How to | Speak Like a Glaswegian

In our September issue, we visited Glasgow in our My City pages. If you were inspired to a visit yourself, here’s a little primer on how to speak like a true Weegie while you’re there. 

Awa' an bile yer heid
Meaning: ‘Go away and boil your head.’ Or get lost, take a hike, etc etc. 

Baltic

Meaning: Cold (etymology fairly obvious, and Glaswegians know a thing or two about the cold, so if THEY say it’s Baltic out there, we believe them.)

Bampot

Meaning: Idiot, probably derived from the English word ‘barmpot’, a pot for storing yeast.

Coupon

Meaning: Face, likely from the French ‘couper’, meaning ‘to cut. It’s thought French soldiers in battle referred to decapitated heads of the enemy as ‘coupons’, and that somehow filtered through to the streets of Glasgow, 

Hee-haw

Meaning: Nothing. The sound a donkey would make, or a loud laugh. As in “how much is in your wallet?” “Absolute hee haw!”

Wean

Meaning: child, as in a baby who would be weaned off the breast. 

Scunnered

Meaning: Disgusted. From the old Scots ‘skunnyr’ meaning to flinch or shrink back from. 

Piece
Meaning: a sandwich or slice of bread. As in a ‘jeely piece’ (jam sandwich). A piece referred to a piece of bread but it came to mean a sandwich, too. Not that a true ‘piece’ is not a tidily cut-up sarnie but a couple of slices of bread, stuffed with filling that probably falls on your top as you eat it. 

Haud yer wheest

Meaning: shut up. Wheesht once existed in English as ‘whisht’ and both simply mean ‘shush’. 

Greet

Meaning: To cry, coming from the Old English ‘gret’. A ‘greetin’ face’ is a cry baby.

You can read all about Anna Pande’s Glasgow in our armchair travel pages, My City, in our September issue.

More from My City…

More from our September issue…

Travel | When in Rome

Photography by Flavia Brunetti

It’s one of the most fascinating historical cities in the world, but there are a few things you might need to know in order to do as Romans do on a visit.

1. Cross the road with a nun. Or an old person. But preferably an elderly nun. Drivers in Rome show little care for pedestrians but they make exceptions for the elderly and women of the cloth, so if you’re crossing the road with one of them, you’re a little safer.

2. Do not ask for a cappuccino or a latte after midday. You will not only be laughed at but they’ll probably refuse to serve you, too. Milky coffees are for breakfast. Espressos or machiatos are for later in the day.

3. Ice creams, however, are for any time, any day. And you should have at least one gelato a day. But aim for three. Go for a gelateria with the steel tubs, never white plastic ones. Steel tubs probably means they made it themselves.

4. Beware Romans bearing gifts. A common scam is to ‘give’ you something on the street… and then charge you a fortune for it. Simply say ‘non, grazie’. 

5. Only make a wish at the Trevi Fountain. There are many fountains around the city where you will be encouraged to hurl your Euros into the water, but the Trevi Fountain is the ‘proper’ one and the only one Romans bother with where wishes are concerned. 

6. Go for the rectangular pizza, not the stuff cut up like a pie. It’s called Pizza al Taglio and you can buy it on most streets in Rome. Trastevere is the best district to buy food in. 

7. Don’t buy water - fill your reusable bottle from one of the 2,500 free drinking fountains around the city. They knew what they were doing when they built those aqueducts - it’s fresh, clean and cold. 

8. If you’re dining on a budget, have ‘aperitivo’ rather than dinner. For around 6-8 euros you can have a drink and a good, cheap plate of something (often a buffet) and leave full but not broke. Sometimes, aperitivo plates are actually free!

9. The best coffee is at Saint Eustachio cafe. It’s a fraction of the price if you have it standing at the bar rather than taking up a table.

10. Don’t look like a tourist by standing in a queue for hours. Buy your Vatican tickets online to skip the queue. And if you’re visiting the Colosseum, first visit the less popular Palatino and buy your Colosseum tickets there so you can just saunter through the door at the Colosseum later. 

