Blue Peter time capsule. 

3. Write to your future Christmas self. You can tell yourself anything - what you did this Christmas, any highlights and lowlights, what you’re hoping for in the coming year, and maybe even what your dreams are for this time next year. It makes interesting reading when you get the box down from the attic again next December. 

The picture above is one of our ‘simple things’ from our December issue. If you’re feeling inspired by the Christmas Decs Box rituals, you might also like to read our feature The Calm Before Christmas, starting on page 82, which has lots of ideas for an alternative advent full of kind and quiet rituals and habits.

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How to | Give Living Gifts

Ideas for gifts that will keep on giving… and living!

PLANTS
Rehome house plants: the plantlets on spider plants are simple to snip off. Start them off in shallow water in a jar, before transferring to potting soil and a pretty pot. Works for Devil’s Ivy and Swiss Cheese Plant, too. Take seed: if you’ve had time to collect and dry seeds, pop them into decorated envelopes with instructions. Give a tree: £5 contributes one sapling to the National Trust’s Grow A Tree fund: nationaltrust.org.uk/features/plant-a-tree

PROBIOTICS
Have a SCOBY (aka a Symbiotic Culture of Bacteria and Yeast): a necessary part of home kombucha cultivation culture. To share, slice around 2cm off the top of the wobbly disc that forms on batches of kombucha, before popping into a fabric-covered jar. Likewise, kefir (an edible, yoghurtstyle probiotic drink) needs a SCOBY: to gift, put a small quantity into a jar of whole milk and seal. Spread the dough: prep your sourdough starter for passing on by feeding it up, before dividing and placing half into a jar. Treat the spinoff to a daily 1:1:1 mix of starter: water: flour (max. 100g each), until it’s ready for use.

PEOPLE
Give skills or time: pledge to take on a tedious job for someone or simply offer to babysit (or pet-sit), a gift to be redeemed at a point of their choosing.

This guide to Living Giving is from our December Miscellany pages, where you’ll find lots more seasonal fun, facts and puzzles to amuse you all month.

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Recipe | Lucky Meringue Mushrooms (Gluckspilze)

Sweet, advent treats to make to get you in the mood. It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas…

Mushrooms are seen as a symbol of good luck in Germany. As well as glass ornaments for the Christmas tree, they are also made into edible marzipan confections and these light and crunchy meringues. With a chewy centre, these are delectable on their own, but also make great ‘lucky’ decorations.

Makes about 20
2 egg whites
140g caster sugar
80g dark chocolate
¼ tsp coconut oil
1 tsp unsweetened cocoa powder

1 Preheat the oven to 100C/Fan 80C/ Gas ¼ and line two large baking sheets with baking paper.

2 Put the egg whites into a bowl and, using an electric mixer, whisk for a couple of minutes on a high speed until stiff peaks form. Reduce the speed and add the sugar one tablespoon at a time, whisking all the while, until incorporated and glossy.

3 To make the caps of the mushrooms, spoon 20 tsp of the meringue mixture, spaced 2cm apart, onto one of the baking sheets. Flatten the mounds with the back of a spoon until they’re between 2–3cm in diameter, then round off the tops.

4 To make the stalks, spoon heaped teaspoons of the mixture 2cm apart onto the second sheet. This time try to lift the spoon up as you do so to create taller (around 3–4cm high) peaks. Bake for 45 mins and don’t be tempted to open the oven door. Once the time is up, turn the oven off and let the meringues cool completely inside the oven.

5 Once the meringues are cooled, put the chocolate and coconut oil into a bain-marie with a 1cm of water in the bottom. Heat on low then, once the chocolate starts melting, stir until glossy. Spoon chocolate onto the underside of each mushroom cap. The chocolate will act as the glue to hold the stalk in place. While holding a cap in one hand, gently push a stalk into the centre of the chocolatecoated side – you will hear a cracking sound as it breaks through the base of the meringue cap; don’t worry, it’s a good thing as it means they will stick together well. Place cap-side down on the baking sheet and repeat with the remaining caps and stalks.

6 Once the chocolate has set (which will take an hour or so), turn them over onto their stalks and, using a sieve, dust the tops of the caps with cocoa powder.

Cook’s note: Stored in an airtight container, these will keep well for about 2 weeks.

Taken from Advent: Festive German Bakes to Celebrate the Coming of Christmas by Anja Dunk (Quadrille). Photography: Anja Dunk. You can find more of Anja’s recipes for Advent bakes and makes starting from page 75.

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