Illustration by Stocksy

Many of us don’t love change but it’s one of the only certainties in life, like death and taxes. Here’s how to thrive when change descends

When we survive uncertain times, we realise that we’re more resilient than we thought. Therapist Lottie Storey, author of Find Your Path To Acceptance (Leaping Hare Press) says “change and uncertainty may not be comfortable, but they are the reality of being human.” We all hold a vision for ourselves and when the future you’d envisaged is threatened and it feels like you’re losing your identity, Lottie says it’s helpful to reflect on how your roles throughout life so far (eg, child, student, friend, partner) and how your feelings have changed over time but the person who has experienced them (you) has remained.

How to use the rule of three

In terms of seismic change, Lottie advises using the following as a guide to allow yourself the time to process big changes in life.

For the first three days, try to do nothing. Remove all the pressures you can while your mind makes sense of what has happened.
For the following three weeks, do only what’s necessary. Take it slow and steady while you gradually learn to readjust.
For the following three months, pace yourself. If you’ve taken time off work, plan a slow return. Try easing yourself back into social plans.

This is how long it takes to settle into a new understanding of your reality so don’t hurry. Take the opportunity to review how your life felt before and mindfully consider how you’d like it to be from here onwards. You can also use the Rule of Three for less impactful experiences with a shorter timescale – three minutes, three hours, and three days.

You can red more about coping with change in our September issue feature, Coping With Big Change by Rebecca Frank.

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