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Think | Why We Want More Icelandic Things

Some cultures just really know how to do things <well>, don’t they? Here are a few weird but wonderful Icelandic traditions, customs and ways of life that we’re campaigning to bring to Britain

Jolabokaflod

We rave about this with alarming regularity but it bears repeating. Chocolate and new books for everyone on Christmas Eve?? Why is this not just the law rather than a charming Icelandic tradition?

Thorrablót

Just when the joy of Jolabokaflod is beginning to disperse, January and February arrive and bring Thorrablót, a feasting night with poems, speeches and traditional Icelandic foods. It can be a dinner with close friends or a whole town getting together, but however it’s celebrated it’s a moment to bring a little light and laughter to midwinter. Just what you need. 

Bolludagur

Hot on Thorrablót’s heels (we like the way they really keep the good stuff coming through winter, by the way), Icelanders celebrate Bolludagur - BUN DAY. As if we need to say more than “BUN DAY”, this festival in late February or early March happens the day before Shrove Tuesday. Children make bun wands and spank their parents with them. Each spank is rewarded with a chocolate bun. We didn’t say Bolludagur was about good parenting, but we want a Bun Day, too. 

Valuing time together

Icelanders are big on the important things in life, such as remembering to tell people you enjoyed their company. When they meet, as well as saying ‘nice to see you’ they’ll also say ‘takk fyrir síꝺast’ or ‘thanks for the last time’ so that you know they enjoyed seeing you then as well and you both remember what a jolly time it was. We’d like to see more of this. 

Believing in magic

Apparently 8% of Icelanders are certain that elves exist and 45% believe it is likely that elves are a real thing. Iceland has a strong folklore tradition but we applaud the way the people throw themselves wholeheartedly into it. Especially the trolls - they’re seriously into their folklore... Yes, the trolls. What?!

Proper respect for carbs

With lots of fresh fish and veg in their diets, Icelanders live a fairly healthy lifestyle. But whatever you’re having you can be sure of a nice steamy bowl of potatoes on the side. If it’s possible to love a potato more than the British, Iceland has it covered and we can only applaud this. Every meal feels more comforting with a bowl of tatties on the side. 

Getting water right

Icelandic tap water is just about the purest in the world. No need for buying plastic bottles of water here, the stuff that comes out of the tap is basically Evian. Very refreshing. And very refreshing to see the reduction in wasted plastic from all those bottles they don’t need to buy. We’d like spring water from our taps, too, please. 

Taking things slow

The top speed limit in Iceland is just 55 miles per hour, so you don’t get boy racers screeching past you on the roads. It’s safer, it’s greener and it’s just less stressful when everyone is pootling along taking in the scenery rather than racing from A to B. 

Scaring children just the right amount

Rather than saccharine Santas, at Christmas, Iceland has Gryla (a child-eating ogre) and The Yule Lads (Gryla’s child-eating progenies). There’s also a terrifying Yule Cat who eats children who don’t get new clothes for Christmas. Is anyone else spotting a child-eating theme emerging here? However, a law was passed in 1746 which prohibited adults from scaring children with these tales. The tales remained but after that, kids got presents in shoes as well to calm things down. Seems fair to us. 

Bjordagur

We’re having Bun Day for sure, that’s safe. But now we’ve heard about BEER DAY (Bjordagur) and we definitely want that, too. Beer was actually prohibited in Iceland from 1915 to 1987 so now they celebrate its return by drinking lots of beer every 1st of March. Well, you’d want something to wash down all the buns, wouldn’t you?

If you’re feeling inspired to find out more about the Land of the Midnight Sun, don’t miss our ‘My City’ feature on Reykjavik in the November issue of The Simple Things.

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My City: Stockholm botels

Enjoy a spell of midsummer magic as the sun shines in Sweden's cool capital city. Turn to page 62 of June's The Simple Things for a tour around Stockholm with Lola Akinmade Åkerstrom.

Nigerian-born Lola (lolaakinmade.com) is an award-winning writer and photographer whose work appears in National Geographic Traveler, The Guardian and many more. She is the editor of Slow Travel Stockholm (slowtravelstockholm.com). 

Lola says:

Stockholm has some fantastic boat hotels called botels, which are refurbished remnants of the city’s nautical past, now used as modern-day lodgings. 

A list of some botels in Stockholm worth checking out - http://www.slowtravelstockholm.com/historical-stockholm/staying-afloat-stockholms-botels/

Read more from the June issue:

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Spend a day with Wayward Daughter (closed)

Wayward_Daughter

Take a glimpse into everyday city life in Edinburgh, as Cait from Wayward Daughter shows us round her home city, and how to style Barbour's new Dress Tartan collection...

Don't forget we're giving away a His and Hers Barbour outfitinside issue 10, so make sure you pick up your copy for a chance to win!

My City: Helsinki

Take a special tour around blogger Lauren Memarian's home city of Helsinki not seen inside this month's magazine...

What’s your best discovery about your city? We’re still discovering new things every day about this little city- that’s one of the great things about here. I suppose the best discovery so far though has been the people! People really make a city, and the people in Helsinki make it a great place to live- especially for a foreigner who is trying to learn Finnish! Thankfully nearly everyone here speaks almost perfect English- which is helpful when words are about 30 letters long sometimes and look like the noise you make when you stub your toe. Riiuuyoaie. See?

Tell us about the colours of your city? The city’s colours are quite understated. The architecture tends to favour muted olive greens, blues, yellows and pinks, and stone doorways and building facades are common. Even the sea is a pale slate-grey. In stark contrast are the flowers outside of shops and in window boxes - they overflow with colour, and the Relandersgrund café boat is a welcome splash of bright red in the harbour.

What is the light like? Do you have long, light summer evenings, etc? The light here is fascinating. Though the winter days are short and cold, once summer arrives the days become nearly 20 hours long and we’re rewarded with beautiful, pure light. As the sun sets it gives everything a soft glow that lasts for a few hours and always makes me think of Sofia Coppola’s films!

What types of shop do you most like to visit? Have you discovered anything really special or different? I can usually be found poking about in fusty old second- hand shops, digging through old vinyl records to find that one horrendous album I can’t live without (last week it was Pia Zadora and Jermaine Jackson- the Rock Aliens soundtrack!). I also have a sad fascination with the kitchen appliance section of our local department store. They have a gadget for everything! There are so many tiny and interesting shops in Helsinki that it’s hard to narrow it down to a few favourites. Pino (Frederikinkatu 22) is a great place for design-led storage solutions, while Papershop (Mariankatu 15) is a perfect little place to find letterpressed cards and printed wrapping papers.

Do you like people watching? I am an obsessive people watcher! I like to draw the people I see, and try to work out as many details about them as I can- while trying not to totally creep them out, of course.

What games do you play as you go about your everyday life? There’s a city webcam mounted to a building looking over the harbour, and I always stop and wave to it when I walk by. I know my family like to peek in at the feed sometimes, and I always wonder if we’ll catch each other.

What keeps you in the city now? The supremely addictive cinnamon buns! (But really my husband’s job.) We’ve also made a great group of Finnish friends, and they act as our surrogate family as we’re so far from ours.

If you could change one thing about the city, what would it be? Ok, this may sound petty, but I would make at least one decent take-away. Unfortunately, while Helsinki’s restaurant scene is bubbling over with talent, the take- aways are sorely lacking. Sometimes I do miss a good Chinese...

Don't miss the rest of the tour in this month's issue of The Simple Things.

My City: Rue Cavallotti art

Writer and photographer Nichole Robertson shows us round her favourite free art show in the city of Paris. It occurs twice a day on rue Cavalotti (close to Monmarte) at dawn and closing time...

Fall in love with more of hidden Paris inside Issue 9.